All She Ever Wanted: Analysis

Season 1, Episode 9: All She Ever Wanted

Analysis

I do wonder sometimes whether, as a guy, I should be watching a show like Being Erica. I doubt it's the normal guy type show, not that I particularly care or think you should only be allowed to like certain genres.

Then again, I think if you showed guys this episode they'd be more inclined to watch future ones. Let's get it out of the way straight up: it's the lesbian kiss episode.

There, I've said it. It's girl on girl action, it's female nudity, and yeah, for guys, it's a bit of a turn on. It's two attractive young women making out. It's also, in my opinion, not something to get too worked up about.

Now, I'm no qualified expert, but I do agree with Dr. Tom - I'm not sure people are that easy to label. Straight, gay, bi, I'm not sure it's as simple as that. My own thoughts are human sexuality works more on a spectrum basis - rather than just three individual camps.

Take Erica for example, who was clearly both emotionally and physically attracted to another woman in Cassidy. However, when it came to sexual attraction, actually wanting to have sex with another woman, she couldn't go there.

It wasn't "all" so, ultimately, it was "nothing," when it came to anything more happening between them. Which was telling when Erica returned back to the present day and had to confront her relationship with Ryan.

Now, I've made it quite clear in the past that I'm no Ryan fan. I won't lie, I cheered the first time I saw him leaving the series - hopefully never to return in the future. However, you can't help but feel a little sorry for him.

It's not that Erica was being deliberately unfair to him, indeed, as she said, he was a great boyfriend in so many ways. There's that key word though "ways." As he tells her, he felt unable to compete with Ethan in any "way" that mattered to her.

He was always merely the substitute, the second prize, the replacement. We all knew Erica harboured feelings for Ethan, as much as she tried to convince him, and herself, that she didn't.

I guess it does raise the issue of whether somebody in a relationship can have a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex. It was clearly an issue for Ryan, however, I think you can.

My own personal experience was of living with a girl for two years at university and us becoming great friends, more like brother and sister than anything. There was no physical attraction and, at times, we were both in relationships that weren't compromised by our friendship.

For Erica therefore, with unresolved feelings for Ethan, her relationship with Ryan was never going to work out. Indeed, had it not been for Claire's re-emergence, would she and Ryan have even got together? I doubt it.

From her twice knocking on the wall, a Freudian slip if ever there was one, to that reliable old indicator of feelings - the streak of jealousy she exhibits over Julianne and Ethan.

Whatever the situation, whether date for a party, pretend boyfriend for school reunion, or sounding board over what to do in a tricky situation, Ethan was her go-to guy - and we know why.

That's the thing about feelings though, I guess - you can't control them. The heart wants what the heart wants, as Josh would say.

Now, much more intelligent, more enlightened, and more experienced people than me have tried to discuss and talk about love. In truth, I'm not even going to try to go into too much depth because I'm nowhere near qualified enough.

Love is scary though, and it hurts. I guess I'm no different from a lot of people, wanting to protect myself from the hurt and probably being overly cautious. You certainly wouldn't catch me falling in love after just three months like poor Ryan.

Seriously though, who does fall in love after just three months? And what guy declares so prematurely? That's like the second worst premature thing a guy can do. Call it stubbornness, but I'd never say the 'L word' before it'd been said to me, even if I was there before her.

Of course, that's exactly what Erica does in yet another heartbreaking conclusion to an episode. They're certainly good at the heart-wrenching moments, the writers. Credit to Erin, who knocks it out of the park every time with her performances.

She puts herself out there, after Dr. Tom's words about who she can give "those all important things" to. It's an interesting point actually, that while some wait to have sex with people, surely giving someone your heart is more sacred than giving someone your body?

I think so anyway, but Erica certainly lays it all out for Ethan who, maybe taking the easy and cowardly option, hides behind his "marriage" to Claire. However, we all know that he's pretty much in the same place as Erica, it's just not in his nature to be so forward.

However, she thrusts the ball well and firmly into his court. Sometimes, too, I think that's exactly what's required. Unless it comes about after a drink too many, friends taking their relationship to the next level can often be the most difficult and hard relationships to initiate.

After all, who wants to be the person to make the leap, take the jump, and risk everything. Things can never be the same again, despite what people say.

However, I do think that friendship is the best foundation for any relationship, so I guess sometimes you have to risk losing something to get everything you want.

You could argue, too, that Erica may not have been the one to jump first without her work with Dr. Tom. It's a clear sign of the more confident and determined Erica that is slowly beginning to form.

Elsewhere, after the seriousness of the previous episode, it was also nice to see a comic turn featuring Barbara, with her adoration of Jennifer Aniston.

Indeed, there were the usual funny moments - Jenny and Judith's teasing of Erica, Ethan's Y2K paranoia, and his discovery of Erica and Cassidy topless. Julianne, too, was her usual self - including the highly embarrassing moment when she realises the roses aren't for her, but Erica.

As ever, too, Erica - following on from nearly crashing a car, knocking over a Jenga tower, spilling coffee, and falling down playing Twister - has her usual comic transition.

This time, one of my own personal nightmares, breaking something in a store. It's not happened yet, but I've had close calls. One day my luck just might run out. For Erica, it's the breaking of champagne glasses.

Then again, perhaps that was appropriate in an episode full of breaking - just most notably hearts. Cassidy's, Ryan's, and finally Erica's. For a little while, anyway.