Season 1, Episode 10: Mi Casa, Su Casa Loma
Analysis
When was the last time you told somebody you loved them? How about when you told somebody you didn't like them? Now, how about the last time you told somebody you were jealous of them?
Not easy to remember, I know. After all, as Dr. Tom so rightly says, we don't talk about being jealous. It's not the done thing. It's not an attractive quality in someone, to covet someone else's life.
However, to a certain degree, we're all jealous of other people - even if we try and convince ourselves otherwise. Whether it's the kind of jealousy which plays a part in relationships - as we saw with Ryan over Ethan, or just the kind of envy emanating from Erica when she looks at Katie.
Her friendship with Katie forms the central theme of Episode 10, but it begins with a look at another friendship, namely her now strained one with Ethan. Of course, there's something comical about her trying to avoid him at the start, but there's a serious point to it.
After having so much difficulty in taking a leap, as Dr. Tom put it, she admitted her love for Ethan only for him to crush it. Is there anything worse than opening yourself up and laying your emotions out for someone, only for them to reject you?
Still, Erica's mind is then given the distraction of Katie's presence. Now, we've all got people who rub us up the wrong way, I dare say I am that person for some people I've met, and it's a challenge just to try and co-exist with them.
However, when that person is one of your oldest friends, and formerly one of the people you were closest to in life, what do you do? It's hard.
Now, in her previous appearance, I wasn't too complimentary about Katie, but I guess the whole point of the episode was to shed a bit more light on the character and be a bit more sympathetic towards her.
Obviously she is a bit self-involved, and she has no qualms with stealing Erica's words and ideas when pitching her idea to Julianne about The None. She's clearly ruthless, and maybe that's why she's got to where she has with her career. That killer instinct.
However, I'm not sure she's as malicious as I first thought, maybe crass and tactless at times - like her comment about Erica's job being to make lattes. There was no need. However, was she intentionally lauding it over Erica? I don't know. Mind you, the 'Merica Grange' anecdote was particularly funny.
We all know Erica is a sensitive creature - her mom told us in Episode 1 after all. Indeed, that's what makes her such a fun central character. She wears her heart on her sleeve and can so easily get annoyed and wound up through her stubbornness and principles.
Her ranting while pacing around Dr. Tom's office while he chuckles that Katie writing the book was "her idea" was typical of their relationship. I have to admit I'm one of those people who laughs at almost everything in life and, like Erica with Dr. Tom, others don't always welcome it.
However, he also gives her a chance for some therapy after her heated exchange with Julianne, so he knows just what she needs and is there for her when she needs him most. Incidentally, how clever was that overhead camera shot so we could see that Erica was going to head into Dr. Tom's office before she knew? Love it.
Just a word on Julianne. The more I watch the series, the more I find her just plain annoying and nasty in the early days. Indeed, I'm not even sure why Erica and her become so close in Season 2. I'm sure I'll remember when I see it.
However, once again, she showed herself up to be not only out of her depth in her job - too flighty and too impulsive, but also that she is almost like a school girl bully at times. Her pretend phone call about a "reality check" for Erica was uncalled for.
Throw in the stupid air quoting, management talk, and general attitude and I think I'd hate to work for her. Maybe in Season 2, with the events that occur, we only warm to her through pity?
Her comment about Erica playing in her 20s did have me worrying a bit though. Not looking forward to paying for that in my 30s, if Julianne is to be believed.
Of course, it's back to her teens where Dr. Tom sends Erica though, revisiting her time working at Casa Loma. I never knew this was a real place until I did a bit of research. I've actually learned a lot about Toronto and Ontaria just from watching this series. We don't get a lot of Canada-related stuff over here in the UK.
Watching her regret again, it's clear to see how Katie was indeed in Erica's shadow when they were younger, and how it was easy for her to feel "worthless" - the exact same word Erica tells Dr. Tom that Katie now makes her feel in the present day.
From people forgetting the party in Casa Loma was her idea, to Judith and Erica's quick bonding, to not getting to dance with Zach, she always seems to be overlooked. Indeed, after the party Zach doesn't even know Katie is, referring to her only as the "stress bunny."
Speaking of which, why is that so sexy? I know it's a classic costume, but us guys really do like girls dressed like that. Have to add too, that Sarah looks really great during the flashback.
I never really noticed her looks in the earlier episodes, maybe it's because they try and dress the actress to look older, as she is actually my age - nearly ten years younger than the character she plays. However, in the time travel she looks really hot.
It's quite obvious where things are going to go with Leo and Katie though. We've already seen a bit of chemistry between them during the party - and we know Leo is a bit of a player from Erica's perfect day on Toronto Island. The loose tail was also a bit obvious.
I'll let the writers off though, seeing as they do a sterling job. Notice the continuity from Episode 3 where Erica recalls a quote of Dr. Tom's coming from The Matrix - which she tells Ethan in this episode is the only sci-fi film she's ever got into it.
All the standard features are included too. A customary funny appearance by Dr. Tom, who has even got into the dressing up act himself as Freud - plus the funny accent. Erica's transition from holding onto the chair to dropping the case of beer was also cleverly done.
Also typical was Erica's reaction to seeing Leo - she couldn't stop smiling. And who was it who convinced her to hold the party, once more, in Casa Loma? It was Leo - and the chance to spend the evening with him partying.
Incidentally, a quick word on Halloween. It may be changing a little now, but it's just never caught on the same over here as in North America. Not sure why, but I've never made a big deal of it. Not that I'd dress up anyway, I've never liked fancy dress. I don't know why.
There are also plenty of time errors from Erica in this episode, whether it was her knowing so much about Judith despite them just meeting, calling Addison a "kid," or talking about a movie which was still just a book in 1993. They're always fun to include.
It was also clever of the writers to feature the River Phoenix news in the plot. I wasn't aware of this myself, being just six at the time, but I always think it's clever when they can add a bit of reality into a series like this with its time travelling aspect - even if it's to laugh at the comically big cell phone Zach boasts about.
Things come to a head when Erica catches Leo and Katie having sex of course, and it's down to Leo to spell out what's obvious to him, even if Erica can't see how Katie always plays second fiddle to her.
Then comes the awkwardness of trying to raise the issues of jealousy. How do you even begin to? If you accuse someone else of being so, it makes you arrogant. If you raise it as the jealous party yourself, it makes you look pathetic. It's a no win situation.
Perhaps Erica, realising that Katie has no reason to be jealous of her in the '90s, understands that she doesn't need to be the same in the present day. After all, the grass isn't always greener.
I also think too, that spending time comparing yourself to other people is always pointless - there will always be people better off than you, but there will always be people worse off than you. Just be happy to be who you are, whatever that means.
There's a nice conclusion, as the two friends seem to make up and look ahead to a better relationship in the future. Of course, with her feud with Katie put to rest, it only reminds Erica that she has another friendship that needs attention. And it will receive it.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Mi Casa, Su Casa Loma
Season 1, Episode 10: Mi Casa, Su Casa Loma
Episode Guide
Erica is cautiously, stealthily making her way out of her apartment, as not to make a noise to alert Ethan.
"Have you ever had a feeling that's like an unwelcome guest? It invades your mind and, no matter how hard you deny, misdirect, or avoid it, you can't make it go away?"
She peers down the corridor and sees Ethan's apartment door is closed and begins to quietly walk down the hallway.
"You tell yourself you can control it, but the truth is it's never that easy. Deciding not to do something - that's easy. But deciding not to feel something? A whole other ball game."
Her attention is drawn to a piece of mail on a table she passes - which she picks up to take a look at. In her attempt to put it back though, she ends up dropping it on the floor - which make a noise.
She tries to creep past Ethan's door, hoping he hasn't heard this, but he suddenly opens the door and Erica realises she has no choice but to stop and say hello. She tells him that she has be going though, or else she will be late.
Ethan offers to walk her down and tells Erica she can't keep avoiding him as she has been doing. Erica insists she's been busy, however, he replies he's been texting her and knocking on the wall. He tells her she won't get rid of him that easily.
Erica swears that she will call him tomorrow, but says she has to go or else she'll be late for the movie she's going to see. Ethan replies that he'd love to go, grabs his coat, and joins Erica - who doesn't look pleased.
Walking to the movie theatre, Erica is talking about Judith wanting to watch a sci-fi film about aliens coming out of people, which she attributes to the fact Judith is pregnant. She then goes on to explain her dislike of sci-fi films barring The Matrix.
Realising what she is doing, Ethan tells her she hasn't stopped talking since they left the apartment building. He tells her they are going to be at the movies in a minute and they still haven't discussed "what happened."
Erica tells him she doesn't want to discuss it and finds it embarrassing. She says she's fine with him not feeling the same way as her, but can't just stop feeling the way she does. Ethan asks if their friendship is over, but Erica assures him it isn't and they agree to figure out a way to get past it.
They arrive outside the movie theatre where waiting for them are both Judith and Katie - who Erica explains to Ethan is in town for a couple of days covering the Giller Prize for her newspaper column.
Katie greets Erica, saying she looks amazing and asks if she's lost weight. Taken aback, Erica replies that she hasn't. Turning to Ethan, Katie recalls that the last time she saw him, at the school reunion, he was pretending to be Erica's boyfriend. Erica looks embarrassed, but Katie jokes that she was pretending to be a total bitch.
They make their way into the theatre, with Judith and Erica queueing for popcorn and drinks while Katie and Ethan save seats.
Judith, who is heavily pregnant, is bemoaning the size of the drinks and how being pregnant is affecting her bladder. However, Erica is too busy ranting about Katie to listen. She says that Katie is probably pumping Ethan for information about any idiotic things she has done lately.
Annoyed, Judith tells Erica she has been fighting with Katie for years and suggests she just lets it go. Erica responds that Katie is the one who needs to let it go - telling of Katie writing in her column that Erica had "peaked in high school."
Judith says she didn't mention her name, but Erica reminds her Katie wrote about a 32-year-old assistant called 'Merica Grange' who brought a fake boyfriend to the reunion, and challenges what part of 'Merica' Judith was when she tells Erica that Katie writes about everyone.
Irritated, Judith snaps at Erica and explains how her back is killing her and bemoans, loudly, that in three weeks time she will be "pushing something the size of a football out of her vagina."
She tells Erica she just wants to spend today eating popcorn, watching a movie, and having fun with her friends before her life changes forever. Erica understands, and Judith consoles her that she was Lisa Coles in Katie's column - the pregnant woman who's terrified of kids.
Erica and Judith find Katie and Ethan sitting in the theatre talking about her career. Ethan asks her where she gets her ideas. Katie says that can often be the hardest part, and turns to Judith and Erica explaining that sometimes she has to really search until she hits on the right story.
She says it can be a slog, and Erica replies sarcastically that it sounds really tough. Katie senses her tone and tries to change the subject away from her. She asks Erica and Ethan if they're just still friends or whether they are now 'friends with benefits?'
Erica looks unhappy at this question, and Ethan tries to steer the conversation back to Katie's career. Meanwhile, Judith is in pain and trying to make it known to the others who continue to talk over here.
Katie understands that their love life is none of her business, but tells Erica she was genuinely happy for them at the reunion and laughs as she says she thinks they make the "cutest couple ever." Riled, Erica asks Katie why everything in her life is a joke to her.
The lights go out as the movie gets ready to begin. Judith tells Erica and Katie to stop arguing, but they continue, with Katie accusing Erica of being over-sensitive to her teasing. Erica responds that she's not the one with the problem.
Judith is now very uncomfortable and needs to go to the bathroom, but Erica - who blocks her way to the aisle - isn't listening. She tells Katie that she can't stop rubbing it in or leave her alone. Judith stands up to try and go the washroom but it's too late and she ends up peeing herself.
Back at Erica's apartment, Judith has borrowed a pair of Erica's pants and Erica apologises, explaining that every time she's around Katie she becomes a different person. She says seeing Katie gives her a tight feeling in her chest and makes her angry - and bemoans not being able to decide to stop caring.
Judith smiles at this, recalling that it was Katie who introduced the pair of them and is the reason they are friends. Erica states that she and Katie used to spend every second together and she is the only friend she's had since she was five.
Now, she laments, she can't even be in the same room with Katie for less than a minute without wanting to rip her head off. Judith enquires as to what has changed between them, but Erica confesses that she doesn't know.
She then has an idea and asks to borrow Judith's cell phone. Erica calls Katie, who is walking through the city, and answers - thinking she is speaking to Judith. Katie begins to rant about how Erica had been acting like a "psycho" and she thought she was going to rip her head off.
Much to Katie's shock, Erica then informs her that it's she who Katie is actually speaking to, but tells her she hasn't called to fight but to talk about what a psycho she has been. Katie tells her she is only in town for a few days and not to worry about it.
However, Erica says she does worry and they both agree the fight was awful. Erica suggests that they give things another try or cut their losses and asks Katie to have lunch with her tomorrow so they can talk. Katie agrees and they arrange to meet at noon before hanging up. Judith tells Erica it will either work out or not, but Erica has given it another shot.
The next day, Erica is staring at the clock on the wall as it gets ever closer to midday. Brent walks by and notices this, and breaks her stare by suggesting there's a gunfight approaching - "something going down at high noon."
Erica tells him she's just waiting for lunch and, at that moment, Katie walks out of the elevator doors into the office. Brent is amazed to see a "star" in the building and even more surprised when Erica goes over to greet her.
Julianne also wanders out of her office at this sight, and Brent requests Katie signs a copy of her column. Julianne introduces herself to Katie as a "huge, huge fan," saying her writing style reminds her of River Rock's best seller.
Erica jumps in when she realises Katie isn't able to finish Julianne's sentence, as she had been expecting. She lies that her and Katie are always talking about The Secret Of Now, and Katie chips in that it is a "profound read."
Pleased, Julianne suggests they go out to lunch to discuss her latest brainwave, The None, but Katie says that, as this is her last day in town, she is going with Erica - one of her oldest friends. They then leave, although not before Katie has autographed Brent's newspaper.
In the restaurant, Erica and Katie reminisce about the old days, including their favourite drink as teenagers, vodka and tang. Katie then recalls the dance, where she says "she could have died" if it wasn't for Erica.
She tells Erica that they used to have one another's back, and thanks her for saving her during her earlier encounter with Julianne. Erica then explains that Katie hit a nerve yesterday and she overreacted and they both apologise.
Katie asks her why Ethan is a nerve, but Erica explains that it is her love life in general. Katie recalls Jenny telling her about Erica's break-up, and Erica admits she broke things off with Ryan. Katie is surprised and enquires what was wrong with him.
Erica tells her nothing, but that she felt something was missing. Katie warns Erica that holding out for the perfect guy is risky and she could end up alone. Katie says that everything is about compromise, and Erica replies that she sounds like Julianne when talking about the premise of The None.
Katie jokes that she should write the book, and Erica adds that she could pitch her life story as its hook. Katie suggests that there is some truth to Julianne's idea - no guy is perfect so, instead of being picky, why not settle for what's in front of you.
"Forget Mr Right, give Mr Right Here a chance," suggests Erica, which Katie praises for its wit. She suggests Erica should write the book, but Erica replies that she is more of a "fiction gal" and Katie proposes a toast "to each their own."
Coming out of the elevator into Erica's office, they agree how glad they are to have done lunch and Katie, who is catching a late flight, suggests that, along with Judith, they meet up for dinner. Erica is enthusiastic and tells her they can go to hers and order in.
Julianne then comes out of her office and asks to speak to Katie for a minute, then instructs Erica to bring them each a latte.
Erica enters with the coffees to find them discussing The None. Julianne asks Katie what the tag line would be and, to Erica's surprise, Katie repeats word-for-word her witty line from earlier.
She continues, telling the story of a woman in her 30s with a series of failed relationships and, although ambitious, not getting anywhere with her career. Erica listens to this, disturbed that Katie seems to be telling her life story.
Katie then describes that the woman met a perfect guy but, because she had brought into some kind of Hollywood ideal of romance, she had ended it with him. She suggests framing it as a conversation between two female friends - one single, one married - having a glass of wine at lunch.
Erica is sitting at her desk, anxiously twiddling with her pen, as Katie finishes up her meeting with Julianne by exchanging cards. Katie leaves her office and tells Erica that she thinks Julianne liked her take. Erica is surprised to hear Katie describing it as "her take."
Katie then apologises for how "weird" it was to have Erica bring her a latte, although she comments that this is her job. Erica decides to challenge Katie, and says that she used her words. Katie admits to having done so, telling Erica she has great instincts and that her life story makes a great hook.
She thanks Erica, saying she's always wanted to write a book. Unimpressed, Erica replies that she knows the feeling. Katie reminds Erica that she is still going to do her "fiction thing," and, after checking their dinner plans still stand, she goes, leaving Erica annoyed.
Julianne then invites Erica into her office. She compliments her for pitching The None to Katie and then offers Erica the job of junior editor. Erica doesn't know what to say to this, but Julianne tells her she has a "best-selling" feeling, before noticing Erica doesn't seem as enthusiastic.
Erica admits that she doesn't know if Katie is the right person to write the book, telling Julianne that she fed her the line about "Mr Right Here" during lunch, and that Katie is basically writing her life story.
Julianne suggests she's writing a lot of people's lives, but Erica insists Katie doesn't understand it because she's never lived it. Erica hesitates when Julianne asks her who she thinks should write the book instead.
Then, picking up her phone, Julianne mocks the idea that Erica could write the book - pretending to call Brent and enquiring if he has an "extra reality check laying around."
She tells Erica that she knows it must be hard staring down 40 and finally wanting to make something of her life, then derides her for spending her 20s "playing" while Katie "worked her ass off." Julianne says that, for those who worked hard and were focused, there's a reward.
Erica listens to this scolding silently, and Julianne informs her that junior editor is her final offer. Angry, Erica says she won't edit a single word that Katie writes and Julianne tells her she has just committed career suicide.
She instructs Erica to, instead, fetch her every manuscript from last year and Erica leaves her office. However, when she pushes the door to the file room she founds herself entering Dr. Tom's office.
He congratulates her as she walks in, referring to her as junior editor. Erica can only shriek that she hates Katie, expressing her disbelief that she is going to be paid for writing about her. Dr. Tom chuckles and reminds Erica that it was her idea. Erica tells him she was only joking.
"A man has two reasons for doing anything - a good reason and the real one," he quotes, before asking Erica what's really eating her. Pacing around the room, Erica rants that it's Katie, who she describes as self-involved, overpaid, and "an anecdote-sucking vampire."
Erica concedes that's not the answer Dr. Tom was looking for, but that's how she feels around her. He asks her how that is, and, sitting down, she tells him defensive, irrational, and worthless.
Dr. Tom shows Erica her list of regrets, and points to one asking her to tell him about "Casa Loma." Erica tells him it's where Katie and her worked giving tours whilst at high school. She also informs him that she met Judith there after Katie introduced them.
She explains her regret was Katie being fired for something that wasn't entirely her own fault. Erica tells him that they had been planning a Halloween party at her house because her parents were going to be in Buffalo on a shopping trip.
However, when they found out about the party and cancelled their trip, Katie had suggested holding the party after hours in Casa Loma instead. Erica says she used the keys her boss had given to lock up to get in, and the party had gone great until Katie took off with a guy upstairs and the lights had alerted the cops.
Erica says the next day Katie was blamed for everything and fired on the spot - and refused to sell out Erica even though she could have. Erica bemoans not taking her share of the blame and tells Dr. Tom hers and Katie's friendship has never been the same since.
While she concedes that she will never know if it made a difference, she still wonders. Erica, who has returned to pacing around on her feet, says she is angry that Katie has spend the last 15 years getting back at her for that mistake though.
She laments that she doesn't understand why Katie hates her so much. Dr. Tom then asks her what she will do when she returns, and Erica explains she won't have the party at Casa Loma - preventing Katie from ever getting fired and hoping that would make the difference.
Suddenly, she is transported back and finds herself in the entrance to her parents' house. The the chair she was resting her hands on has also transformed into a case of beer which, in her shock, she drops.
Hearing this, her parents come out of the kitchen to see the beer and an embarrassed Erica. They then grill Erica, and she apologises. Barbara tells her that, seeing as they can't trust her to act maturely when they're away, they will now not be going to Buffalo.
Erica makes a half-hearted groan, although she is secretly happy, and she pretends to be annoyed when Gary informs her she won't be allowed to have a Halloween party. Barbara tells Erica she will be spending Halloween at home, although she agrees to Erica's request to have a few friends over as long as there are no boys.
Leo then appears, and offers Erica a lift to work which she accepts. She goes to get changed, but, so giddy to see him, can't stop smiling at Leo - which her brother finds confusing.
Erica walks into Casa Loma, with Katie and Judith just behind her. Katie then introduces Erica to Judith - who is starting her first day. Judith is surprised that Erica knows where she used to work when Erica jokes that she couldn't take it at the GAP, but she quickly explains Katie told her.
Katie tells Erica that Judith is coming to the Halloween party, but Erica breaks the news about her parents finding out and that the party being cancelled. Their conversation is interrupted when their boss, Addison, enters and hands them their shift schedules.
He then scolds Katie for eating her lunch at Sir Henry's table last week, despite her defence that it was too cold in the lounge. He tells Katie she doesn't take working in the building as the sacred trust it is.
Turning to Judith, he informs her that, due to Katie's lapses in judgment, she will be shown the ropes by Erica instead. Much to her pleasure, he then refers to Erica as their best tour guide.
Addison then takes Erica aside for a moment to inform her of a jousting event in Hamilton he is taking part in later in the evening. He invites Erica who, despite her flirtatious behaviour, says they will be celebrating Halloween. As he will not be there though, he gives her the keys to the building so she can lock up.
Erica then goes upstairs with Judith to show her around, leaving Katie alone - after Addison informs her, much to Katie's amusement, that she be spending the day "polishing knobs."
Upstairs, Erica and Judith show a tour party around, with Erica passing off her failure to remember the key information about Casa Loma as a way of testing the "new girl." She then shows the tourists a secret passageway in the wall, which they enter leaving Erica and Judith alone.
Katie then comes running up telling them she has had a brainwave and suggests that they should hold the party at Casa Loma. Erica is unsure, and Katie tries to convince her that everyone will be really careful.
Erica tries to persuade them against the idea though, suggesting it is too dangerous and, if Addison was to find out, they would get fired. Katie and Judith look disappointed and Erica's alternative suggestion of watching scary movies and handing out candy to kids fails to enthuse them.
That evening at Erica's house, the three of them plus Jenny - all in fancy dress - are sitting watching a video with Erica's parents. Jenny bemoans the fact that even Sam has cooler plans for Halloween than they do.
Just then, there's a ring at the door and, much to her annoyance, Barbara answers it to find Zach and his friends coming in. Erica is surprised to see them, but Katie is keen for Zach to remain.
He checks they have heard of River Phoenix's death and invites them to accompany him and his friends to a candelight vigil being held at High Park. Erica tells him they can't as they're on candy duty but, showing off his cell phone, he gives Erica his number and tells her to call him when they're off duty.
Jenny takes the opportunity to leave, describing how much she loved River Phoenix, but Erica manages to convince Judith and Katie to stay - explaining her parents will soon go to bed.
Now sitting in the kitchen, Barbara suggests that they crack open the ouija board, remembering how Erica and Katie used to love playing with it when they were little. At this point, Leo, also dressed up, enters and suggests that was when the girls were aged seven.
He then asks Erica what she is dressed up. She explains that she is Madonna from Like A Virgin, and Leo jokes that she won't remain one dressed like that this evening. Barbara takes this as her cue to go to bed, leaving them alone in the kitchen.
Judith then informs Leo that Erica has no plans to go out tonight, which he describes as "crazy talk." Erica suggests there's no need to go out when there's so many great things to do at home, but Katie reiterates her idea of partying at Casa Loma, telling Leo that Erica has the keys.
He's excited by this idea, and they all try and pressurise Erica into agreeing to it. Katie pleads with Erica that it will be fine, and Leo assures her that it will because she'll be with her big brother. Pleased with the idea of spending the evening with Leo, she relents.
Walking in, Erica instructs everyone to be on guard, telling them to stay away from the windows, and not to go outside or upstairs. She makes a special plea to Katie not to light any candles, although Katie is confused why she is being singled out.
The party is in full swing, with Erica and Katie enjoying themselves. Jenny has also turned up and Judith comes over and suggests Erica is the best host in the world. Katie tries to remind everyone it was her idea, but nobody hears her.
Leo then approaches and squeezes the fluffy tail on Katie's bunny rabbit costume. Erica disapproves of this, but he replies that if loving his sister's friends is wrong, he doesn't want to be right.
Erica then notices that Zach has turned up, and tries to move everyone away from him. Jenny reminds Erica that she has wanted him for years though and tells her this could be her chance. Erica isn't keen but, when Katie volunteers to dance with him instead, she agrees to.
Katie looks disappointed as Erica goes over to Zach who gets the DJ to put on a mixed tape he has made. They dance to it and Jenny and Judith join in as Katie watches on alone.
Leo comes over to stand beside her, pointing out that her tail is starting to come loose. He then compliments her on her idea to have the party here, which she appreciates.
After the party has finished, Erica and Judith are clearing up the mess. Erica is conscious that they need to finish quickly, and Judith asks where Katie is. Erica suddenly realises where Katie is and runs upstairs.
Using a flashlight, she wanders the dark hallways upstairs calling Katie's name. She then spots an open door and walks into a bedroom to find Katie on top of Leo having sex. Erica is stunned and accuses Katie of going after her brother because she couldn't have Zach.
Katie quickly leaves and Erica questions Leo as to what he was doing. He presumes she is angry about him being with her best friend, but Erica describes Katie as a nightmare and tells him she is a "taker" and "user."
Leo asks Erica what her problem is - suggesting she gives Katie a break, consdering she has been her "sidekick" for a decade. Erica refutes this suggestion, but Leo says that Katie is practically her shadow.
He reminds Erica that when they were little and played make believe, it was always her who was the princess and Katie the lady in waiting. Erica tries to protest that Katie preferred this, but he tells her she has been bossing Katie around since the second grade.
Leo concludes that because Erica has more friends, is better at school, and guys like her too, it's no surprise that Katie is jealous of her. Erica is left reeling at this thought.
She walks out of Casa Loma by herself but turns around as she hears a man's voice. It is Dr. Tom, dressed up himself as Sigmund Freud, who tells her, in an Austrian accent: "Being entirely honest with oneself is a worthwhile exercise."
Erica confesses that she's lost and has no idea what will happen tomorrow or what to do about Katie. She can't understand, if Katie is jealous of her, why she hasn't said anything.
Dr. Tom tells her that jealousy is the great taboo emotion of their time. He explains that Freud was all about uncovering feelings that people had but couldn't talk about - namely sex in his day. He says now it's envy that people refuse to talk about or admit, even to themselves.
She asks him what she should do, how to make somebody not jealous or even bring up the topic for discussion. Dr. Tom tells her it is an excellent question, asking Erica herself "how do you?" He then walks away, with Erica telling him that, sometimes, he's incredibly unhelpful - which he takes as a compliment.
The following day, Erica is making her way into work and discovers from Judith that Addison has called a meeting for the end of the day. Erica doesn't believe that he could know about the party as they "didn't leave a trace," but Judith says he's in a terrible mood.
She then tries to grab a word with Katie - who seems reluctant to discuss last night's events. Erica admits that she crossed the line, but Katie refutes that there's even a line with Erica and that she just does whatever she wants.
Erica insists that Leo is vulnerable and that Zach isn't a catch, so Katie has no reason to envy her. Katie can't believe Erica thinks she got with Leo because she was jealous, and calls Erica "unbeliavable" before walking away.
At the end of the day, all the staff are lined up and Addison walks past them - saying he fears there was "a breach of the castle walls last night" and that it was clear to him who the culprit was.
He looks at Katie, and suggests she must have stolen the keys from Erica to break in. Katie insists she didn't steal anything, but Addison claims she continually flouts the responsibility and diginity that comes with her job.
At that moment, Erica steps forward and tells him it was her fault - and explains she used the keys so they could have a Halloween party. Erica suggests that Addison fire her instead. However, he tells Erica there was a word in the Middle Ages for her, "chivalrous," although he fails to understand why she is defending Katie.
Erica persists, stating Katie hasn't done anything wrong, but Addison refuses to listen, suggesting instead that Katie could learn from Erica's behaviour in the future. He then produces the fluffy tail from Katie's costume, asking her if she recognises it, before firing her.
Katie, stunned, walks away and Erica has to run to catch up with her just before she leaves the building. Erica tries to console her, but Katie bemoans that, when Erica is around, nobody ever sees her. Erica denies this, but Katie points to what happened with Addison and says Judith only wants be friends with Erica now.
Erica asks Katie what she can do, and she suggests Erica can stop making her feel worthless. She also explains that she got with Leo at the party because he was the only person there who could see her, but to Erica that just made her a "jealous slut." She walks out of the door - saying she doesn't care anymore.
Speechless, Erica tries to follow Katie, but when she pushes the door she finds herself back in the present day tripping back through the door from the file room - spilling paper all over the floor.
Brent comes over to help her, advising Erica about how long it took for him to get credit on a book and how some people are desperate just to edit a memo of Julianne's. Erica asks him what she should do, but he replies that he doesn't know, and leaves Erica to work it out herself.
Erica enters Julianne's office and sets down the files on her desk. Julianne then instructs her to fetch her her lunch. Erica stays though, and says that she overreacted earlier.
She explains to Julianne about her history with Katie, who she says felt she was in Erica's shadow and now does things to get back at her. Erica says she always ends up taking the bait, but insists she won't do that anymore.
Julianne can't believe Erica thinks Katie is in her shadow and tells Erica she will "break it down" for her. She compares Erica and Katie's lives, reminding Erica she is a single assistant compared to Katie being a star columnist and married. She concludes that it's Erica, not Katie, who is the jealous one.
She tells Erica that if she wants to even press spellcheck on The None then she must get over her issues with Katie, and Erica leaves.
That evening, Erica is pouring herself a glass of wine as Judith decides what take out to order. Anxious, Erica drinks her glass all in one. Katie then knocks on the door and enters, carrying her luggage ready for her late flight.
She senses that something is up with Erica, although Judith hasn't realised. Erica asks Judith whether she can talk to Katie alone. She has trouble trying to find the words, and Katie informs her that Erica's behaviour is making her nervous, and asks if it's because of something she's done.
Erica says it isn't, and tells Katie it is about the book, their friendship, and she admits the fact that, for the past couple of years, she has been eaten alive by jealousy. Katie is shocked, and Judith suggests she waits outside in the corridor, but Erica asks her to remain and listen.
She continues by saying she has realised her insane jealousy is misplaced, as she doesn't want Katie's life. Katie doesn't know how to take this comment, but Erica explains that she doesn't want to be jealous anymore and that it's really hard for her to admit her jealousy.
Meanwhile, Judith begins to feel pain in her stomach and tries to alert Katie and Erica, but they are too engrossed in their conversation. Erica tells Katie that it's not that she's angry with her or hurt, and Katie understands that's it's not something you usually admit, with Erica adding "even to yourself."
Judith stands up, telling them she feels really weird and then her water breaks, leaving Erica and Katie stunned.
Anthony arrives and Judith gets in the car to go to the hospital. Erica hands Anthony a bag and they speed off, leaving Erica and Katie on the sidewalk. Katie notes that Anthony is barely holding it together, and Erica jokes that nobody is perfect, although Katie concedes Anthony almost is.
Erica suggests that Katie is wrong about Mr Right, pointing to the fact that neither her or Judith settled with their husbands. She says Katie has always been madly in love with her husband, Brian, with Katie admitting it helped them get through the bumpy bits of marriage - only for them to fall even more in love through their hard work.
Hearing this, Erica concludes that The None should be about how no one is perfect, whether single or married, and how everyone has to work at it. She says Katie should be the one to write it.
Katie admits that she is scared she's not a good enough writer to write a whole book, telling Erica about her fantastic "fiction nut" editor at the Globe. Erica reassures Katie, saying her column is the first thing she looks for in the weekend paper - and not to just see whether she is in it, she jokes.
She also informs Katie that Julianne offered her junior editor on the book and says Katie shouldn't be scared as she will have her back. They say goodbye and Katie gets into a cab that has pulled up to take her to the airport and leaves. Erica narrates:
"Feelings. So often we fool ourselves into thinking we can control them until one day we're ambushed, caught off guard by rage or jealousy or... love, and we're forced to face the truth."
Inside, Erica walks back towards her apartment, and notices that Ethan, who is sitting on the couch reading, has left the door to his apartment open. She pops her head around the door to say hello and he asks her in to watch a movie.
Erica rejects his invitation though, and Ethan, walking up to her, tells Erica he feels like he's losing her. She assures him he isn't and that their friendship is still there, somewhere, and says she will her way back to it.
She tells Ethan she will need some time, and he asks her what he can do. She says there's nothing he can do other than wait for her to be ready. Ethan raises the possibility of her never being ready, which Erica doesn't know how to respond to.
"The truth is this, you can't control how you feel. Only what you do about it."
Ethan closes the door.
Episode Guide
Erica is cautiously, stealthily making her way out of her apartment, as not to make a noise to alert Ethan.
"Have you ever had a feeling that's like an unwelcome guest? It invades your mind and, no matter how hard you deny, misdirect, or avoid it, you can't make it go away?"
She peers down the corridor and sees Ethan's apartment door is closed and begins to quietly walk down the hallway.
"You tell yourself you can control it, but the truth is it's never that easy. Deciding not to do something - that's easy. But deciding not to feel something? A whole other ball game."
Her attention is drawn to a piece of mail on a table she passes - which she picks up to take a look at. In her attempt to put it back though, she ends up dropping it on the floor - which make a noise.
She tries to creep past Ethan's door, hoping he hasn't heard this, but he suddenly opens the door and Erica realises she has no choice but to stop and say hello. She tells him that she has be going though, or else she will be late.
Ethan offers to walk her down and tells Erica she can't keep avoiding him as she has been doing. Erica insists she's been busy, however, he replies he's been texting her and knocking on the wall. He tells her she won't get rid of him that easily.
Erica swears that she will call him tomorrow, but says she has to go or else she'll be late for the movie she's going to see. Ethan replies that he'd love to go, grabs his coat, and joins Erica - who doesn't look pleased.
Walking to the movie theatre, Erica is talking about Judith wanting to watch a sci-fi film about aliens coming out of people, which she attributes to the fact Judith is pregnant. She then goes on to explain her dislike of sci-fi films barring The Matrix.
Realising what she is doing, Ethan tells her she hasn't stopped talking since they left the apartment building. He tells her they are going to be at the movies in a minute and they still haven't discussed "what happened."
Erica tells him she doesn't want to discuss it and finds it embarrassing. She says she's fine with him not feeling the same way as her, but can't just stop feeling the way she does. Ethan asks if their friendship is over, but Erica assures him it isn't and they agree to figure out a way to get past it.
They arrive outside the movie theatre where waiting for them are both Judith and Katie - who Erica explains to Ethan is in town for a couple of days covering the Giller Prize for her newspaper column.
Katie greets Erica, saying she looks amazing and asks if she's lost weight. Taken aback, Erica replies that she hasn't. Turning to Ethan, Katie recalls that the last time she saw him, at the school reunion, he was pretending to be Erica's boyfriend. Erica looks embarrassed, but Katie jokes that she was pretending to be a total bitch.
They make their way into the theatre, with Judith and Erica queueing for popcorn and drinks while Katie and Ethan save seats.
Judith, who is heavily pregnant, is bemoaning the size of the drinks and how being pregnant is affecting her bladder. However, Erica is too busy ranting about Katie to listen. She says that Katie is probably pumping Ethan for information about any idiotic things she has done lately.
Annoyed, Judith tells Erica she has been fighting with Katie for years and suggests she just lets it go. Erica responds that Katie is the one who needs to let it go - telling of Katie writing in her column that Erica had "peaked in high school."
Judith says she didn't mention her name, but Erica reminds her Katie wrote about a 32-year-old assistant called 'Merica Grange' who brought a fake boyfriend to the reunion, and challenges what part of 'Merica' Judith was when she tells Erica that Katie writes about everyone.
Irritated, Judith snaps at Erica and explains how her back is killing her and bemoans, loudly, that in three weeks time she will be "pushing something the size of a football out of her vagina."
She tells Erica she just wants to spend today eating popcorn, watching a movie, and having fun with her friends before her life changes forever. Erica understands, and Judith consoles her that she was Lisa Coles in Katie's column - the pregnant woman who's terrified of kids.
Erica and Judith find Katie and Ethan sitting in the theatre talking about her career. Ethan asks her where she gets her ideas. Katie says that can often be the hardest part, and turns to Judith and Erica explaining that sometimes she has to really search until she hits on the right story.
She says it can be a slog, and Erica replies sarcastically that it sounds really tough. Katie senses her tone and tries to change the subject away from her. She asks Erica and Ethan if they're just still friends or whether they are now 'friends with benefits?'
Erica looks unhappy at this question, and Ethan tries to steer the conversation back to Katie's career. Meanwhile, Judith is in pain and trying to make it known to the others who continue to talk over here.
Katie understands that their love life is none of her business, but tells Erica she was genuinely happy for them at the reunion and laughs as she says she thinks they make the "cutest couple ever." Riled, Erica asks Katie why everything in her life is a joke to her.
The lights go out as the movie gets ready to begin. Judith tells Erica and Katie to stop arguing, but they continue, with Katie accusing Erica of being over-sensitive to her teasing. Erica responds that she's not the one with the problem.
Judith is now very uncomfortable and needs to go to the bathroom, but Erica - who blocks her way to the aisle - isn't listening. She tells Katie that she can't stop rubbing it in or leave her alone. Judith stands up to try and go the washroom but it's too late and she ends up peeing herself.
Back at Erica's apartment, Judith has borrowed a pair of Erica's pants and Erica apologises, explaining that every time she's around Katie she becomes a different person. She says seeing Katie gives her a tight feeling in her chest and makes her angry - and bemoans not being able to decide to stop caring.
Judith smiles at this, recalling that it was Katie who introduced the pair of them and is the reason they are friends. Erica states that she and Katie used to spend every second together and she is the only friend she's had since she was five.
Now, she laments, she can't even be in the same room with Katie for less than a minute without wanting to rip her head off. Judith enquires as to what has changed between them, but Erica confesses that she doesn't know.
She then has an idea and asks to borrow Judith's cell phone. Erica calls Katie, who is walking through the city, and answers - thinking she is speaking to Judith. Katie begins to rant about how Erica had been acting like a "psycho" and she thought she was going to rip her head off.
Much to Katie's shock, Erica then informs her that it's she who Katie is actually speaking to, but tells her she hasn't called to fight but to talk about what a psycho she has been. Katie tells her she is only in town for a few days and not to worry about it.
However, Erica says she does worry and they both agree the fight was awful. Erica suggests that they give things another try or cut their losses and asks Katie to have lunch with her tomorrow so they can talk. Katie agrees and they arrange to meet at noon before hanging up. Judith tells Erica it will either work out or not, but Erica has given it another shot.
The next day, Erica is staring at the clock on the wall as it gets ever closer to midday. Brent walks by and notices this, and breaks her stare by suggesting there's a gunfight approaching - "something going down at high noon."
Erica tells him she's just waiting for lunch and, at that moment, Katie walks out of the elevator doors into the office. Brent is amazed to see a "star" in the building and even more surprised when Erica goes over to greet her.
Julianne also wanders out of her office at this sight, and Brent requests Katie signs a copy of her column. Julianne introduces herself to Katie as a "huge, huge fan," saying her writing style reminds her of River Rock's best seller.
Erica jumps in when she realises Katie isn't able to finish Julianne's sentence, as she had been expecting. She lies that her and Katie are always talking about The Secret Of Now, and Katie chips in that it is a "profound read."
Pleased, Julianne suggests they go out to lunch to discuss her latest brainwave, The None, but Katie says that, as this is her last day in town, she is going with Erica - one of her oldest friends. They then leave, although not before Katie has autographed Brent's newspaper.
In the restaurant, Erica and Katie reminisce about the old days, including their favourite drink as teenagers, vodka and tang. Katie then recalls the dance, where she says "she could have died" if it wasn't for Erica.
She tells Erica that they used to have one another's back, and thanks her for saving her during her earlier encounter with Julianne. Erica then explains that Katie hit a nerve yesterday and she overreacted and they both apologise.
Katie asks her why Ethan is a nerve, but Erica explains that it is her love life in general. Katie recalls Jenny telling her about Erica's break-up, and Erica admits she broke things off with Ryan. Katie is surprised and enquires what was wrong with him.
Erica tells her nothing, but that she felt something was missing. Katie warns Erica that holding out for the perfect guy is risky and she could end up alone. Katie says that everything is about compromise, and Erica replies that she sounds like Julianne when talking about the premise of The None.
Katie jokes that she should write the book, and Erica adds that she could pitch her life story as its hook. Katie suggests that there is some truth to Julianne's idea - no guy is perfect so, instead of being picky, why not settle for what's in front of you.
"Forget Mr Right, give Mr Right Here a chance," suggests Erica, which Katie praises for its wit. She suggests Erica should write the book, but Erica replies that she is more of a "fiction gal" and Katie proposes a toast "to each their own."
Coming out of the elevator into Erica's office, they agree how glad they are to have done lunch and Katie, who is catching a late flight, suggests that, along with Judith, they meet up for dinner. Erica is enthusiastic and tells her they can go to hers and order in.
Julianne then comes out of her office and asks to speak to Katie for a minute, then instructs Erica to bring them each a latte.
Erica enters with the coffees to find them discussing The None. Julianne asks Katie what the tag line would be and, to Erica's surprise, Katie repeats word-for-word her witty line from earlier.
She continues, telling the story of a woman in her 30s with a series of failed relationships and, although ambitious, not getting anywhere with her career. Erica listens to this, disturbed that Katie seems to be telling her life story.
Katie then describes that the woman met a perfect guy but, because she had brought into some kind of Hollywood ideal of romance, she had ended it with him. She suggests framing it as a conversation between two female friends - one single, one married - having a glass of wine at lunch.
Erica is sitting at her desk, anxiously twiddling with her pen, as Katie finishes up her meeting with Julianne by exchanging cards. Katie leaves her office and tells Erica that she thinks Julianne liked her take. Erica is surprised to hear Katie describing it as "her take."
Katie then apologises for how "weird" it was to have Erica bring her a latte, although she comments that this is her job. Erica decides to challenge Katie, and says that she used her words. Katie admits to having done so, telling Erica she has great instincts and that her life story makes a great hook.
She thanks Erica, saying she's always wanted to write a book. Unimpressed, Erica replies that she knows the feeling. Katie reminds Erica that she is still going to do her "fiction thing," and, after checking their dinner plans still stand, she goes, leaving Erica annoyed.
Julianne then invites Erica into her office. She compliments her for pitching The None to Katie and then offers Erica the job of junior editor. Erica doesn't know what to say to this, but Julianne tells her she has a "best-selling" feeling, before noticing Erica doesn't seem as enthusiastic.
Erica admits that she doesn't know if Katie is the right person to write the book, telling Julianne that she fed her the line about "Mr Right Here" during lunch, and that Katie is basically writing her life story.
Julianne suggests she's writing a lot of people's lives, but Erica insists Katie doesn't understand it because she's never lived it. Erica hesitates when Julianne asks her who she thinks should write the book instead.
Then, picking up her phone, Julianne mocks the idea that Erica could write the book - pretending to call Brent and enquiring if he has an "extra reality check laying around."
She tells Erica that she knows it must be hard staring down 40 and finally wanting to make something of her life, then derides her for spending her 20s "playing" while Katie "worked her ass off." Julianne says that, for those who worked hard and were focused, there's a reward.
Erica listens to this scolding silently, and Julianne informs her that junior editor is her final offer. Angry, Erica says she won't edit a single word that Katie writes and Julianne tells her she has just committed career suicide.
She instructs Erica to, instead, fetch her every manuscript from last year and Erica leaves her office. However, when she pushes the door to the file room she founds herself entering Dr. Tom's office.
He congratulates her as she walks in, referring to her as junior editor. Erica can only shriek that she hates Katie, expressing her disbelief that she is going to be paid for writing about her. Dr. Tom chuckles and reminds Erica that it was her idea. Erica tells him she was only joking.
"A man has two reasons for doing anything - a good reason and the real one," he quotes, before asking Erica what's really eating her. Pacing around the room, Erica rants that it's Katie, who she describes as self-involved, overpaid, and "an anecdote-sucking vampire."
Erica concedes that's not the answer Dr. Tom was looking for, but that's how she feels around her. He asks her how that is, and, sitting down, she tells him defensive, irrational, and worthless.
Dr. Tom shows Erica her list of regrets, and points to one asking her to tell him about "Casa Loma." Erica tells him it's where Katie and her worked giving tours whilst at high school. She also informs him that she met Judith there after Katie introduced them.
She explains her regret was Katie being fired for something that wasn't entirely her own fault. Erica tells him that they had been planning a Halloween party at her house because her parents were going to be in Buffalo on a shopping trip.
However, when they found out about the party and cancelled their trip, Katie had suggested holding the party after hours in Casa Loma instead. Erica says she used the keys her boss had given to lock up to get in, and the party had gone great until Katie took off with a guy upstairs and the lights had alerted the cops.
Erica says the next day Katie was blamed for everything and fired on the spot - and refused to sell out Erica even though she could have. Erica bemoans not taking her share of the blame and tells Dr. Tom hers and Katie's friendship has never been the same since.
While she concedes that she will never know if it made a difference, she still wonders. Erica, who has returned to pacing around on her feet, says she is angry that Katie has spend the last 15 years getting back at her for that mistake though.
She laments that she doesn't understand why Katie hates her so much. Dr. Tom then asks her what she will do when she returns, and Erica explains she won't have the party at Casa Loma - preventing Katie from ever getting fired and hoping that would make the difference.
Suddenly, she is transported back and finds herself in the entrance to her parents' house. The the chair she was resting her hands on has also transformed into a case of beer which, in her shock, she drops.
Hearing this, her parents come out of the kitchen to see the beer and an embarrassed Erica. They then grill Erica, and she apologises. Barbara tells her that, seeing as they can't trust her to act maturely when they're away, they will now not be going to Buffalo.
Erica makes a half-hearted groan, although she is secretly happy, and she pretends to be annoyed when Gary informs her she won't be allowed to have a Halloween party. Barbara tells Erica she will be spending Halloween at home, although she agrees to Erica's request to have a few friends over as long as there are no boys.
Leo then appears, and offers Erica a lift to work which she accepts. She goes to get changed, but, so giddy to see him, can't stop smiling at Leo - which her brother finds confusing.
Erica walks into Casa Loma, with Katie and Judith just behind her. Katie then introduces Erica to Judith - who is starting her first day. Judith is surprised that Erica knows where she used to work when Erica jokes that she couldn't take it at the GAP, but she quickly explains Katie told her.
Katie tells Erica that Judith is coming to the Halloween party, but Erica breaks the news about her parents finding out and that the party being cancelled. Their conversation is interrupted when their boss, Addison, enters and hands them their shift schedules.
He then scolds Katie for eating her lunch at Sir Henry's table last week, despite her defence that it was too cold in the lounge. He tells Katie she doesn't take working in the building as the sacred trust it is.
Turning to Judith, he informs her that, due to Katie's lapses in judgment, she will be shown the ropes by Erica instead. Much to her pleasure, he then refers to Erica as their best tour guide.
Addison then takes Erica aside for a moment to inform her of a jousting event in Hamilton he is taking part in later in the evening. He invites Erica who, despite her flirtatious behaviour, says they will be celebrating Halloween. As he will not be there though, he gives her the keys to the building so she can lock up.
Erica then goes upstairs with Judith to show her around, leaving Katie alone - after Addison informs her, much to Katie's amusement, that she be spending the day "polishing knobs."
Upstairs, Erica and Judith show a tour party around, with Erica passing off her failure to remember the key information about Casa Loma as a way of testing the "new girl." She then shows the tourists a secret passageway in the wall, which they enter leaving Erica and Judith alone.
Katie then comes running up telling them she has had a brainwave and suggests that they should hold the party at Casa Loma. Erica is unsure, and Katie tries to convince her that everyone will be really careful.
Erica tries to persuade them against the idea though, suggesting it is too dangerous and, if Addison was to find out, they would get fired. Katie and Judith look disappointed and Erica's alternative suggestion of watching scary movies and handing out candy to kids fails to enthuse them.
That evening at Erica's house, the three of them plus Jenny - all in fancy dress - are sitting watching a video with Erica's parents. Jenny bemoans the fact that even Sam has cooler plans for Halloween than they do.
Just then, there's a ring at the door and, much to her annoyance, Barbara answers it to find Zach and his friends coming in. Erica is surprised to see them, but Katie is keen for Zach to remain.
He checks they have heard of River Phoenix's death and invites them to accompany him and his friends to a candelight vigil being held at High Park. Erica tells him they can't as they're on candy duty but, showing off his cell phone, he gives Erica his number and tells her to call him when they're off duty.
Jenny takes the opportunity to leave, describing how much she loved River Phoenix, but Erica manages to convince Judith and Katie to stay - explaining her parents will soon go to bed.
Now sitting in the kitchen, Barbara suggests that they crack open the ouija board, remembering how Erica and Katie used to love playing with it when they were little. At this point, Leo, also dressed up, enters and suggests that was when the girls were aged seven.
He then asks Erica what she is dressed up. She explains that she is Madonna from Like A Virgin, and Leo jokes that she won't remain one dressed like that this evening. Barbara takes this as her cue to go to bed, leaving them alone in the kitchen.
Judith then informs Leo that Erica has no plans to go out tonight, which he describes as "crazy talk." Erica suggests there's no need to go out when there's so many great things to do at home, but Katie reiterates her idea of partying at Casa Loma, telling Leo that Erica has the keys.
He's excited by this idea, and they all try and pressurise Erica into agreeing to it. Katie pleads with Erica that it will be fine, and Leo assures her that it will because she'll be with her big brother. Pleased with the idea of spending the evening with Leo, she relents.
Walking in, Erica instructs everyone to be on guard, telling them to stay away from the windows, and not to go outside or upstairs. She makes a special plea to Katie not to light any candles, although Katie is confused why she is being singled out.
The party is in full swing, with Erica and Katie enjoying themselves. Jenny has also turned up and Judith comes over and suggests Erica is the best host in the world. Katie tries to remind everyone it was her idea, but nobody hears her.
Leo then approaches and squeezes the fluffy tail on Katie's bunny rabbit costume. Erica disapproves of this, but he replies that if loving his sister's friends is wrong, he doesn't want to be right.
Erica then notices that Zach has turned up, and tries to move everyone away from him. Jenny reminds Erica that she has wanted him for years though and tells her this could be her chance. Erica isn't keen but, when Katie volunteers to dance with him instead, she agrees to.
Katie looks disappointed as Erica goes over to Zach who gets the DJ to put on a mixed tape he has made. They dance to it and Jenny and Judith join in as Katie watches on alone.
Leo comes over to stand beside her, pointing out that her tail is starting to come loose. He then compliments her on her idea to have the party here, which she appreciates.
After the party has finished, Erica and Judith are clearing up the mess. Erica is conscious that they need to finish quickly, and Judith asks where Katie is. Erica suddenly realises where Katie is and runs upstairs.
Using a flashlight, she wanders the dark hallways upstairs calling Katie's name. She then spots an open door and walks into a bedroom to find Katie on top of Leo having sex. Erica is stunned and accuses Katie of going after her brother because she couldn't have Zach.
Katie quickly leaves and Erica questions Leo as to what he was doing. He presumes she is angry about him being with her best friend, but Erica describes Katie as a nightmare and tells him she is a "taker" and "user."
Leo asks Erica what her problem is - suggesting she gives Katie a break, consdering she has been her "sidekick" for a decade. Erica refutes this suggestion, but Leo says that Katie is practically her shadow.
He reminds Erica that when they were little and played make believe, it was always her who was the princess and Katie the lady in waiting. Erica tries to protest that Katie preferred this, but he tells her she has been bossing Katie around since the second grade.
Leo concludes that because Erica has more friends, is better at school, and guys like her too, it's no surprise that Katie is jealous of her. Erica is left reeling at this thought.
She walks out of Casa Loma by herself but turns around as she hears a man's voice. It is Dr. Tom, dressed up himself as Sigmund Freud, who tells her, in an Austrian accent: "Being entirely honest with oneself is a worthwhile exercise."
Erica confesses that she's lost and has no idea what will happen tomorrow or what to do about Katie. She can't understand, if Katie is jealous of her, why she hasn't said anything.
Dr. Tom tells her that jealousy is the great taboo emotion of their time. He explains that Freud was all about uncovering feelings that people had but couldn't talk about - namely sex in his day. He says now it's envy that people refuse to talk about or admit, even to themselves.
She asks him what she should do, how to make somebody not jealous or even bring up the topic for discussion. Dr. Tom tells her it is an excellent question, asking Erica herself "how do you?" He then walks away, with Erica telling him that, sometimes, he's incredibly unhelpful - which he takes as a compliment.
The following day, Erica is making her way into work and discovers from Judith that Addison has called a meeting for the end of the day. Erica doesn't believe that he could know about the party as they "didn't leave a trace," but Judith says he's in a terrible mood.
She then tries to grab a word with Katie - who seems reluctant to discuss last night's events. Erica admits that she crossed the line, but Katie refutes that there's even a line with Erica and that she just does whatever she wants.
Erica insists that Leo is vulnerable and that Zach isn't a catch, so Katie has no reason to envy her. Katie can't believe Erica thinks she got with Leo because she was jealous, and calls Erica "unbeliavable" before walking away.
At the end of the day, all the staff are lined up and Addison walks past them - saying he fears there was "a breach of the castle walls last night" and that it was clear to him who the culprit was.
He looks at Katie, and suggests she must have stolen the keys from Erica to break in. Katie insists she didn't steal anything, but Addison claims she continually flouts the responsibility and diginity that comes with her job.
At that moment, Erica steps forward and tells him it was her fault - and explains she used the keys so they could have a Halloween party. Erica suggests that Addison fire her instead. However, he tells Erica there was a word in the Middle Ages for her, "chivalrous," although he fails to understand why she is defending Katie.
Erica persists, stating Katie hasn't done anything wrong, but Addison refuses to listen, suggesting instead that Katie could learn from Erica's behaviour in the future. He then produces the fluffy tail from Katie's costume, asking her if she recognises it, before firing her.
Katie, stunned, walks away and Erica has to run to catch up with her just before she leaves the building. Erica tries to console her, but Katie bemoans that, when Erica is around, nobody ever sees her. Erica denies this, but Katie points to what happened with Addison and says Judith only wants be friends with Erica now.
Erica asks Katie what she can do, and she suggests Erica can stop making her feel worthless. She also explains that she got with Leo at the party because he was the only person there who could see her, but to Erica that just made her a "jealous slut." She walks out of the door - saying she doesn't care anymore.
Speechless, Erica tries to follow Katie, but when she pushes the door she finds herself back in the present day tripping back through the door from the file room - spilling paper all over the floor.
Brent comes over to help her, advising Erica about how long it took for him to get credit on a book and how some people are desperate just to edit a memo of Julianne's. Erica asks him what she should do, but he replies that he doesn't know, and leaves Erica to work it out herself.
Erica enters Julianne's office and sets down the files on her desk. Julianne then instructs her to fetch her her lunch. Erica stays though, and says that she overreacted earlier.
She explains to Julianne about her history with Katie, who she says felt she was in Erica's shadow and now does things to get back at her. Erica says she always ends up taking the bait, but insists she won't do that anymore.
Julianne can't believe Erica thinks Katie is in her shadow and tells Erica she will "break it down" for her. She compares Erica and Katie's lives, reminding Erica she is a single assistant compared to Katie being a star columnist and married. She concludes that it's Erica, not Katie, who is the jealous one.
She tells Erica that if she wants to even press spellcheck on The None then she must get over her issues with Katie, and Erica leaves.
That evening, Erica is pouring herself a glass of wine as Judith decides what take out to order. Anxious, Erica drinks her glass all in one. Katie then knocks on the door and enters, carrying her luggage ready for her late flight.
She senses that something is up with Erica, although Judith hasn't realised. Erica asks Judith whether she can talk to Katie alone. She has trouble trying to find the words, and Katie informs her that Erica's behaviour is making her nervous, and asks if it's because of something she's done.
Erica says it isn't, and tells Katie it is about the book, their friendship, and she admits the fact that, for the past couple of years, she has been eaten alive by jealousy. Katie is shocked, and Judith suggests she waits outside in the corridor, but Erica asks her to remain and listen.
She continues by saying she has realised her insane jealousy is misplaced, as she doesn't want Katie's life. Katie doesn't know how to take this comment, but Erica explains that she doesn't want to be jealous anymore and that it's really hard for her to admit her jealousy.
Meanwhile, Judith begins to feel pain in her stomach and tries to alert Katie and Erica, but they are too engrossed in their conversation. Erica tells Katie that it's not that she's angry with her or hurt, and Katie understands that's it's not something you usually admit, with Erica adding "even to yourself."
Judith stands up, telling them she feels really weird and then her water breaks, leaving Erica and Katie stunned.
Anthony arrives and Judith gets in the car to go to the hospital. Erica hands Anthony a bag and they speed off, leaving Erica and Katie on the sidewalk. Katie notes that Anthony is barely holding it together, and Erica jokes that nobody is perfect, although Katie concedes Anthony almost is.
Erica suggests that Katie is wrong about Mr Right, pointing to the fact that neither her or Judith settled with their husbands. She says Katie has always been madly in love with her husband, Brian, with Katie admitting it helped them get through the bumpy bits of marriage - only for them to fall even more in love through their hard work.
Hearing this, Erica concludes that The None should be about how no one is perfect, whether single or married, and how everyone has to work at it. She says Katie should be the one to write it.
Katie admits that she is scared she's not a good enough writer to write a whole book, telling Erica about her fantastic "fiction nut" editor at the Globe. Erica reassures Katie, saying her column is the first thing she looks for in the weekend paper - and not to just see whether she is in it, she jokes.
She also informs Katie that Julianne offered her junior editor on the book and says Katie shouldn't be scared as she will have her back. They say goodbye and Katie gets into a cab that has pulled up to take her to the airport and leaves. Erica narrates:
"Feelings. So often we fool ourselves into thinking we can control them until one day we're ambushed, caught off guard by rage or jealousy or... love, and we're forced to face the truth."
Inside, Erica walks back towards her apartment, and notices that Ethan, who is sitting on the couch reading, has left the door to his apartment open. She pops her head around the door to say hello and he asks her in to watch a movie.
Erica rejects his invitation though, and Ethan, walking up to her, tells Erica he feels like he's losing her. She assures him he isn't and that their friendship is still there, somewhere, and says she will her way back to it.
She tells Ethan she will need some time, and he asks her what he can do. She says there's nothing he can do other than wait for her to be ready. Ethan raises the possibility of her never being ready, which Erica doesn't know how to respond to.
"The truth is this, you can't control how you feel. Only what you do about it."
Ethan closes the door.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
All She Ever Wanted: Analysis
Season 1, Episode 9: All She Ever Wanted
Analysis
I do wonder sometimes whether, as a guy, I should be watching a show like Being Erica. I doubt it's the normal guy type show, not that I particularly care or think you should only be allowed to like certain genres.
Then again, I think if you showed guys this episode they'd be more inclined to watch future ones. Let's get it out of the way straight up: it's the lesbian kiss episode.
There, I've said it. It's girl on girl action, it's female nudity, and yeah, for guys, it's a bit of a turn on. It's two attractive young women making out. It's also, in my opinion, not something to get too worked up about.
Now, I'm no qualified expert, but I do agree with Dr. Tom - I'm not sure people are that easy to label. Straight, gay, bi, I'm not sure it's as simple as that. My own thoughts are human sexuality works more on a spectrum basis - rather than just three individual camps.
Take Erica for example, who was clearly both emotionally and physically attracted to another woman in Cassidy. However, when it came to sexual attraction, actually wanting to have sex with another woman, she couldn't go there.
It wasn't "all" so, ultimately, it was "nothing," when it came to anything more happening between them. Which was telling when Erica returned back to the present day and had to confront her relationship with Ryan.
Now, I've made it quite clear in the past that I'm no Ryan fan. I won't lie, I cheered the first time I saw him leaving the series - hopefully never to return in the future. However, you can't help but feel a little sorry for him.
It's not that Erica was being deliberately unfair to him, indeed, as she said, he was a great boyfriend in so many ways. There's that key word though "ways." As he tells her, he felt unable to compete with Ethan in any "way" that mattered to her.
He was always merely the substitute, the second prize, the replacement. We all knew Erica harboured feelings for Ethan, as much as she tried to convince him, and herself, that she didn't.
I guess it does raise the issue of whether somebody in a relationship can have a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex. It was clearly an issue for Ryan, however, I think you can.
My own personal experience was of living with a girl for two years at university and us becoming great friends, more like brother and sister than anything. There was no physical attraction and, at times, we were both in relationships that weren't compromised by our friendship.
For Erica therefore, with unresolved feelings for Ethan, her relationship with Ryan was never going to work out. Indeed, had it not been for Claire's re-emergence, would she and Ryan have even got together? I doubt it.
From her twice knocking on the wall, a Freudian slip if ever there was one, to that reliable old indicator of feelings - the streak of jealousy she exhibits over Julianne and Ethan.
Whatever the situation, whether date for a party, pretend boyfriend for school reunion, or sounding board over what to do in a tricky situation, Ethan was her go-to guy - and we know why.
That's the thing about feelings though, I guess - you can't control them. The heart wants what the heart wants, as Josh would say.
Now, much more intelligent, more enlightened, and more experienced people than me have tried to discuss and talk about love. In truth, I'm not even going to try to go into too much depth because I'm nowhere near qualified enough.
Love is scary though, and it hurts. I guess I'm no different from a lot of people, wanting to protect myself from the hurt and probably being overly cautious. You certainly wouldn't catch me falling in love after just three months like poor Ryan.
Seriously though, who does fall in love after just three months? And what guy declares so prematurely? That's like the second worst premature thing a guy can do. Call it stubbornness, but I'd never say the 'L word' before it'd been said to me, even if I was there before her.
Of course, that's exactly what Erica does in yet another heartbreaking conclusion to an episode. They're certainly good at the heart-wrenching moments, the writers. Credit to Erin, who knocks it out of the park every time with her performances.
She puts herself out there, after Dr. Tom's words about who she can give "those all important things" to. It's an interesting point actually, that while some wait to have sex with people, surely giving someone your heart is more sacred than giving someone your body?
I think so anyway, but Erica certainly lays it all out for Ethan who, maybe taking the easy and cowardly option, hides behind his "marriage" to Claire. However, we all know that he's pretty much in the same place as Erica, it's just not in his nature to be so forward.
However, she thrusts the ball well and firmly into his court. Sometimes, too, I think that's exactly what's required. Unless it comes about after a drink too many, friends taking their relationship to the next level can often be the most difficult and hard relationships to initiate.
After all, who wants to be the person to make the leap, take the jump, and risk everything. Things can never be the same again, despite what people say.
However, I do think that friendship is the best foundation for any relationship, so I guess sometimes you have to risk losing something to get everything you want.
You could argue, too, that Erica may not have been the one to jump first without her work with Dr. Tom. It's a clear sign of the more confident and determined Erica that is slowly beginning to form.
Elsewhere, after the seriousness of the previous episode, it was also nice to see a comic turn featuring Barbara, with her adoration of Jennifer Aniston.
Indeed, there were the usual funny moments - Jenny and Judith's teasing of Erica, Ethan's Y2K paranoia, and his discovery of Erica and Cassidy topless. Julianne, too, was her usual self - including the highly embarrassing moment when she realises the roses aren't for her, but Erica.
As ever, too, Erica - following on from nearly crashing a car, knocking over a Jenga tower, spilling coffee, and falling down playing Twister - has her usual comic transition.
This time, one of my own personal nightmares, breaking something in a store. It's not happened yet, but I've had close calls. One day my luck just might run out. For Erica, it's the breaking of champagne glasses.
Then again, perhaps that was appropriate in an episode full of breaking - just most notably hearts. Cassidy's, Ryan's, and finally Erica's. For a little while, anyway.
Analysis
I do wonder sometimes whether, as a guy, I should be watching a show like Being Erica. I doubt it's the normal guy type show, not that I particularly care or think you should only be allowed to like certain genres.
Then again, I think if you showed guys this episode they'd be more inclined to watch future ones. Let's get it out of the way straight up: it's the lesbian kiss episode.
There, I've said it. It's girl on girl action, it's female nudity, and yeah, for guys, it's a bit of a turn on. It's two attractive young women making out. It's also, in my opinion, not something to get too worked up about.
Now, I'm no qualified expert, but I do agree with Dr. Tom - I'm not sure people are that easy to label. Straight, gay, bi, I'm not sure it's as simple as that. My own thoughts are human sexuality works more on a spectrum basis - rather than just three individual camps.
Take Erica for example, who was clearly both emotionally and physically attracted to another woman in Cassidy. However, when it came to sexual attraction, actually wanting to have sex with another woman, she couldn't go there.
It wasn't "all" so, ultimately, it was "nothing," when it came to anything more happening between them. Which was telling when Erica returned back to the present day and had to confront her relationship with Ryan.
Now, I've made it quite clear in the past that I'm no Ryan fan. I won't lie, I cheered the first time I saw him leaving the series - hopefully never to return in the future. However, you can't help but feel a little sorry for him.
It's not that Erica was being deliberately unfair to him, indeed, as she said, he was a great boyfriend in so many ways. There's that key word though "ways." As he tells her, he felt unable to compete with Ethan in any "way" that mattered to her.
He was always merely the substitute, the second prize, the replacement. We all knew Erica harboured feelings for Ethan, as much as she tried to convince him, and herself, that she didn't.
I guess it does raise the issue of whether somebody in a relationship can have a close friendship with someone of the opposite sex. It was clearly an issue for Ryan, however, I think you can.
My own personal experience was of living with a girl for two years at university and us becoming great friends, more like brother and sister than anything. There was no physical attraction and, at times, we were both in relationships that weren't compromised by our friendship.
For Erica therefore, with unresolved feelings for Ethan, her relationship with Ryan was never going to work out. Indeed, had it not been for Claire's re-emergence, would she and Ryan have even got together? I doubt it.
From her twice knocking on the wall, a Freudian slip if ever there was one, to that reliable old indicator of feelings - the streak of jealousy she exhibits over Julianne and Ethan.
Whatever the situation, whether date for a party, pretend boyfriend for school reunion, or sounding board over what to do in a tricky situation, Ethan was her go-to guy - and we know why.
That's the thing about feelings though, I guess - you can't control them. The heart wants what the heart wants, as Josh would say.
Now, much more intelligent, more enlightened, and more experienced people than me have tried to discuss and talk about love. In truth, I'm not even going to try to go into too much depth because I'm nowhere near qualified enough.
Love is scary though, and it hurts. I guess I'm no different from a lot of people, wanting to protect myself from the hurt and probably being overly cautious. You certainly wouldn't catch me falling in love after just three months like poor Ryan.
Seriously though, who does fall in love after just three months? And what guy declares so prematurely? That's like the second worst premature thing a guy can do. Call it stubbornness, but I'd never say the 'L word' before it'd been said to me, even if I was there before her.
Of course, that's exactly what Erica does in yet another heartbreaking conclusion to an episode. They're certainly good at the heart-wrenching moments, the writers. Credit to Erin, who knocks it out of the park every time with her performances.
She puts herself out there, after Dr. Tom's words about who she can give "those all important things" to. It's an interesting point actually, that while some wait to have sex with people, surely giving someone your heart is more sacred than giving someone your body?
I think so anyway, but Erica certainly lays it all out for Ethan who, maybe taking the easy and cowardly option, hides behind his "marriage" to Claire. However, we all know that he's pretty much in the same place as Erica, it's just not in his nature to be so forward.
However, she thrusts the ball well and firmly into his court. Sometimes, too, I think that's exactly what's required. Unless it comes about after a drink too many, friends taking their relationship to the next level can often be the most difficult and hard relationships to initiate.
After all, who wants to be the person to make the leap, take the jump, and risk everything. Things can never be the same again, despite what people say.
However, I do think that friendship is the best foundation for any relationship, so I guess sometimes you have to risk losing something to get everything you want.
You could argue, too, that Erica may not have been the one to jump first without her work with Dr. Tom. It's a clear sign of the more confident and determined Erica that is slowly beginning to form.
Elsewhere, after the seriousness of the previous episode, it was also nice to see a comic turn featuring Barbara, with her adoration of Jennifer Aniston.
Indeed, there were the usual funny moments - Jenny and Judith's teasing of Erica, Ethan's Y2K paranoia, and his discovery of Erica and Cassidy topless. Julianne, too, was her usual self - including the highly embarrassing moment when she realises the roses aren't for her, but Erica.
As ever, too, Erica - following on from nearly crashing a car, knocking over a Jenga tower, spilling coffee, and falling down playing Twister - has her usual comic transition.
This time, one of my own personal nightmares, breaking something in a store. It's not happened yet, but I've had close calls. One day my luck just might run out. For Erica, it's the breaking of champagne glasses.
Then again, perhaps that was appropriate in an episode full of breaking - just most notably hearts. Cassidy's, Ryan's, and finally Erica's. For a little while, anyway.
All She Ever Wanted
Season 1, Episode 9: All She Ever Wanted
Episode Guide
Erica is at work, sorting out some paperwork ahead of a staff meeting. Brent comes up and notices that she has failed to 'bold' the title - warning her that today of all days is not the time to have made such a mistake.
She doesn't seem perturbed by this, but then he points to Julianne entering the office wearing dark sunglasses - and he informs Erica that Julianne has been dumped by her boyfriend, Jackson. She narrates:
"Remember that song, 'Lovers In A Dangerous Time'? Whenever I listen to it, I think being in love is always dangerous."
Julianne is chairing the meeting and discussing plans for Frank Galvin's 50th anniversary party on Friday. She then notices that Erica has failed to bold the title on the paperwork, suggesting it looks like Frank's party isn't important and Erica apologises.
Then a delivery man enters carrying a box of roses and hands it to Julianne. Believing they are from Jackson, she suggests that somebody must be feeling guilty but, when she opens the box and reads the card, she discovers they are for Erica - from Ryan.
That evening, Erica and Ryan are making out on the couch in her apartment and he reveals to her he has made creme brulee for dessert. Erica is delighted to hear this and they go into the kitchen so Ryan can finish the desserts off with a blowtorch.
They then hear a knock on the wall, which Erica explains is part of a code with Ethan from college days. One knock back indicates that they are indisposed, two means comes over. Without thinking, and to Ryan's surprise, Erica knocks back twice.
Ethan opens the door and is confused to see Ryan there. Erica explains that she accidentally knocked twice and he leaves, saying they can watch the DVD he has brought over another time. Erica explains to Ryan about her and Ethan's regular Thursday movie night. Ryan suggests this is like a date.
Erica then asks him why he is pulling out all the stops tonight, suggesting it's because he's feeling guilty about flying away tomorrow and leaving her dateless for Frank's party. Ryan reveals that it's actually because it's three months since he and Erica first met.
She is surprised to discover this, and he tells her that he only makes creme brulee for those he loves. Erica is speechless at this declaration, and can only manage to stutter a reply about how love is a "very serious emotion."
He apologises for putting her on the spot and tells her it's fine if she's not at the same stage yet. He then feeds her some of the creme brulee.
"Love. It's the biggest risk we take, and the most enduring mystery - why we feel so powerfully for one person and not another."
The next evening, Erica is getting ready to go out to Frank's party when Jenny arrives with the dress Erica is borrowing from her for the party. Erica pours them both a glass of wine and Jenny asks where Ryan is.
Erica informs her he has been in Chicago and is now moving onto Vancouver, but tells Jenny that, before he left, he told her he loved her. Jenny is surprised that somebody can fall in love after just three months.
She then tells Jenny how bad she feels about her reply to him, explaining that Ryan is a great boyfriend in so many ways. Jenny tells her she is talking to the wrong girl about love and Ethan then arrives as Erica's date for the evening.
Jenny leaves to attend her yoga class, and Erica - getting ready in her bedroom - shouts to Ethan how grateful she is for him coming with her, warning him that the party will be high brow. He says, having been married to Claire for eight years, he's used to such events.
Erica then comes out of her bedroom and asks Ethan to help do up the zip on the back of her dress. He is taken aback by how great she looks and they share a moment as he rests his hands on her back having zipped her up.
She pulls away and asks him how things with Claire are going. Ethan admits things are "challenging" and then tells Erica how good she looks before they leave the apartment.
Erica and Ethan arrive at the party and are soon approached by Julianne, who wants to know who Erica's "mystery man" is. He goes to get them some drinks, with a flirtatious Julianne requesting a "dirty martini."
While he's gone she asks Erica whether Ethan is single, and Erica admits he is separated from his wife.
Later, Erica and Brent are watching from a distance as Julianne talks and flirts with Ethan, including touching him 25 times. Erica then notices that Ryan has emerged from the elevator and is shocked to see him there.
He tells her that, waiting for his flight at the airport, he had decided he had somewhere more important to be and had flown back to Toronto. Ryan then looks around and is surprised to see Ethan present.
Erica says that she brought him along as she couldn't face all the small talk by herself. She then takes Ryan to introduce him to people, joking that she will have to explain why she has "two dates."
A while later, Ryan is washing his hands in the men's washroom when Ethan comes in and quickly closes the door. He tells him he is hiding from Julianne, who Ethan describes as "unstoppable."
Ryan comments that she is a "babe" - but asks Ethan not to inform Erica of this opinion. Ethan says he wouldn't, but Ryan challenges this, reminding him he is Erica's best friend. Curious, Ethan asks him what Ryan thinks they get up to when they hang out.
He jokes that they watch re-runs of Sex And The City, drink tea, and discuss feelings. Ethan admits that his friendship with Erica has always been a thorny issue with Claire, with Ryan suggesting it's because her three main topics of conversations are "books, books, and Ethan."
Ethan looks unimpressed, and Ryan says he knows they're just friends, but enquires as to whether anything has ever happened between Ethan and Erica. When Ethan insists nothing has, Ryan finds it hard to believe that in 15 years they have always remained just friends.
However, Ethan informs him he has always either been going out with, or married to, Claire. When Ryan suggests that something would have happened between him and Erica if Claire hadn't been in the picture though, Ethan struggles to respond.
He is saved by Julianne coming through the door, commenting that she is either paranoid or Ethan is avoiding her. Ethan says he is just washing his hands and goes back to the party, leaving Ryan to reflect on their conversation.
Frank is giving a speech as everyone watches on and listens. Erica's attention is distracted by the way Julianne is all over an uncomfortable Ethan though, which she describes as "insane" and like Julianne is "on heat." Ryan fails to see why this bothers Erica, reminding her that Ethan is separated.
Erica insists she wants Ethan to move on, but that Julianne has all of Claire's worst qualities "minus the cute accent." Irritated, Ryan tells Erica it's none of her business. As Julianne continues, Erica snaps and goes to walk over to Julianne.
However, Ryan catches her arm as she's leaving to try and stop her. Erica is angry and tells him to let go of her and demands to know what he's doing. Wanting to avoid a public confrontation, Ryan leads Erica into the elevator so they can talk.
Ryan tells her he needs to know whether Erica is concerned about Ethan or just jealous. Erica can't believe this, but he tells her Ethan is always walking into her apartment and the two of them have their "date night."
Erica protests, but he says she always talks about him and, while he realises she has known him for longer, he has gone from the point of understanding to being jealous. Erica responds that she doesn't know what to do about Ryan's jealousy.
However, he suggests she considers it from his point of view that, after telling her that he loves her and her not reciprocating, he has returned to find her dressed up looking gorgeous for another guy.
Erica insists Ethan is there as her friend and, when Ryan asks why she couldn't have told him before, says she shouldn't have to vet her social life by him when he is on the other side of the country.
Ryan admits that he feels he can't compete with Ethan in any way that matters to Erica, but she is adamant she has no feelings for Ethan. Persuaded, Ryan suggests that Erica must think him a freak.
Erica apologises for not telling him that she was coming with Ethan though, and they kiss and make up. Ryan then opens the elevators door and heads back in the party. Erica lingers for a few seconds in the elevator. The doors then begin to close, but she manages to stop them shutting.
However, when she pulls them back open she finds herself entering Dr. Tom's office - exclaiming "Thank God" in her relief. Dr. Tom jokes that he doesn't know whether to be flattered or perturbed by her comment, but Erica tells him she just needs a little time out.
He says that she lied to Ryan, which Erica admits, but she suggests that telling him about a kiss that led absolutely nowhere would have done no good. Dr. Tom challenges her that asking, if it led absolutely nowhere, what harm would it have done to tell Ryan about it.
Erica is sure it would have and asks Dr. Tom to imagine he is Ryan - on top of her not being able to say she loved him finding out that she had kissed Ethan. He admits that it could cause some jealousy but that, in the end, it's better to tell the truth.
She agrees, but suggests she is in a tricky position at the beginning of a relationship. Dr. Tom reminds her that Ryan was able to bare his heart and soul and profess his love for her. Erica doesn't know what to say to this.
He then asks her to tell him about Cassidy Holland. Erica is confused, wondering what Cassidy has to do with any of her current problems, saying that their relationship was totally different. Dr. Tom suggests she enlightens him and she explains that Cassidy was the most amazing woman she'd ever met.
She had lived in the next door apartment in 1999 whilst Erica had been doing her masters, and they soon became inseparable and best friends. She admits that, in some ways, she had a crush on Cassidy - but not completely, as Cassidy was gay.
Erica had figured out that Cassidy liked her and the pair had chemistry. However, Cassidy had misread this one evening and, after Erica had insisted she could never "go there" in the way Cassidy wanted her to, they never spoke again afterwards.
Dr. Tom suggests because Erica didn't share her feelings, but Erica says it was because she had crushed Cassidy's feelings and that she had just pushed her out of her mind during a New Year's Eve party for Y2K. Cassidy had then gone overseas a few months later and she never saw her again.
She says if she went back, she would be honest with Cassidy - telling her she is straight, dealing with her expectations before anything happened, and saving their friendship. Dr. Tom suggests some friendships do just come and go, but Erica says what Cassidy and her had was one step short of a love affair.
Erica tells him she believes she lost a bit of her heart and soul when Cassidy walked out of her life. He suggests that she goes back and finds them both, and Erica begins to spin around until she is back in 1999.
In her shock, she knocks over a pyramid of champagne glasses in the shop she is in. Erica apologises profusely to the shop assistant and goes to pay for the damage. However, her credit card is rejected and she is unable to pay on her debit card either.
At that moment, Cassidy walks into the shop and offers to pay for Erica, telling her to thank the student loans company. Erica is delighted to see Cassidy, who jokes to the shop assistant that the last time she paid C$500 for crystal, she had given her a lap dance first.
Back at Erica's apartment, her and Cassidy open a bottle of wine as they get ready to paint a banner for the New Year's Eve party. Erica jokes that Cassidy's idea of painting apocalyptic images for Y2K is "very Dante," with Cassidy branding Erica a "lit nerd."
She then leans over to get some paint and Erica, who is noticably a little uncomfortable, moves out of her way. Cassidy spots this and pesters Erica to tell her why she's so stressed. Erica denies she is, but Cassidy says she can tell when she is lying.
Cassidy then asks Erica to close her eyes, which she eventually agrees to. She proceeds to get some paint on her brush and gently runs it up Erica's forearm - making her shiver at the sensation.
She explains that, as children, her and a friend would paint on one another. Cassidy then dips her finger into the paint and draws a 'T' shape on Erica's upper chest, gradually working her way down towards Erica's breasts.
Erica stops her, opens her eyes, and tells Cassidy she is straight and she doesn't want to send her any mixed messages but keep things clear. Cassidy, although a little disappointed, accepts this, but tells Erica that she thinks she is beautiful and is really attracted to her.
She says she knows Erica wants them to just be friends but that, in the spirit of being frank, she has wanted her from the moment they met. Erica considers this candid confession.
That evening, Erica and Cassidy are round at Erica's mom's for dinner. Sam is also present, and enquires as to whether Cassidy is a vegetarian. Barbara scoffs at this, suggesting people spend too much talking about food and not eating.
Cassidy thanks Barbara for all the effort she has gone to, and Erica is then prompted by her mom to comment on Barbara's new haircut. She tells that her hairdresser thinks she looks just like Jennifer Aniston, so has given her a similar hairstyle.
Barbara then asks Cassidy whether she finds Jennifer Aniston attractive and sexy. Erica and Sam are shocked at their mom's forwardness, and Cassidy replies that everyone knows Rachel is "the hottest Friend." Barbara suggests that, if she was a lesbian, that Jennifer is the woman she'd want to be with.
Erica interjects at this point, but Barbara - reminding them that her brother, Ruby, is gay - says she is open minded and likes to discuss these things. Cassidy is surprised to discover that Erica has a gay uncle, and Barbara says she wonders if it runs in the family - as Erica won't bring home "a nice boy."
She says she just wants Erica to be happy, and Cassidy tells them that her mother used to say the same thing, but actually meant happily married to a guy. She informs them that her mom has suggested she is damned and they haven't spoken in ten years.
Cassidy tells Barbara she wishes she had half the relationship with her mother that Barbara has with Erica. She tells her of how helpful Erica has been since she moved to Toronto, and how smart, talented, and "100% straight" Erica is.
Hearing this, Barbara begins to well up, and gets out of her chair to hug Erica, wondering how, whether straight or gay, any parent could care. Erica is first freaked, and then literally choked, by this display.
Later, Erica and Cassidy are walking towards a club on a night out. Erica jokes that when Cassidy described her as "100% straight" her mom was going to cry in relief. She continues by repeating her relief over their earlier conversation, saying that they both know and respect one another's feelings.
Outside the club, the doorman asks to check Cassidy's ID and she goes in. Erica asks whether he needs to see hers, but he declines. She suggests that it's because she isn't dressed up enough for his fancy club, but he replies that she looks fabulous, particularly for 32.
She realises the man is Dr. Tom, who she describes as being dressed like a reject from The Village People. He replies that she is full of confidence and sass tonight, which Erica attributes to the fun she has been having with Cassidy - describing how she took on and killed 'Barbzilla' with kindness.
Dr. Tom teases her, suggesting Erica has butterflies in her stomach and stars in her eyes. She reminds him that she is straight, and he says that's what she keeps saying. Erica insists she's not, and never has been, interested in girls.
However, she admits she is "bonkers" about Cassidy and the way she feels about her when they do things together. Dr. Tom suggests this is wonderful, yet Erica still believes herself to be straight. She agrees, and he says that her butterflies and stars must simply be friendly ones.
Erica is insistent that she isn't into Cassidy and can't be a lesbian. "Labels are for cans, not for people," retorts Dr. Tom, and Erica heads inside.
In the club, Erica and Cassidy are at the bar when they are presented with a couple of drinks which they are informed are compliments of a couple of guys who, after making themselves known, start to approach them.
Cassidy reacts by dragging Erica onto the dance floor. However, Erica notices the guys continuing to make their way towards them, and takes action herself - pulling and holding Cassidy closer to her as they dance provocatively with one another until the guys lose interest.
Back home in Cassidy's apartment, Erica is removing her shoes off her hurting feet, she is then embarrassed when Cassidy informs her that, looking how she does, she would have been swamped at a "dyke bar." Although she denies it, Cassidy can tell Erica finds this embarrassing as she can read her face.
Erica challenges her to read her face at that moment, and Cassidy suggests Erica is trying to look tough but her mouth and eyes show how she is actually nervous and insecure. She thinks that Erica wants to say something, but is afraid she will lose her nerve, and asks Erica what it is.
Then, Erica leans forward and she and Cassidy share a couple of kisses on the lips. Erica pulls away, overwhelmed by what's just happened. Cassidy, too, is shocked, and Erica suggests it's getting late and she has to go.
She goes, leaving Cassidy wondering, and Erica, outside in the hallway, leans against the wall struggling to comprehend what she has just done.
The next morning, Erica is on the couch in her apartment drinking coffee when there's a knock at the door. Ethan comes in, delivering food and drink for the New Year's Eve party later in the evening.
He tells her that, after getting into a fight with her, Claire will not be coming to celebrate what he describes, in reference to the Y2K Problem, as "the end of the world." Erica assures Ethan everything will be fine tomorrow.
Cassidy then appears in the doorway and Ethan tells Erica he will be back in a couple of hours to help set things up for the party. He goes, and Cassidy asks Erica how she is.
Erica says she is fine and tells Cassidy she hopes what happened between them the previous night hasn't got in the way of their friendship and that she will still be coming to the party. Cassidy approaches Erica and tells her to stop talking.
She then moves forward and kisses Erica on the lips. She checks whether Erica is still OK and they continue kissing. Cassidy then begins to unzip Erica's top, and tells her that she isn't going to do anything Erica doesn't want.
She removes Erica's top until she is just wearing her bra, and then Cassidy unbuttons her shirt, as Erica watches her. She returns to kissing her, their bodies against one another.
Cassidy begins to kiss Erica around her neck and goes to pull down her bra strap. At this point, Erica, clearly not feeling right, pulls away, and says things are happening too fast. Cassidy is confused, saying she thought it was what Erica wanted.
They are then shocked when Ethan suddenly walks in, telling them he's forgotten his cell phone. In his hurry, he doesn't notice the pair of them topless until he turns to leave and is stunned. Erica exclaims in embarrassment and he hastily leaves.
At the party that night, Jenny and Judith come up to Erica, registering their surprise with her. Erica realises that Ethan told them about her and Cassidy's kiss. Jenny asks her why she didn't tell them, and Judith suggests that Erica was worried that they wouldn't accept her "lifestyle."
Erica can't believe what she's hearing, but Jenny tells her it's not a big surprise and they point to her love of camping, her Ani DiFranco boxset, and joke about a Melissa Evridge collection and her joining of a women's softball team in Grade 9.
Annoyed, Erica, watched by Cassidy, insists that she's not gay and leaves to confront Ethan about telling them. He suggests that she would have done the same had the roles been reversed.
Ethan asks if this is when Erica informs him that she's gay, but Erica says no. He tells her that he's confused, which she admits to being herself, so he asks her whether being with Cassidy felt right. Erica tells him it didn't, but nor did her first time with a guy.
He explains that his problem is with her hooking up with a friend, telling her it is a line that you don't cross because, although it could turn out great, it could blow up in her face.
Intrigued, considering events in the present day, Erica asks Ethan if he would ever kiss a friend. Ethan insists he never would, unless he really meant it and wanted to take a friendship to the next level.
Erica reflects on this, and Ethan tells her she must either committ 100% to Cassidy or withdraw.
Erica goes to find Cassidy, who is sitting in her bedroom watching the snow fall out of the window. Cassidy informs Erica of how proud Judith and Jenny are of their friend taking a big, important step in her life.
She says she is confused, as Erica told her things were moving too fast, but now her friends are throwing her a pride parade. Erica insists things have got more complicated then she intended.
Cassidy responds that this is why she doesn't go for straight girls, suggesting that, while she is left with pain and kicking herself, Erica can now walk away with broadened horizons and a "sexy little story" to get her boyfriend off.
Erica protests that she does have feelings for Cassidy, but Cassidy doubts this and tells her it is not enough. She walks back into the party but, as Erica attempts to follow her, Jenny accosts her with the countdown to the New Year now underway.
Cassidy watches as everyone waits for the clock on the TV screen to countdown - barring a drunk Ethan who is still panicking about everything going wrong. Everyone cheers when the countdown ends and Erica turns to see Cassidy hugging some other people.
Ethan then bounds over to Erica, overjoyed that everything is still working - just as Erica had assured him - and he initiates a prolonged kiss between the pair. Ethan breaks the kiss and looks a little shocked, but then goes off to continue partying. Cassidy who witnesses the kiss, looks heartbroken at Erica and leaves the apartment.
Erica finds Cassidy outside on a bench, smoking. She apologises, saying the last thing she wanted to do was to hurt her. Cassidy admits that they could never work out, which Erica suggests is crazy because of how much is great between them.
They agree though that, for any relationship to work in the long term, it has to be all or nothing, and Cassidy says they don't have it all. She assures Erica it's not the end of the world and she is OK - before suggesting Erica goes back inside to the party. Cassidy kisses her on the cheek and Erica leaves.
Erica creeps back into the apartment finding, although the party has now finished, Ethan asleep on the couch. She smiles at this sight and heads into her bedroom but, instead, finds herself stumbling out of the elevator behind Ryan, back at Frank's party in the present day.
He asks her if she's OK, and they kiss. She then spots Julianne now feeding food to Ethan, who exchanges an awkward glance at her from a distance.
After the party, Erica and Ryan are walking home and she suggests that they talk, as that's what he had flown back for. He tells her he flew back for her and begins kissing her neck, but she insists they talk.
Erica tells him they have great fun when he's in town. Ryan agrees and says he has something to float by her. He suggests that, for them to work, sarcrifices are required, and he thinks she is the only one making any.
Ryan says she shouldn't have to be waiting for him to come home and having to invite Ethan as her date to events. He proposes to spend more time in Toronto, cut back on travelling as much as he can, and be with Erica more.
Erica listens to this, but tells him that he thinks he is sacrificing too much from a life he's happy with. He insists he's happy with her, but Erica says she isn't ready for him to change his life for her.
Ryan asks what she is ready for and she tells him that, although he is an amazing guy and they have fun together, she can't give him 100% and doesn't think she will ever be able to. Ryan digests this, and suggests that it's because of Ethan, but Erica doesn't reply.
He says he should have, and did, see it coming, lamenting that the joke was on him. He hails a cab for her and they both say how sorry they are. He watches on as Erica gets into the cab and goes.
The next day, Erica is at work, deleting emails from Ryan from her inbox, and narrates.
"Love. It's a strange mixture of alchemy and destiny, and, despite all our grand ideas about who we should end up with, love ultimately chooses for us every time."
She puts her head in her hands as she deletes the emails. Julianne approaches her and asks if there are any there from Erica's "friend." Erica replies there are none from Ryan, but Julianne says she was referring to Ethan - who never got back to her after she had called him.
Julianne sighs, suggesting that he obviously wasn't "the one." She then exclaims "The None" to Erica, suggesting it for the title of a guide for the modern practical woman who's sick of looking for "the one."
She goes to head back into her office, excited, telling Erica she has a "feeling". Erica checks whether she is OK about Ethan, but Julianne scoffs and dismisses him for being a teacher.
Erica then notices a postcard on her desk from Bali, she turns it over and finds it is from Cassidy, who writes of her trip there with her girlfriend Helen. Erica holds it to herself and reflects on events.
She is walking through the city on her way back home when she spots Dr. Tom waiting for her on the sidewalk and they walk together. He states that she has returned in one piece, although Erica doubts whether Ryan is. Dr. Tom reminds her of Cassidy's comment of "all or nothing" and says there is no prize for second place.
They agree that trying to force things generally doesn't work, but Erica feels guilty about the look on Ryan's face. Dr. Tom suggests that it would have been worse had it happened three years down the line and that three months is nothing. He concludes that Ryan "will live."
He stops walking and turns to face Erica, then challenges her about what she will do. He says she was unable to give her body to Cassidy and couldn't give her heart to Ryan. He asks her who she can give those all important things to and leaves her to think.
"They say love is friendship set on fire. And, if you're lucky enough to find someone you can give yourself to - mind, body, and soul - you should hold on and hope like hell you don't get burned."
Erica begins to run home and she arrives, out of breath, back in her apartment building. She knocks on Ethan's door and enters to find him playing on the Wii. When he sees how anxious Erica is, he stops playing and asks her what's wrong - putting his hands on her arms.
She asks him not to, suggesting it will make her lose her nerve. Ethan says she is freaking him out and asks what has happened, wondering if it is about Ryan. Erica admits they have broken up, but tells him not to be sorry as it's a good thing and for the best.
Erica, struggling not to cry, tells him that she has a really loaded statement and wants to apologise in advance for complicating his life, as she knows he is trying to work things out with Claire.
He asks her what she has to say. "I love you, and not just as a friend. Both ways, and always," she replies. She explains that their kiss changed things for her and showed her what was always there.
Erica waits for a response from a silent Ethan and eventually pleads with him to say something. He replies, slowly, that he is married to Claire - which Erica acknowledges. His phone then begins to ring, which Erica begs for him to answer.
Ethan answers to find Claire calling - and he turns his back on Erica and explains that now is not a good time. Erica, devastated, takes the opportunity to quietly leave his apartment. Ethan turns around to find the apartment empty and tries to takes in what has just happened.
Episode Guide
Erica is at work, sorting out some paperwork ahead of a staff meeting. Brent comes up and notices that she has failed to 'bold' the title - warning her that today of all days is not the time to have made such a mistake.
She doesn't seem perturbed by this, but then he points to Julianne entering the office wearing dark sunglasses - and he informs Erica that Julianne has been dumped by her boyfriend, Jackson. She narrates:
"Remember that song, 'Lovers In A Dangerous Time'? Whenever I listen to it, I think being in love is always dangerous."
Julianne is chairing the meeting and discussing plans for Frank Galvin's 50th anniversary party on Friday. She then notices that Erica has failed to bold the title on the paperwork, suggesting it looks like Frank's party isn't important and Erica apologises.
Then a delivery man enters carrying a box of roses and hands it to Julianne. Believing they are from Jackson, she suggests that somebody must be feeling guilty but, when she opens the box and reads the card, she discovers they are for Erica - from Ryan.
That evening, Erica and Ryan are making out on the couch in her apartment and he reveals to her he has made creme brulee for dessert. Erica is delighted to hear this and they go into the kitchen so Ryan can finish the desserts off with a blowtorch.
They then hear a knock on the wall, which Erica explains is part of a code with Ethan from college days. One knock back indicates that they are indisposed, two means comes over. Without thinking, and to Ryan's surprise, Erica knocks back twice.
Ethan opens the door and is confused to see Ryan there. Erica explains that she accidentally knocked twice and he leaves, saying they can watch the DVD he has brought over another time. Erica explains to Ryan about her and Ethan's regular Thursday movie night. Ryan suggests this is like a date.
Erica then asks him why he is pulling out all the stops tonight, suggesting it's because he's feeling guilty about flying away tomorrow and leaving her dateless for Frank's party. Ryan reveals that it's actually because it's three months since he and Erica first met.
She is surprised to discover this, and he tells her that he only makes creme brulee for those he loves. Erica is speechless at this declaration, and can only manage to stutter a reply about how love is a "very serious emotion."
He apologises for putting her on the spot and tells her it's fine if she's not at the same stage yet. He then feeds her some of the creme brulee.
"Love. It's the biggest risk we take, and the most enduring mystery - why we feel so powerfully for one person and not another."
The next evening, Erica is getting ready to go out to Frank's party when Jenny arrives with the dress Erica is borrowing from her for the party. Erica pours them both a glass of wine and Jenny asks where Ryan is.
Erica informs her he has been in Chicago and is now moving onto Vancouver, but tells Jenny that, before he left, he told her he loved her. Jenny is surprised that somebody can fall in love after just three months.
She then tells Jenny how bad she feels about her reply to him, explaining that Ryan is a great boyfriend in so many ways. Jenny tells her she is talking to the wrong girl about love and Ethan then arrives as Erica's date for the evening.
Jenny leaves to attend her yoga class, and Erica - getting ready in her bedroom - shouts to Ethan how grateful she is for him coming with her, warning him that the party will be high brow. He says, having been married to Claire for eight years, he's used to such events.
Erica then comes out of her bedroom and asks Ethan to help do up the zip on the back of her dress. He is taken aback by how great she looks and they share a moment as he rests his hands on her back having zipped her up.
She pulls away and asks him how things with Claire are going. Ethan admits things are "challenging" and then tells Erica how good she looks before they leave the apartment.
Erica and Ethan arrive at the party and are soon approached by Julianne, who wants to know who Erica's "mystery man" is. He goes to get them some drinks, with a flirtatious Julianne requesting a "dirty martini."
While he's gone she asks Erica whether Ethan is single, and Erica admits he is separated from his wife.
Later, Erica and Brent are watching from a distance as Julianne talks and flirts with Ethan, including touching him 25 times. Erica then notices that Ryan has emerged from the elevator and is shocked to see him there.
He tells her that, waiting for his flight at the airport, he had decided he had somewhere more important to be and had flown back to Toronto. Ryan then looks around and is surprised to see Ethan present.
Erica says that she brought him along as she couldn't face all the small talk by herself. She then takes Ryan to introduce him to people, joking that she will have to explain why she has "two dates."
A while later, Ryan is washing his hands in the men's washroom when Ethan comes in and quickly closes the door. He tells him he is hiding from Julianne, who Ethan describes as "unstoppable."
Ryan comments that she is a "babe" - but asks Ethan not to inform Erica of this opinion. Ethan says he wouldn't, but Ryan challenges this, reminding him he is Erica's best friend. Curious, Ethan asks him what Ryan thinks they get up to when they hang out.
He jokes that they watch re-runs of Sex And The City, drink tea, and discuss feelings. Ethan admits that his friendship with Erica has always been a thorny issue with Claire, with Ryan suggesting it's because her three main topics of conversations are "books, books, and Ethan."
Ethan looks unimpressed, and Ryan says he knows they're just friends, but enquires as to whether anything has ever happened between Ethan and Erica. When Ethan insists nothing has, Ryan finds it hard to believe that in 15 years they have always remained just friends.
However, Ethan informs him he has always either been going out with, or married to, Claire. When Ryan suggests that something would have happened between him and Erica if Claire hadn't been in the picture though, Ethan struggles to respond.
He is saved by Julianne coming through the door, commenting that she is either paranoid or Ethan is avoiding her. Ethan says he is just washing his hands and goes back to the party, leaving Ryan to reflect on their conversation.
Frank is giving a speech as everyone watches on and listens. Erica's attention is distracted by the way Julianne is all over an uncomfortable Ethan though, which she describes as "insane" and like Julianne is "on heat." Ryan fails to see why this bothers Erica, reminding her that Ethan is separated.
Erica insists she wants Ethan to move on, but that Julianne has all of Claire's worst qualities "minus the cute accent." Irritated, Ryan tells Erica it's none of her business. As Julianne continues, Erica snaps and goes to walk over to Julianne.
However, Ryan catches her arm as she's leaving to try and stop her. Erica is angry and tells him to let go of her and demands to know what he's doing. Wanting to avoid a public confrontation, Ryan leads Erica into the elevator so they can talk.
Ryan tells her he needs to know whether Erica is concerned about Ethan or just jealous. Erica can't believe this, but he tells her Ethan is always walking into her apartment and the two of them have their "date night."
Erica protests, but he says she always talks about him and, while he realises she has known him for longer, he has gone from the point of understanding to being jealous. Erica responds that she doesn't know what to do about Ryan's jealousy.
However, he suggests she considers it from his point of view that, after telling her that he loves her and her not reciprocating, he has returned to find her dressed up looking gorgeous for another guy.
Erica insists Ethan is there as her friend and, when Ryan asks why she couldn't have told him before, says she shouldn't have to vet her social life by him when he is on the other side of the country.
Ryan admits that he feels he can't compete with Ethan in any way that matters to Erica, but she is adamant she has no feelings for Ethan. Persuaded, Ryan suggests that Erica must think him a freak.
Erica apologises for not telling him that she was coming with Ethan though, and they kiss and make up. Ryan then opens the elevators door and heads back in the party. Erica lingers for a few seconds in the elevator. The doors then begin to close, but she manages to stop them shutting.
However, when she pulls them back open she finds herself entering Dr. Tom's office - exclaiming "Thank God" in her relief. Dr. Tom jokes that he doesn't know whether to be flattered or perturbed by her comment, but Erica tells him she just needs a little time out.
He says that she lied to Ryan, which Erica admits, but she suggests that telling him about a kiss that led absolutely nowhere would have done no good. Dr. Tom challenges her that asking, if it led absolutely nowhere, what harm would it have done to tell Ryan about it.
Erica is sure it would have and asks Dr. Tom to imagine he is Ryan - on top of her not being able to say she loved him finding out that she had kissed Ethan. He admits that it could cause some jealousy but that, in the end, it's better to tell the truth.
She agrees, but suggests she is in a tricky position at the beginning of a relationship. Dr. Tom reminds her that Ryan was able to bare his heart and soul and profess his love for her. Erica doesn't know what to say to this.
He then asks her to tell him about Cassidy Holland. Erica is confused, wondering what Cassidy has to do with any of her current problems, saying that their relationship was totally different. Dr. Tom suggests she enlightens him and she explains that Cassidy was the most amazing woman she'd ever met.
She had lived in the next door apartment in 1999 whilst Erica had been doing her masters, and they soon became inseparable and best friends. She admits that, in some ways, she had a crush on Cassidy - but not completely, as Cassidy was gay.
Erica had figured out that Cassidy liked her and the pair had chemistry. However, Cassidy had misread this one evening and, after Erica had insisted she could never "go there" in the way Cassidy wanted her to, they never spoke again afterwards.
Dr. Tom suggests because Erica didn't share her feelings, but Erica says it was because she had crushed Cassidy's feelings and that she had just pushed her out of her mind during a New Year's Eve party for Y2K. Cassidy had then gone overseas a few months later and she never saw her again.
She says if she went back, she would be honest with Cassidy - telling her she is straight, dealing with her expectations before anything happened, and saving their friendship. Dr. Tom suggests some friendships do just come and go, but Erica says what Cassidy and her had was one step short of a love affair.
Erica tells him she believes she lost a bit of her heart and soul when Cassidy walked out of her life. He suggests that she goes back and finds them both, and Erica begins to spin around until she is back in 1999.
In her shock, she knocks over a pyramid of champagne glasses in the shop she is in. Erica apologises profusely to the shop assistant and goes to pay for the damage. However, her credit card is rejected and she is unable to pay on her debit card either.
At that moment, Cassidy walks into the shop and offers to pay for Erica, telling her to thank the student loans company. Erica is delighted to see Cassidy, who jokes to the shop assistant that the last time she paid C$500 for crystal, she had given her a lap dance first.
Back at Erica's apartment, her and Cassidy open a bottle of wine as they get ready to paint a banner for the New Year's Eve party. Erica jokes that Cassidy's idea of painting apocalyptic images for Y2K is "very Dante," with Cassidy branding Erica a "lit nerd."
She then leans over to get some paint and Erica, who is noticably a little uncomfortable, moves out of her way. Cassidy spots this and pesters Erica to tell her why she's so stressed. Erica denies she is, but Cassidy says she can tell when she is lying.
Cassidy then asks Erica to close her eyes, which she eventually agrees to. She proceeds to get some paint on her brush and gently runs it up Erica's forearm - making her shiver at the sensation.
She explains that, as children, her and a friend would paint on one another. Cassidy then dips her finger into the paint and draws a 'T' shape on Erica's upper chest, gradually working her way down towards Erica's breasts.
Erica stops her, opens her eyes, and tells Cassidy she is straight and she doesn't want to send her any mixed messages but keep things clear. Cassidy, although a little disappointed, accepts this, but tells Erica that she thinks she is beautiful and is really attracted to her.
She says she knows Erica wants them to just be friends but that, in the spirit of being frank, she has wanted her from the moment they met. Erica considers this candid confession.
That evening, Erica and Cassidy are round at Erica's mom's for dinner. Sam is also present, and enquires as to whether Cassidy is a vegetarian. Barbara scoffs at this, suggesting people spend too much talking about food and not eating.
Cassidy thanks Barbara for all the effort she has gone to, and Erica is then prompted by her mom to comment on Barbara's new haircut. She tells that her hairdresser thinks she looks just like Jennifer Aniston, so has given her a similar hairstyle.
Barbara then asks Cassidy whether she finds Jennifer Aniston attractive and sexy. Erica and Sam are shocked at their mom's forwardness, and Cassidy replies that everyone knows Rachel is "the hottest Friend." Barbara suggests that, if she was a lesbian, that Jennifer is the woman she'd want to be with.
Erica interjects at this point, but Barbara - reminding them that her brother, Ruby, is gay - says she is open minded and likes to discuss these things. Cassidy is surprised to discover that Erica has a gay uncle, and Barbara says she wonders if it runs in the family - as Erica won't bring home "a nice boy."
She says she just wants Erica to be happy, and Cassidy tells them that her mother used to say the same thing, but actually meant happily married to a guy. She informs them that her mom has suggested she is damned and they haven't spoken in ten years.
Cassidy tells Barbara she wishes she had half the relationship with her mother that Barbara has with Erica. She tells her of how helpful Erica has been since she moved to Toronto, and how smart, talented, and "100% straight" Erica is.
Hearing this, Barbara begins to well up, and gets out of her chair to hug Erica, wondering how, whether straight or gay, any parent could care. Erica is first freaked, and then literally choked, by this display.
Later, Erica and Cassidy are walking towards a club on a night out. Erica jokes that when Cassidy described her as "100% straight" her mom was going to cry in relief. She continues by repeating her relief over their earlier conversation, saying that they both know and respect one another's feelings.
Outside the club, the doorman asks to check Cassidy's ID and she goes in. Erica asks whether he needs to see hers, but he declines. She suggests that it's because she isn't dressed up enough for his fancy club, but he replies that she looks fabulous, particularly for 32.
She realises the man is Dr. Tom, who she describes as being dressed like a reject from The Village People. He replies that she is full of confidence and sass tonight, which Erica attributes to the fun she has been having with Cassidy - describing how she took on and killed 'Barbzilla' with kindness.
Dr. Tom teases her, suggesting Erica has butterflies in her stomach and stars in her eyes. She reminds him that she is straight, and he says that's what she keeps saying. Erica insists she's not, and never has been, interested in girls.
However, she admits she is "bonkers" about Cassidy and the way she feels about her when they do things together. Dr. Tom suggests this is wonderful, yet Erica still believes herself to be straight. She agrees, and he says that her butterflies and stars must simply be friendly ones.
Erica is insistent that she isn't into Cassidy and can't be a lesbian. "Labels are for cans, not for people," retorts Dr. Tom, and Erica heads inside.
In the club, Erica and Cassidy are at the bar when they are presented with a couple of drinks which they are informed are compliments of a couple of guys who, after making themselves known, start to approach them.
Cassidy reacts by dragging Erica onto the dance floor. However, Erica notices the guys continuing to make their way towards them, and takes action herself - pulling and holding Cassidy closer to her as they dance provocatively with one another until the guys lose interest.
Back home in Cassidy's apartment, Erica is removing her shoes off her hurting feet, she is then embarrassed when Cassidy informs her that, looking how she does, she would have been swamped at a "dyke bar." Although she denies it, Cassidy can tell Erica finds this embarrassing as she can read her face.
Erica challenges her to read her face at that moment, and Cassidy suggests Erica is trying to look tough but her mouth and eyes show how she is actually nervous and insecure. She thinks that Erica wants to say something, but is afraid she will lose her nerve, and asks Erica what it is.
Then, Erica leans forward and she and Cassidy share a couple of kisses on the lips. Erica pulls away, overwhelmed by what's just happened. Cassidy, too, is shocked, and Erica suggests it's getting late and she has to go.
She goes, leaving Cassidy wondering, and Erica, outside in the hallway, leans against the wall struggling to comprehend what she has just done.
The next morning, Erica is on the couch in her apartment drinking coffee when there's a knock at the door. Ethan comes in, delivering food and drink for the New Year's Eve party later in the evening.
He tells her that, after getting into a fight with her, Claire will not be coming to celebrate what he describes, in reference to the Y2K Problem, as "the end of the world." Erica assures Ethan everything will be fine tomorrow.
Cassidy then appears in the doorway and Ethan tells Erica he will be back in a couple of hours to help set things up for the party. He goes, and Cassidy asks Erica how she is.
Erica says she is fine and tells Cassidy she hopes what happened between them the previous night hasn't got in the way of their friendship and that she will still be coming to the party. Cassidy approaches Erica and tells her to stop talking.
She then moves forward and kisses Erica on the lips. She checks whether Erica is still OK and they continue kissing. Cassidy then begins to unzip Erica's top, and tells her that she isn't going to do anything Erica doesn't want.
She removes Erica's top until she is just wearing her bra, and then Cassidy unbuttons her shirt, as Erica watches her. She returns to kissing her, their bodies against one another.
Cassidy begins to kiss Erica around her neck and goes to pull down her bra strap. At this point, Erica, clearly not feeling right, pulls away, and says things are happening too fast. Cassidy is confused, saying she thought it was what Erica wanted.
They are then shocked when Ethan suddenly walks in, telling them he's forgotten his cell phone. In his hurry, he doesn't notice the pair of them topless until he turns to leave and is stunned. Erica exclaims in embarrassment and he hastily leaves.
At the party that night, Jenny and Judith come up to Erica, registering their surprise with her. Erica realises that Ethan told them about her and Cassidy's kiss. Jenny asks her why she didn't tell them, and Judith suggests that Erica was worried that they wouldn't accept her "lifestyle."
Erica can't believe what she's hearing, but Jenny tells her it's not a big surprise and they point to her love of camping, her Ani DiFranco boxset, and joke about a Melissa Evridge collection and her joining of a women's softball team in Grade 9.
Annoyed, Erica, watched by Cassidy, insists that she's not gay and leaves to confront Ethan about telling them. He suggests that she would have done the same had the roles been reversed.
Ethan asks if this is when Erica informs him that she's gay, but Erica says no. He tells her that he's confused, which she admits to being herself, so he asks her whether being with Cassidy felt right. Erica tells him it didn't, but nor did her first time with a guy.
He explains that his problem is with her hooking up with a friend, telling her it is a line that you don't cross because, although it could turn out great, it could blow up in her face.
Intrigued, considering events in the present day, Erica asks Ethan if he would ever kiss a friend. Ethan insists he never would, unless he really meant it and wanted to take a friendship to the next level.
Erica reflects on this, and Ethan tells her she must either committ 100% to Cassidy or withdraw.
Erica goes to find Cassidy, who is sitting in her bedroom watching the snow fall out of the window. Cassidy informs Erica of how proud Judith and Jenny are of their friend taking a big, important step in her life.
She says she is confused, as Erica told her things were moving too fast, but now her friends are throwing her a pride parade. Erica insists things have got more complicated then she intended.
Cassidy responds that this is why she doesn't go for straight girls, suggesting that, while she is left with pain and kicking herself, Erica can now walk away with broadened horizons and a "sexy little story" to get her boyfriend off.
Erica protests that she does have feelings for Cassidy, but Cassidy doubts this and tells her it is not enough. She walks back into the party but, as Erica attempts to follow her, Jenny accosts her with the countdown to the New Year now underway.
Cassidy watches as everyone waits for the clock on the TV screen to countdown - barring a drunk Ethan who is still panicking about everything going wrong. Everyone cheers when the countdown ends and Erica turns to see Cassidy hugging some other people.
Ethan then bounds over to Erica, overjoyed that everything is still working - just as Erica had assured him - and he initiates a prolonged kiss between the pair. Ethan breaks the kiss and looks a little shocked, but then goes off to continue partying. Cassidy who witnesses the kiss, looks heartbroken at Erica and leaves the apartment.
Erica finds Cassidy outside on a bench, smoking. She apologises, saying the last thing she wanted to do was to hurt her. Cassidy admits that they could never work out, which Erica suggests is crazy because of how much is great between them.
They agree though that, for any relationship to work in the long term, it has to be all or nothing, and Cassidy says they don't have it all. She assures Erica it's not the end of the world and she is OK - before suggesting Erica goes back inside to the party. Cassidy kisses her on the cheek and Erica leaves.
Erica creeps back into the apartment finding, although the party has now finished, Ethan asleep on the couch. She smiles at this sight and heads into her bedroom but, instead, finds herself stumbling out of the elevator behind Ryan, back at Frank's party in the present day.
He asks her if she's OK, and they kiss. She then spots Julianne now feeding food to Ethan, who exchanges an awkward glance at her from a distance.
After the party, Erica and Ryan are walking home and she suggests that they talk, as that's what he had flown back for. He tells her he flew back for her and begins kissing her neck, but she insists they talk.
Erica tells him they have great fun when he's in town. Ryan agrees and says he has something to float by her. He suggests that, for them to work, sarcrifices are required, and he thinks she is the only one making any.
Ryan says she shouldn't have to be waiting for him to come home and having to invite Ethan as her date to events. He proposes to spend more time in Toronto, cut back on travelling as much as he can, and be with Erica more.
Erica listens to this, but tells him that he thinks he is sacrificing too much from a life he's happy with. He insists he's happy with her, but Erica says she isn't ready for him to change his life for her.
Ryan asks what she is ready for and she tells him that, although he is an amazing guy and they have fun together, she can't give him 100% and doesn't think she will ever be able to. Ryan digests this, and suggests that it's because of Ethan, but Erica doesn't reply.
He says he should have, and did, see it coming, lamenting that the joke was on him. He hails a cab for her and they both say how sorry they are. He watches on as Erica gets into the cab and goes.
The next day, Erica is at work, deleting emails from Ryan from her inbox, and narrates.
"Love. It's a strange mixture of alchemy and destiny, and, despite all our grand ideas about who we should end up with, love ultimately chooses for us every time."
She puts her head in her hands as she deletes the emails. Julianne approaches her and asks if there are any there from Erica's "friend." Erica replies there are none from Ryan, but Julianne says she was referring to Ethan - who never got back to her after she had called him.
Julianne sighs, suggesting that he obviously wasn't "the one." She then exclaims "The None" to Erica, suggesting it for the title of a guide for the modern practical woman who's sick of looking for "the one."
She goes to head back into her office, excited, telling Erica she has a "feeling". Erica checks whether she is OK about Ethan, but Julianne scoffs and dismisses him for being a teacher.
Erica then notices a postcard on her desk from Bali, she turns it over and finds it is from Cassidy, who writes of her trip there with her girlfriend Helen. Erica holds it to herself and reflects on events.
She is walking through the city on her way back home when she spots Dr. Tom waiting for her on the sidewalk and they walk together. He states that she has returned in one piece, although Erica doubts whether Ryan is. Dr. Tom reminds her of Cassidy's comment of "all or nothing" and says there is no prize for second place.
They agree that trying to force things generally doesn't work, but Erica feels guilty about the look on Ryan's face. Dr. Tom suggests that it would have been worse had it happened three years down the line and that three months is nothing. He concludes that Ryan "will live."
He stops walking and turns to face Erica, then challenges her about what she will do. He says she was unable to give her body to Cassidy and couldn't give her heart to Ryan. He asks her who she can give those all important things to and leaves her to think.
"They say love is friendship set on fire. And, if you're lucky enough to find someone you can give yourself to - mind, body, and soul - you should hold on and hope like hell you don't get burned."
Erica begins to run home and she arrives, out of breath, back in her apartment building. She knocks on Ethan's door and enters to find him playing on the Wii. When he sees how anxious Erica is, he stops playing and asks her what's wrong - putting his hands on her arms.
She asks him not to, suggesting it will make her lose her nerve. Ethan says she is freaking him out and asks what has happened, wondering if it is about Ryan. Erica admits they have broken up, but tells him not to be sorry as it's a good thing and for the best.
Erica, struggling not to cry, tells him that she has a really loaded statement and wants to apologise in advance for complicating his life, as she knows he is trying to work things out with Claire.
He asks her what she has to say. "I love you, and not just as a friend. Both ways, and always," she replies. She explains that their kiss changed things for her and showed her what was always there.
Erica waits for a response from a silent Ethan and eventually pleads with him to say something. He replies, slowly, that he is married to Claire - which Erica acknowledges. His phone then begins to ring, which Erica begs for him to answer.
Ethan answers to find Claire calling - and he turns his back on Erica and explains that now is not a good time. Erica, devastated, takes the opportunity to quietly leave his apartment. Ethan turns around to find the apartment empty and tries to takes in what has just happened.
Thursday, January 27, 2011
This Be The Verse: Analysis
Season 1, Episode 8: This Be The Verse
Analysis
I feel like I don't say this enough on here, so let me begin by repeating it: Being Erica is an amazingly written show. In particular, Episode 8 - while containing some genuinely comical moments - is, overall, really sad and moving.
Just consider for a moment some of the emotion of the different storylines. Erica discovering her father's affair, the break-up of the Strange family, Sam and Erica's argument, Sam realising she isn't pregnant, and Erica's strained relationship with her mom.
Then the ending. No matter how many times I see it, it always chokes me up a little. Credit, too, to the musical directors who, whether with commercial music or the incidental tunes and melodies, always seem to find the right music for the right occasion.
Despite all this emotion though, the writers also pepper the drama with moments of great hilarity.
Don't ask me why, but Ethan confessing: "I don't really like spectator sports," is one of the funniest lines in the whole season. Maybe it's Tyron's delivery, perhaps it's the phrase "spectator sports," but it cracks me up every time.
Then you have the brilliance of Dr. Tom quoting Yoda, which Erica can barely believe, followed by confirming it was Yoda with an impression. Love it.
We then have Erica on a magic mushroom trip hallucinating and having all sorts of visions, Julianne pretending to like Erica's coffee, and Erica throwing away her disgusting lemonade drink.
Even Ryan, yes Ryan, manages to do something funny when he claps at the end of Yom Kippur only to realise it's not the done thing.
Let's be honest though, it's the raw emotion which makes this episode so good, all set on the back drop of Yom Kippur.
Now, I'd never heard of Yom Kippur before watching Being Erica, so learned quite a bit. I can't help but agree with Josh's comment of so many past mistakes and misdemeanours being forgiven and the slate wiped clean in one day does seem quite convenient.
Especially for Erica, who is able to make some headway in patching things up with Sam. Although not as much as she first thought, leading to their heated argument in the Synagogue.
I've been there - nothing like a family disagreement in public.
What's really amazing, when you think about it though, is how Barbara has kept a dignified silence over Gary's infidelity - sacrificing herself and even her relationship with Erica because she wanted her kids to have their father in their life.
While I don't have such experience of that, a familiar tale to my own growing up was living in a house where, more often than not, my dad would put work before family. The same argument between my parents as the one between Gary and Barbara were the soundtrack to my childhood.
Of course, things are even worse for Erica, who then has to discover her father's infidelity. I remember being shocked the first time I watched the episode and finding out what had really been going on.
You can certainly sense the pain, guilt, and hurt in Erica when she realises all the times she has been on here dad's side, she has backed the wrong horse. Every time she pointed the finger of blame at her mom, she was misguided.
However, as Dr. Tom says when he tells Erica about 'Einfuhlung', I guess Gary found himself in an unenviable position, caught in a marriage where he had an obligation to his kids but in love with someone who wasn't their mother. It doesn't make what he did right, but it can't have been easy.
It's a really nice moment when mother and daughter make up therefore, and there's also progress at the end as Erica gets things back on track with Sam, who discovers she isn't pregnant.
Throughout the present day and time travelling though, we continue to see the bad sides of Josh. It does make you wonder what Sam sees in someone so often coarse and, particularly, who isn't there for her. All the time it appears Erica's warnings become more and more true.
We also see the writers further experimenting with the time travelling in this episode, with Erica first going back to 1997 and then to 1974, before she was even born. This allows for a Back To The Future style meeting with parents unaware they're talking to their future child.
I have to admit, the whole hippie thing is not, and would never have been, my kind of thing. Indeed, I've never been outside camping in my life, let alone having taken all kinds of experimental drugs.
It allows for some nice moments, jokes about how much Erica knows about these two strangers and their habits, her comments about what will happen in the future in regards to the Berlin Wall and phones, and her prior knowledge of the sex of the baby Barbara is pregnant with.
There's also a good scene where Erica, tripping out on magic mushrooms, is guided back to the van by her two future parents.
Although, during that exchange, she does tell Gary that Barbara will pick at him only so he can become a better man. Seriously, what is it with women and doing this?
I once heard someone say that all women set out to change a man but it ends up being the other way around. Not sure how much truth there is than that, but I don't understand why they make it their mission to?
This time travelling of Erica opened up the idea of seeing your parents the way they were before they were parents is a bit of a strange one though. I'm not sure I'd want to. Parents is a recurring theme throughout this episode though.
From Dr. Tom's quoting of Philip Larkin - a poem I was aware of from my own English Literature studies - and his views on parenthood, to 1970s Gary telling Erica that parents don't have all the answers and are just figuring it out like everyone else.
I'd never thought of it like this. For one reason or another, I have pretty poor relationships with both of my parents. I'm certainly not as close to either parent as Erica is to hers. Maybe I should cut them more slack than I do though.
Indeed, cutting people slack and forgiving them for their sins is what this episode is all about I guess. We all make mistakes, all the time, every one of us, probably every day. It's how we learn from them and what we do afterwards to make amends that counts though.
I don't think I've ever really felt betrayed and massively let down by someone so much that I have been left wondering whether I can forgive them or not. Perhaps that's because I don't ever let anyone get close enough.
If we ourselves would want to be forgiven for a wrongdoing though, then I guess the least we can do is do the same to others. We're all human after all. All trying to find our way - however much our respective parents screwed us up.
Analysis
I feel like I don't say this enough on here, so let me begin by repeating it: Being Erica is an amazingly written show. In particular, Episode 8 - while containing some genuinely comical moments - is, overall, really sad and moving.
Just consider for a moment some of the emotion of the different storylines. Erica discovering her father's affair, the break-up of the Strange family, Sam and Erica's argument, Sam realising she isn't pregnant, and Erica's strained relationship with her mom.
Then the ending. No matter how many times I see it, it always chokes me up a little. Credit, too, to the musical directors who, whether with commercial music or the incidental tunes and melodies, always seem to find the right music for the right occasion.
Despite all this emotion though, the writers also pepper the drama with moments of great hilarity.
Don't ask me why, but Ethan confessing: "I don't really like spectator sports," is one of the funniest lines in the whole season. Maybe it's Tyron's delivery, perhaps it's the phrase "spectator sports," but it cracks me up every time.
Then you have the brilliance of Dr. Tom quoting Yoda, which Erica can barely believe, followed by confirming it was Yoda with an impression. Love it.
We then have Erica on a magic mushroom trip hallucinating and having all sorts of visions, Julianne pretending to like Erica's coffee, and Erica throwing away her disgusting lemonade drink.
Even Ryan, yes Ryan, manages to do something funny when he claps at the end of Yom Kippur only to realise it's not the done thing.
Let's be honest though, it's the raw emotion which makes this episode so good, all set on the back drop of Yom Kippur.
Now, I'd never heard of Yom Kippur before watching Being Erica, so learned quite a bit. I can't help but agree with Josh's comment of so many past mistakes and misdemeanours being forgiven and the slate wiped clean in one day does seem quite convenient.
Especially for Erica, who is able to make some headway in patching things up with Sam. Although not as much as she first thought, leading to their heated argument in the Synagogue.
I've been there - nothing like a family disagreement in public.
What's really amazing, when you think about it though, is how Barbara has kept a dignified silence over Gary's infidelity - sacrificing herself and even her relationship with Erica because she wanted her kids to have their father in their life.
While I don't have such experience of that, a familiar tale to my own growing up was living in a house where, more often than not, my dad would put work before family. The same argument between my parents as the one between Gary and Barbara were the soundtrack to my childhood.
Of course, things are even worse for Erica, who then has to discover her father's infidelity. I remember being shocked the first time I watched the episode and finding out what had really been going on.
You can certainly sense the pain, guilt, and hurt in Erica when she realises all the times she has been on here dad's side, she has backed the wrong horse. Every time she pointed the finger of blame at her mom, she was misguided.
However, as Dr. Tom says when he tells Erica about 'Einfuhlung', I guess Gary found himself in an unenviable position, caught in a marriage where he had an obligation to his kids but in love with someone who wasn't their mother. It doesn't make what he did right, but it can't have been easy.
It's a really nice moment when mother and daughter make up therefore, and there's also progress at the end as Erica gets things back on track with Sam, who discovers she isn't pregnant.
Throughout the present day and time travelling though, we continue to see the bad sides of Josh. It does make you wonder what Sam sees in someone so often coarse and, particularly, who isn't there for her. All the time it appears Erica's warnings become more and more true.
We also see the writers further experimenting with the time travelling in this episode, with Erica first going back to 1997 and then to 1974, before she was even born. This allows for a Back To The Future style meeting with parents unaware they're talking to their future child.
I have to admit, the whole hippie thing is not, and would never have been, my kind of thing. Indeed, I've never been outside camping in my life, let alone having taken all kinds of experimental drugs.
It allows for some nice moments, jokes about how much Erica knows about these two strangers and their habits, her comments about what will happen in the future in regards to the Berlin Wall and phones, and her prior knowledge of the sex of the baby Barbara is pregnant with.
There's also a good scene where Erica, tripping out on magic mushrooms, is guided back to the van by her two future parents.
Although, during that exchange, she does tell Gary that Barbara will pick at him only so he can become a better man. Seriously, what is it with women and doing this?
I once heard someone say that all women set out to change a man but it ends up being the other way around. Not sure how much truth there is than that, but I don't understand why they make it their mission to?
This time travelling of Erica opened up the idea of seeing your parents the way they were before they were parents is a bit of a strange one though. I'm not sure I'd want to. Parents is a recurring theme throughout this episode though.
From Dr. Tom's quoting of Philip Larkin - a poem I was aware of from my own English Literature studies - and his views on parenthood, to 1970s Gary telling Erica that parents don't have all the answers and are just figuring it out like everyone else.
I'd never thought of it like this. For one reason or another, I have pretty poor relationships with both of my parents. I'm certainly not as close to either parent as Erica is to hers. Maybe I should cut them more slack than I do though.
Indeed, cutting people slack and forgiving them for their sins is what this episode is all about I guess. We all make mistakes, all the time, every one of us, probably every day. It's how we learn from them and what we do afterwards to make amends that counts though.
I don't think I've ever really felt betrayed and massively let down by someone so much that I have been left wondering whether I can forgive them or not. Perhaps that's because I don't ever let anyone get close enough.
If we ourselves would want to be forgiven for a wrongdoing though, then I guess the least we can do is do the same to others. We're all human after all. All trying to find our way - however much our respective parents screwed us up.
This Be The Verse
Season 1, Episode 8: This Be The Verse
Episode Guide
Erica is waking up in bed, she narrates as she gets up, puts on Ryan's shirt, and heads into the kitchen where he is cooking breakfast.
"They say we should strive to forgive and forget. Too often we do neither. Instead, we hold grudges, we stay mad."
Ryan has his back to Erica and she decides to creep up on him. She shouts 'surprise' and goes to jump on his back but, shocked, he ends up dropping the frying pan he's holding onto his toes.
Erica apologises and asks him to forgive her - reminding him tomorrow is Yom Kippur which means he has to forgive her. He jokingly says 'Happy New Year' before admitting he knows about the Jewish 'Day of Atonement' from an ex-girlfriend. They kiss.
"Hurt, anger, betrayal. These things are hard to forgive, much less forget."
The phone rings, and Ryan breaks the kiss to tell Erica it's her mom. Erica begs him not to answer it, as she doesn't want to deal with her mother's attempts to reunite her and Sam. Erica tells of their Yom Kippur tradition of going around to Barbara's for dinner after going to her dad's Synagogue.
Erica says she doesn't want to do that this year, and Ryan suggests they do something else on his credit card. She says Yom Kippur is the one holiday she does take seriously, so can't. Erica then goes to make Ryan breakfast, but he says it can wait as his hurt toe requires 'make-up sex' and they go back into the bedroom.
At work, Erica is bringing Julianne her latte when she, to her surprise, she discovers her boss talking and joking with her mom. Barbara explains she hasn't been able to get in touch with Erica and has come to firm up plans for Yom Kippur.
Julianne leaves them to talk, and they argue over Erica's plans to do Yom Kippur on her own. Her mom suggests this means still going to the Synagogue but not coming to her for dinner.
Barbara then says she wants an end to Erica's fight with Sam, which she describes as pulling the family apart. Erica retorts that somebody else deserves credit for that.
Knowing what she means, her mom claims she, and not Erica's father, is always to blame for everything that goes wrong. Erica suggests that if she wants to see her tomorrow, then she should bury the hatchet with Gary. Her mom scoffs at this idea and Erica walks off leaving Barbara speechless.
Back home, Barbara is sitting down to eat with Josh and Sam, discussing Erica and Sam's argument. Sam accuses her of defending Erica, but she suggests Erica was just trying to be protective. Sam believes she was motivated by jealousy though.
At the table, Barbara goes to put some salad on Sam's plate, but Josh warns her not to eat it because of the raw egg in the dressing. Sam admits to her mom that she is most likely pregnant, and has a blood test coming up to confirm the fact.
Barbara is delighted to hear this news, and tells Sam that her life would now be perfect if her two daughters would resume talking to one another - reminding Sam that tomorrow is Yom Kippur.
Meanwhile, Erica is in her apartment holding her phone and rehearsing what she is going to say to Sam to try and patch things up. Ethan then knocks on the door and enters, he takes the phone from her and begins to call Sam so Erica can apologise.
Erica says she doesn't know what to say and wishes she had joined Ryan in going to Wonderland. Ethan tells her she just has to keep apologising until she gets through to her sister and he hands her the phone back.
At Barbara's, Sam phone begins to ring and Josh picks it up, telling them it is "she who shall not be named" calling. Barbara reminds Sam that she may well be having Erica's niece or nephew, and Sam reluctantly decides to take Erica's call.
Erica apologises, saying she never meant to hurt Sam and asks for forgiveness. Eventually Sam says she forgives Erica and they say they will see one another tomorrow before hanging up.
Unimpressed by how easily his wife has given in, Josh sarcastically says he loves a religion where you can screw up throughout the year but clean the slate with just one phone call.
The next day, Erica and Ryan are walking to the Synagogue, where they are greeted at the door by the cantor, Lily. They enter and find Barbara has accompanied Sam there. Gary is pleased to see her and leads them all to the front row.
On the way, Erica tries to speak to Sam. She says she is pleased they're taking steps forward in making up, but Sam accuses her of taking advantage of Yom Kippur and says she is as forgiving as Erica is sorry.
Gary is giving his sermon, with Barbara sitting between Erica and Sam. She whispers that she is pleased they are all doing this, and Sam sarcastically replies that it is "up there" with the home perm she gave her in Grade 5.
Erica tells Sam that her apology was sincere, but Sam says she sounds like a broken record playing a sad, pathetic song. Conscious of the argument taking place in front of him, Gary tries to raise his voice to mask it and then interjects with a message about sisters getting along.
Hearing this, Sam accuses Erica - much to her disbelief - of getting Gary involved on her side. Both Ryan and Barbara try to get them to stop until, so annoyed, Gary addresses them directly, pointing out he is trying to give a Yom Kippur sermon.
However, the sisters continue, with Sam accusing Erica of "going through the motions" with her apology, and Barbara suggests Erica apologises properly. Erica says her mom is taking Sam's side, but she says she is just trying to save the family.
Erica snaps and, raising her voice, says it was Barbara who walked out on the family after Leo died - when they needed her the most. Gary stops giving his sermon, looking embarrassed as everyone focuses their attention on the front row.
Barbara makes a hasty exit, followed by Sam. Erica goes to follow them, apologising for her behaviour on the way. When she pushes the doors of the synagogue to leave though, she finds herself entering Dr. Tom's office instead.
He is sitting in her chair spinning a Buddhist prayer wheel and quotes to her: "They screw you up your mom and dad. They may not mean to, but they do."
Then he begins to tell her about Catholics who climb the steps of Saint Joseph's oratory in Montreal on their knees - reciting a prayer on each step. Erica tells him it sounds as painful as Yom Kippur.
Rising to his feet, Dr. Tom suggests it didn't need to be painful, but she says she has been trying for weeks to make things right with Sam. Sitting down in his chair, Dr. Tom tells her that: "There is no try, only do," which she recognises as the words of Yoda from Star Wars.
He explains that Yoda was just a mash-up of eastern religious traditions, particularly Buddhism, and tells her about the prayer wheel and how it is supposed to inspire the spirit of compassion, understanding, and forgiveness.
Offering her the wheel, he asks whether she would like to give it a spin. Erica declines, and instead he gets her to explain another regret from her list - 'calling Mom a total Nazi.' Erica shakes her head as he reads it out, telling him it was not her finest moment.
She recalls it was at Yom Kippur in 1997, the year after Leo had died. Everybody was in a bad mood and her mom completely lost it when somebody from the Synagogue had come asking for her dad to go and help them.
Barbara had accused Gary of spending more time at the Schul than with his family and had given him an ultimatum - his Syanagogue or their marriage. Erica thought her mom was being unreasonable and controlling and had shouted at her that she was behaving like a "total Nazi."
Erica says that afterwards, her mom had gone to stay with her sister in Ottawa for a couple of weeks and on her return asked for a divorce.
Although she knows she's not responsible for their divorce, Erica tells Dr. Tom her relationship with her mom changed forever - splitting the family into two camps, her and Gary and Sam and Barbara. She says her and her mom have never recovered properly since.
Dr. Tom begins to play with the prayer wheel again and Erica says if she went back she wouldn't take sides this time and instead stay neutral - like Switzerland.
At that moment, she finds herself transported back - playing Twister where, in her shock, she ends up collapsing over. Josh is delighted with this, declaring his team, also including Sam and Barbara, the winners over Erica, Gary, and Ethan.
After the game, they are sitting around the living room - with Josh still boasting. Sam notices Josh is chewing gum, which she says he isn't allowed to do on Yom Kippur. He complains he isn't allowed to chew gum, watch the game, or do anything.
Hearing this, Barbara says Josh is free to watch the game in her office. Gary protests though, saying Yom Kippur should be respected. Barbara reminds him Josh isn't Jewish and says both him and Ethan should be allowed to do whatever they want.
Gary argues that Josh is a guest in his house and should respect his rules, but their row is interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Erica shifts in her seat as Ethan goes to answer it - knowing what is coming.
The messenger tells Gary that the rabbi is sick and they need him to blow the Shofar. Barbara warns him he not to leave, but he says it is an emergency and they need him. She replies that his family need him at home.
Then Erica steps in to push the messenger away and tells him they will have to find someone else. However, the argument continues, with Barbara suggesting the story of the rabbi being sick is "bullshit" and asking Gary how stupid he thinks she is.
Erica manages to diffuse things and suggests they go ahead with their next game - scrabble. Barbara isn't playing, but she leans over Gary's shoulder and suggests a word he can make with his letters. Unappreciative, Gary leaves the game to go and read.
He is followed by Erica, who quits the game to speak to her mom in the kitchen. She suggests Barbara was trying to pick a fight with Gary, knowing how he hates her helping him. Erica tells her that at least he stayed and defends her dad's involvement with the synagogue, claiming he has found his "passion."
Barbara tells Erica that there are things she doesn't know and, after agreeing to stay out of their argument, Erica goes to fetch her mom her big roasting pan. On her way back with the pan, she goes to see her dad and suggests he give Barbara a break as she's cooking the first big meal since Leo's death.
Gary understands and takes the roasting pan to Barbara himself, offering to help prepare the meal.
At the dinner table, they are getting ready to eat when the phone rings. Gary answers and tells Lily that he can't come to the Schul because he is spending tonight with his family. After he hangs up though, Barbara convinces him to go if they really need him - as it will at least stop them from calling.
Gary leaves, telling them he will be back in an hour, and Erica thanks her mom for being so understanding.
After the meal, Gary has still not returned, and Erica jokes he has been caught up talking to people at the Synagogue. She, Ethan, Sam, and Josh all depart leaving Barbara alone in the kitchen.
On the cab ride home, Erica stops off at the Synagogue with some food she has brought for her dad, suggesting he will be starving after missing dinner. As she enters the Synagogue, she overhears voices.
She sees her dad and Lily on the balcony, and discovers that they have been having an affair. Stunned, Erica runs out of the Synagogue and takes the cab back to her parents' house.
There, she discovers the house empty but finds a letter for Gary from her mom explaining how she knows about his affair with Lily, that she has gone away to her sister's, and now wants a divorce.
Just then, there's a knock on the door. Erica answers it and Dr. Tom walks in, carrying a bag. Erica, upset at her dad's actions, asks him what kind of man calls himself a rabbi but then cheats on his wife a few months after his son's death. Dr. Tom suggests she tells him.
Erica says she can't believe her mom knew and registers her surprise at how both of her parents have behaved. She tells Dr. Tom her dad is not impulsive or underhanded and can't understand why her mom covered for him.
Dr. Tom suggests that Erica doesn't know her parents as well as she thinks she does and that it is something she could work on. He then opens his bag and presents her with a tambourine, telling her she will need it.
Erica is confused, but Dr. Tom leaves her and makes a 'peace out' sign. Erica drops the tambourine in her confusion but, when she goes to pick it up off the floor, finds herself outside in the woods and dressed like a hippie.
Not understanding what's happening, she then spots Dr. Tom chopping wood. He greets her as 'Sister Starlight' and Erica asks him to explain where she is. He tells her they are at a camp they run in the wilds of Ontario - and this is the hippie commune her parents came to in 1974 before they were married.
Erica can't believe this, telling him she was only born in 1976, but Dr. Tom explains that Hindus believe in existence before birth and that some traditions teach that children pick their parents for what they have to teach them.
Erica remarks that, if true, her selection of Gary and Barbara as parents was a "bad choice." Dr. Tom challenges this assertion, and pointing to a young woman in the distance suggests she checks things are out for herself.
Erica is shocked when she realises the woman is her mom and is unsure of what to say to her other than not to marry her dad because he's a "big cheater." Dr. Tom says that she only has ever seen her parents at sea battling the storm, but this is the calm before the storm. He suggests this could be the piece of the puzzle she is missing.
She approaches Barbara and they share a joke before sitting down for some lemonade. She tells Barbara she can't believe she's here as she hates camping.
Barbara tries to protest, but Erica continues, describing how she dislikes how the food tastes smoky, and the damp, and how she hates waking up covered in both sweat and dew. Erica tells her that pretending to like all this stuff for Gary's sake will do her no good in the long term.
Despite Barbara claiming that you just have to handle differences in relationships, Erica says she doesn't get her, detailing information Barbara is shocked she knows seeing as they only met yesterday. Erica covers herself by claiming she is psychic.
Barbara thanks Erica for her concern, but says her love for Gary is built on opposites attracting. They then discover their mutual love of coffee in the morning when Erica asks for some. Erica tells Barbara she takes after her mom like that.
However, hearing this, Yosemite, another hippie, approaches Erica with a flask of tea and pours her some, which she gratefully receives.
At that moment, Gary approaches, going over to Barbara - who jumps into his arms and they start making out. Sensing how uncomfortable Erica is, Barbara stops the kiss and Gary informs them that a Vision Quest is being organised and invites them to both take part, which they eventually agree to.
Just before the Quest begins, Gary ties a special necklace around an annoyed Erica's neck. She suggests he is "full of it" and accuses him of ignoring his wife to spend time with his junkie friends.
Erica continues her attack, telling Gary that he is wrong to expect Barbara to continue looking at him with stars in her eyes as he calls all the shots, and labels him deluded. He says he's not deluded, and loves Barbara with all his heart and self.
Gary asks Erica what made her so bitter and, when she says her parents, he tells her he used to think the same until realising that they don't have the answers. He then challenges Erica, questioning whether she has always been perfect and made the right choices. Erica is stumped.
Sitting around the camp fire, the Vision Quest is underway, with everyone looking into the fire and saying what they see. On Gary's turn, he tells everyone that he feels alone and like no-one does, or ever will, understand him. Erica is intrigued with this answer.
Barbara's turn is next, but she hesitates and tries to pass. Gary tells her to open herself up and find her truth. She once again struggles, telling Gary she doesn't want to talk about it in front of everyone. He reassures Barbara she is safe here and she should say what she has got to say.
While this is going on, Erica has finished off her tea, and is beginning to play with, and look strangely at, her hair.
Barbara eventually tells Gary that she hates it at the camp. He is shocked to hear this, and she tells him she believes it is all bullshit, feels cold and nauseous, and wants to leave. Gary asks why she didn't tell him this earlier and Barbara explains that often he doesn't listen to her.
Meanwhile, Erica begins to have visions in the distance - of her mom in the present day, who she calls out to and shouts at not to go. She begins to feel faint, and Gary steadies her from falling, telling her no-one else is there.
Erica is then guided back to the van by Gary and Barbara. On the way she has another vision, this time of Dr. Tom sitting at his desk in the middle of the woods, wearing shades. "To err is human, but to forgive is divine," he quotes at her.
This vision is then replaced by one of her parents in the present day. Her mom asks why her dad didn't tell her and he says every time he tried she pushed him away. She tells him he has ruined everything and the visions go their separate ways, despite Erica shouting for them not to.
Barbara is concerned with how Erica is behaving, blaming Yosemite and comparing her to one of "Charles Manson's girls," which Gary objects to. Erica tells them to stop and that they have to hold onto their precious love for the future when Barbara will constantly pick at Gary and when Gary will spend his time smoking weed all day.
Barbara then asks Yosemite what was in the tea and she confesses it was actually made from magic mushrooms - which causes Erica to gaze in wonderment when she finds a maple leaf.
Later in the evening, Erica has recovered from her trip with Gary telling her he will never forget her or the stories she has told them about the Berlin Wall falling and phones that can be carried around in people's pockets.
Barbara suggests they will be tales to tell their little one as she pats her stomach and tells Erica she is ten weeks pregnant. Gary informs her that if the baby is a boy they will name him Leo and if it's a girl she will be called Erica.
Smiling, Erica says she is sure it will be a boy, which Gary and Barbara are delighted to hear and they kiss. Erica, once again uncomfortable, begins to make a move away, but as she walks she finds herself transported back in time - bursting back through the doors into the Schul.
Meanwhile, Barbara and Sam are back at home after returning from the Synagogue. Barbara begins to get dinner ready when Sam gets a call from Josh informing her that he won't be able to come round because he is working.
Sam, trying to hide her disappointment, tells her mom not to make her feel guilty, and tells her Josh has a high pressure job and he would be there if he could. Barbara insists that she understands.
At the Schul, Gary blows the Shofar to signal the end of Yom Kippur. Erica asks Ryan to wait in the parking lot for her and, after a cold exchange with Lily, she tells her dad they need to talk in private.
Gary thinks Erica wants to talk about Sam, but Erica tells him she is confused and struggling to think of what to say. She says she knows there was a time when he loved Barbara and asks him what happened.
He explains that people change and Erica suggests that this is what he told himself when he cheated on Barbara with Lily. He is shocked she knows and suggests her mom told her. Erica tells him she didn't, but that he should have and she then discovers that he broke up with Lily 11 years ago.
Erica is angry that her dad had 11 years to tell her the truth but didn't, instead letting her think Barbara was to blame. Gary insists Barbara didn't want Erica and Sam to know the truth, but Erica laments that, had she known the truth, she wouldn't have kept taking her dad's side.
She goes to leave, telling him that she has to make things right with Barbara and, that if he believed anything he's said today, he should do the same.
Barbara is surprised to see Erica when she comes in. Erica apologises, saying she never realised the sacrifices that her mom has made - never using Gary's affair against him whenever Erica took his side in arguments.
Her mom is shocked she knows, but Erica wants to understand why she protected him. Barbara explains that, while Gary wasn't a good husband, he was an amazing father to his kids and that, after losing a brother, she didn't want Sam and Erica to lose their father too.
They hug tightly and Erica apologises once again. Barbara tells Erica to clean up ahead of dinner but, when she goes to the washroom, she encounters Sam coming out, who asks Erica for a tampon.
Sam explains that she wasn't going to say anything until after the first trimester, and Erica realises her sister's disappointment at not being pregnant. She tells Sam she is there for her if she needs anything.
Erica heads into another room and finds herself back in Dr. Tom's office. She sighs and tells him she thought her and Sam weren't going to be able to work things out. He tells her there is no limitation, timetable, or last chance when it comes to forgiveness.
Dr. Tom then asks, now Erica has been forgiven, whether she can turn around and forgive someone else. She realises he is referring to her dad, and says she doesn't know whether she can.
He responds by explaining the German word 'Einfuhlung' - telling her it means "the you in me and the me in you." Erica says he sounds like her dad, with Dr. Tom replying that her father is a wise man. She brands her dad a hypocrite, but he says Gary is only human.
Erica says that doesn't make him any easier to forgive, and Dr. Tom remarks that nobody said it was easy. He tells her to go and break her fast, saying that her Day of Atonement is over.
At the dinner table, Erica, Sam, and their mom sit down to eat, and Erica narrates:
"No family is perfect or stays that way. It changes shape over the years and sometimes loses its original structure."
Barbara remarks that, despite everything else that had happened, it was worth it to get her two daughters together at the table.
"Every sin, every slip up, is another opportunity to grow. They give us the chance to change things we can, and to accept the things we can't."
The doorbell then rings and, as Barbara goes to answer it, Gary walks in. He apologises for interrupting, but before he can say anything else, Barbara invites him to sit down and eat with them. She gets a plate and glass for him and he sits down next to Erica, who smiles and sighs.
Episode Guide
Erica is waking up in bed, she narrates as she gets up, puts on Ryan's shirt, and heads into the kitchen where he is cooking breakfast.
"They say we should strive to forgive and forget. Too often we do neither. Instead, we hold grudges, we stay mad."
Ryan has his back to Erica and she decides to creep up on him. She shouts 'surprise' and goes to jump on his back but, shocked, he ends up dropping the frying pan he's holding onto his toes.
Erica apologises and asks him to forgive her - reminding him tomorrow is Yom Kippur which means he has to forgive her. He jokingly says 'Happy New Year' before admitting he knows about the Jewish 'Day of Atonement' from an ex-girlfriend. They kiss.
"Hurt, anger, betrayal. These things are hard to forgive, much less forget."
The phone rings, and Ryan breaks the kiss to tell Erica it's her mom. Erica begs him not to answer it, as she doesn't want to deal with her mother's attempts to reunite her and Sam. Erica tells of their Yom Kippur tradition of going around to Barbara's for dinner after going to her dad's Synagogue.
Erica says she doesn't want to do that this year, and Ryan suggests they do something else on his credit card. She says Yom Kippur is the one holiday she does take seriously, so can't. Erica then goes to make Ryan breakfast, but he says it can wait as his hurt toe requires 'make-up sex' and they go back into the bedroom.
At work, Erica is bringing Julianne her latte when she, to her surprise, she discovers her boss talking and joking with her mom. Barbara explains she hasn't been able to get in touch with Erica and has come to firm up plans for Yom Kippur.
Julianne leaves them to talk, and they argue over Erica's plans to do Yom Kippur on her own. Her mom suggests this means still going to the Synagogue but not coming to her for dinner.
Barbara then says she wants an end to Erica's fight with Sam, which she describes as pulling the family apart. Erica retorts that somebody else deserves credit for that.
Knowing what she means, her mom claims she, and not Erica's father, is always to blame for everything that goes wrong. Erica suggests that if she wants to see her tomorrow, then she should bury the hatchet with Gary. Her mom scoffs at this idea and Erica walks off leaving Barbara speechless.
Back home, Barbara is sitting down to eat with Josh and Sam, discussing Erica and Sam's argument. Sam accuses her of defending Erica, but she suggests Erica was just trying to be protective. Sam believes she was motivated by jealousy though.
At the table, Barbara goes to put some salad on Sam's plate, but Josh warns her not to eat it because of the raw egg in the dressing. Sam admits to her mom that she is most likely pregnant, and has a blood test coming up to confirm the fact.
Barbara is delighted to hear this news, and tells Sam that her life would now be perfect if her two daughters would resume talking to one another - reminding Sam that tomorrow is Yom Kippur.
Meanwhile, Erica is in her apartment holding her phone and rehearsing what she is going to say to Sam to try and patch things up. Ethan then knocks on the door and enters, he takes the phone from her and begins to call Sam so Erica can apologise.
Erica says she doesn't know what to say and wishes she had joined Ryan in going to Wonderland. Ethan tells her she just has to keep apologising until she gets through to her sister and he hands her the phone back.
At Barbara's, Sam phone begins to ring and Josh picks it up, telling them it is "she who shall not be named" calling. Barbara reminds Sam that she may well be having Erica's niece or nephew, and Sam reluctantly decides to take Erica's call.
Erica apologises, saying she never meant to hurt Sam and asks for forgiveness. Eventually Sam says she forgives Erica and they say they will see one another tomorrow before hanging up.
Unimpressed by how easily his wife has given in, Josh sarcastically says he loves a religion where you can screw up throughout the year but clean the slate with just one phone call.
The next day, Erica and Ryan are walking to the Synagogue, where they are greeted at the door by the cantor, Lily. They enter and find Barbara has accompanied Sam there. Gary is pleased to see her and leads them all to the front row.
On the way, Erica tries to speak to Sam. She says she is pleased they're taking steps forward in making up, but Sam accuses her of taking advantage of Yom Kippur and says she is as forgiving as Erica is sorry.
Gary is giving his sermon, with Barbara sitting between Erica and Sam. She whispers that she is pleased they are all doing this, and Sam sarcastically replies that it is "up there" with the home perm she gave her in Grade 5.
Erica tells Sam that her apology was sincere, but Sam says she sounds like a broken record playing a sad, pathetic song. Conscious of the argument taking place in front of him, Gary tries to raise his voice to mask it and then interjects with a message about sisters getting along.
Hearing this, Sam accuses Erica - much to her disbelief - of getting Gary involved on her side. Both Ryan and Barbara try to get them to stop until, so annoyed, Gary addresses them directly, pointing out he is trying to give a Yom Kippur sermon.
However, the sisters continue, with Sam accusing Erica of "going through the motions" with her apology, and Barbara suggests Erica apologises properly. Erica says her mom is taking Sam's side, but she says she is just trying to save the family.
Erica snaps and, raising her voice, says it was Barbara who walked out on the family after Leo died - when they needed her the most. Gary stops giving his sermon, looking embarrassed as everyone focuses their attention on the front row.
Barbara makes a hasty exit, followed by Sam. Erica goes to follow them, apologising for her behaviour on the way. When she pushes the doors of the synagogue to leave though, she finds herself entering Dr. Tom's office instead.
He is sitting in her chair spinning a Buddhist prayer wheel and quotes to her: "They screw you up your mom and dad. They may not mean to, but they do."
Then he begins to tell her about Catholics who climb the steps of Saint Joseph's oratory in Montreal on their knees - reciting a prayer on each step. Erica tells him it sounds as painful as Yom Kippur.
Rising to his feet, Dr. Tom suggests it didn't need to be painful, but she says she has been trying for weeks to make things right with Sam. Sitting down in his chair, Dr. Tom tells her that: "There is no try, only do," which she recognises as the words of Yoda from Star Wars.
He explains that Yoda was just a mash-up of eastern religious traditions, particularly Buddhism, and tells her about the prayer wheel and how it is supposed to inspire the spirit of compassion, understanding, and forgiveness.
Offering her the wheel, he asks whether she would like to give it a spin. Erica declines, and instead he gets her to explain another regret from her list - 'calling Mom a total Nazi.' Erica shakes her head as he reads it out, telling him it was not her finest moment.
She recalls it was at Yom Kippur in 1997, the year after Leo had died. Everybody was in a bad mood and her mom completely lost it when somebody from the Synagogue had come asking for her dad to go and help them.
Barbara had accused Gary of spending more time at the Schul than with his family and had given him an ultimatum - his Syanagogue or their marriage. Erica thought her mom was being unreasonable and controlling and had shouted at her that she was behaving like a "total Nazi."
Erica says that afterwards, her mom had gone to stay with her sister in Ottawa for a couple of weeks and on her return asked for a divorce.
Although she knows she's not responsible for their divorce, Erica tells Dr. Tom her relationship with her mom changed forever - splitting the family into two camps, her and Gary and Sam and Barbara. She says her and her mom have never recovered properly since.
Dr. Tom begins to play with the prayer wheel again and Erica says if she went back she wouldn't take sides this time and instead stay neutral - like Switzerland.
At that moment, she finds herself transported back - playing Twister where, in her shock, she ends up collapsing over. Josh is delighted with this, declaring his team, also including Sam and Barbara, the winners over Erica, Gary, and Ethan.
After the game, they are sitting around the living room - with Josh still boasting. Sam notices Josh is chewing gum, which she says he isn't allowed to do on Yom Kippur. He complains he isn't allowed to chew gum, watch the game, or do anything.
Hearing this, Barbara says Josh is free to watch the game in her office. Gary protests though, saying Yom Kippur should be respected. Barbara reminds him Josh isn't Jewish and says both him and Ethan should be allowed to do whatever they want.
Gary argues that Josh is a guest in his house and should respect his rules, but their row is interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Erica shifts in her seat as Ethan goes to answer it - knowing what is coming.
The messenger tells Gary that the rabbi is sick and they need him to blow the Shofar. Barbara warns him he not to leave, but he says it is an emergency and they need him. She replies that his family need him at home.
Then Erica steps in to push the messenger away and tells him they will have to find someone else. However, the argument continues, with Barbara suggesting the story of the rabbi being sick is "bullshit" and asking Gary how stupid he thinks she is.
Erica manages to diffuse things and suggests they go ahead with their next game - scrabble. Barbara isn't playing, but she leans over Gary's shoulder and suggests a word he can make with his letters. Unappreciative, Gary leaves the game to go and read.
He is followed by Erica, who quits the game to speak to her mom in the kitchen. She suggests Barbara was trying to pick a fight with Gary, knowing how he hates her helping him. Erica tells her that at least he stayed and defends her dad's involvement with the synagogue, claiming he has found his "passion."
Barbara tells Erica that there are things she doesn't know and, after agreeing to stay out of their argument, Erica goes to fetch her mom her big roasting pan. On her way back with the pan, she goes to see her dad and suggests he give Barbara a break as she's cooking the first big meal since Leo's death.
Gary understands and takes the roasting pan to Barbara himself, offering to help prepare the meal.
At the dinner table, they are getting ready to eat when the phone rings. Gary answers and tells Lily that he can't come to the Schul because he is spending tonight with his family. After he hangs up though, Barbara convinces him to go if they really need him - as it will at least stop them from calling.
Gary leaves, telling them he will be back in an hour, and Erica thanks her mom for being so understanding.
After the meal, Gary has still not returned, and Erica jokes he has been caught up talking to people at the Synagogue. She, Ethan, Sam, and Josh all depart leaving Barbara alone in the kitchen.
On the cab ride home, Erica stops off at the Synagogue with some food she has brought for her dad, suggesting he will be starving after missing dinner. As she enters the Synagogue, she overhears voices.
She sees her dad and Lily on the balcony, and discovers that they have been having an affair. Stunned, Erica runs out of the Synagogue and takes the cab back to her parents' house.
There, she discovers the house empty but finds a letter for Gary from her mom explaining how she knows about his affair with Lily, that she has gone away to her sister's, and now wants a divorce.
Just then, there's a knock on the door. Erica answers it and Dr. Tom walks in, carrying a bag. Erica, upset at her dad's actions, asks him what kind of man calls himself a rabbi but then cheats on his wife a few months after his son's death. Dr. Tom suggests she tells him.
Erica says she can't believe her mom knew and registers her surprise at how both of her parents have behaved. She tells Dr. Tom her dad is not impulsive or underhanded and can't understand why her mom covered for him.
Dr. Tom suggests that Erica doesn't know her parents as well as she thinks she does and that it is something she could work on. He then opens his bag and presents her with a tambourine, telling her she will need it.
Erica is confused, but Dr. Tom leaves her and makes a 'peace out' sign. Erica drops the tambourine in her confusion but, when she goes to pick it up off the floor, finds herself outside in the woods and dressed like a hippie.
Not understanding what's happening, she then spots Dr. Tom chopping wood. He greets her as 'Sister Starlight' and Erica asks him to explain where she is. He tells her they are at a camp they run in the wilds of Ontario - and this is the hippie commune her parents came to in 1974 before they were married.
Erica can't believe this, telling him she was only born in 1976, but Dr. Tom explains that Hindus believe in existence before birth and that some traditions teach that children pick their parents for what they have to teach them.
Erica remarks that, if true, her selection of Gary and Barbara as parents was a "bad choice." Dr. Tom challenges this assertion, and pointing to a young woman in the distance suggests she checks things are out for herself.
Erica is shocked when she realises the woman is her mom and is unsure of what to say to her other than not to marry her dad because he's a "big cheater." Dr. Tom says that she only has ever seen her parents at sea battling the storm, but this is the calm before the storm. He suggests this could be the piece of the puzzle she is missing.
She approaches Barbara and they share a joke before sitting down for some lemonade. She tells Barbara she can't believe she's here as she hates camping.
Barbara tries to protest, but Erica continues, describing how she dislikes how the food tastes smoky, and the damp, and how she hates waking up covered in both sweat and dew. Erica tells her that pretending to like all this stuff for Gary's sake will do her no good in the long term.
Despite Barbara claiming that you just have to handle differences in relationships, Erica says she doesn't get her, detailing information Barbara is shocked she knows seeing as they only met yesterday. Erica covers herself by claiming she is psychic.
Barbara thanks Erica for her concern, but says her love for Gary is built on opposites attracting. They then discover their mutual love of coffee in the morning when Erica asks for some. Erica tells Barbara she takes after her mom like that.
However, hearing this, Yosemite, another hippie, approaches Erica with a flask of tea and pours her some, which she gratefully receives.
At that moment, Gary approaches, going over to Barbara - who jumps into his arms and they start making out. Sensing how uncomfortable Erica is, Barbara stops the kiss and Gary informs them that a Vision Quest is being organised and invites them to both take part, which they eventually agree to.
Just before the Quest begins, Gary ties a special necklace around an annoyed Erica's neck. She suggests he is "full of it" and accuses him of ignoring his wife to spend time with his junkie friends.
Erica continues her attack, telling Gary that he is wrong to expect Barbara to continue looking at him with stars in her eyes as he calls all the shots, and labels him deluded. He says he's not deluded, and loves Barbara with all his heart and self.
Gary asks Erica what made her so bitter and, when she says her parents, he tells her he used to think the same until realising that they don't have the answers. He then challenges Erica, questioning whether she has always been perfect and made the right choices. Erica is stumped.
Sitting around the camp fire, the Vision Quest is underway, with everyone looking into the fire and saying what they see. On Gary's turn, he tells everyone that he feels alone and like no-one does, or ever will, understand him. Erica is intrigued with this answer.
Barbara's turn is next, but she hesitates and tries to pass. Gary tells her to open herself up and find her truth. She once again struggles, telling Gary she doesn't want to talk about it in front of everyone. He reassures Barbara she is safe here and she should say what she has got to say.
While this is going on, Erica has finished off her tea, and is beginning to play with, and look strangely at, her hair.
Barbara eventually tells Gary that she hates it at the camp. He is shocked to hear this, and she tells him she believes it is all bullshit, feels cold and nauseous, and wants to leave. Gary asks why she didn't tell him this earlier and Barbara explains that often he doesn't listen to her.
Meanwhile, Erica begins to have visions in the distance - of her mom in the present day, who she calls out to and shouts at not to go. She begins to feel faint, and Gary steadies her from falling, telling her no-one else is there.
Erica is then guided back to the van by Gary and Barbara. On the way she has another vision, this time of Dr. Tom sitting at his desk in the middle of the woods, wearing shades. "To err is human, but to forgive is divine," he quotes at her.
This vision is then replaced by one of her parents in the present day. Her mom asks why her dad didn't tell her and he says every time he tried she pushed him away. She tells him he has ruined everything and the visions go their separate ways, despite Erica shouting for them not to.
Barbara is concerned with how Erica is behaving, blaming Yosemite and comparing her to one of "Charles Manson's girls," which Gary objects to. Erica tells them to stop and that they have to hold onto their precious love for the future when Barbara will constantly pick at Gary and when Gary will spend his time smoking weed all day.
Barbara then asks Yosemite what was in the tea and she confesses it was actually made from magic mushrooms - which causes Erica to gaze in wonderment when she finds a maple leaf.
Later in the evening, Erica has recovered from her trip with Gary telling her he will never forget her or the stories she has told them about the Berlin Wall falling and phones that can be carried around in people's pockets.
Barbara suggests they will be tales to tell their little one as she pats her stomach and tells Erica she is ten weeks pregnant. Gary informs her that if the baby is a boy they will name him Leo and if it's a girl she will be called Erica.
Smiling, Erica says she is sure it will be a boy, which Gary and Barbara are delighted to hear and they kiss. Erica, once again uncomfortable, begins to make a move away, but as she walks she finds herself transported back in time - bursting back through the doors into the Schul.
Meanwhile, Barbara and Sam are back at home after returning from the Synagogue. Barbara begins to get dinner ready when Sam gets a call from Josh informing her that he won't be able to come round because he is working.
Sam, trying to hide her disappointment, tells her mom not to make her feel guilty, and tells her Josh has a high pressure job and he would be there if he could. Barbara insists that she understands.
At the Schul, Gary blows the Shofar to signal the end of Yom Kippur. Erica asks Ryan to wait in the parking lot for her and, after a cold exchange with Lily, she tells her dad they need to talk in private.
Gary thinks Erica wants to talk about Sam, but Erica tells him she is confused and struggling to think of what to say. She says she knows there was a time when he loved Barbara and asks him what happened.
He explains that people change and Erica suggests that this is what he told himself when he cheated on Barbara with Lily. He is shocked she knows and suggests her mom told her. Erica tells him she didn't, but that he should have and she then discovers that he broke up with Lily 11 years ago.
Erica is angry that her dad had 11 years to tell her the truth but didn't, instead letting her think Barbara was to blame. Gary insists Barbara didn't want Erica and Sam to know the truth, but Erica laments that, had she known the truth, she wouldn't have kept taking her dad's side.
She goes to leave, telling him that she has to make things right with Barbara and, that if he believed anything he's said today, he should do the same.
Barbara is surprised to see Erica when she comes in. Erica apologises, saying she never realised the sacrifices that her mom has made - never using Gary's affair against him whenever Erica took his side in arguments.
Her mom is shocked she knows, but Erica wants to understand why she protected him. Barbara explains that, while Gary wasn't a good husband, he was an amazing father to his kids and that, after losing a brother, she didn't want Sam and Erica to lose their father too.
They hug tightly and Erica apologises once again. Barbara tells Erica to clean up ahead of dinner but, when she goes to the washroom, she encounters Sam coming out, who asks Erica for a tampon.
Sam explains that she wasn't going to say anything until after the first trimester, and Erica realises her sister's disappointment at not being pregnant. She tells Sam she is there for her if she needs anything.
Erica heads into another room and finds herself back in Dr. Tom's office. She sighs and tells him she thought her and Sam weren't going to be able to work things out. He tells her there is no limitation, timetable, or last chance when it comes to forgiveness.
Dr. Tom then asks, now Erica has been forgiven, whether she can turn around and forgive someone else. She realises he is referring to her dad, and says she doesn't know whether she can.
He responds by explaining the German word 'Einfuhlung' - telling her it means "the you in me and the me in you." Erica says he sounds like her dad, with Dr. Tom replying that her father is a wise man. She brands her dad a hypocrite, but he says Gary is only human.
Erica says that doesn't make him any easier to forgive, and Dr. Tom remarks that nobody said it was easy. He tells her to go and break her fast, saying that her Day of Atonement is over.
At the dinner table, Erica, Sam, and their mom sit down to eat, and Erica narrates:
"No family is perfect or stays that way. It changes shape over the years and sometimes loses its original structure."
Barbara remarks that, despite everything else that had happened, it was worth it to get her two daughters together at the table.
"Every sin, every slip up, is another opportunity to grow. They give us the chance to change things we can, and to accept the things we can't."
The doorbell then rings and, as Barbara goes to answer it, Gary walks in. He apologises for interrupting, but before he can say anything else, Barbara invites him to sit down and eat with them. She gets a plate and glass for him and he sits down next to Erica, who smiles and sighs.
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