Leo: Analysis

Season 1, Episode 13: Leo

Analysis

Over the course of the first season, Erica's journey seems to be inexorably moving towards two outcomes. The first is the progression of her friendship with Ethan into the relationship which, come the end of the season, they consummate.

The second, and the focus of the climax to Season 1, is that she will have to deal with the regret of the death of her brother Leo.

After all, Erica tells Dr. Tom, and us, in Episode 2 that Leo is her number one regret. It's the last regret she wrote down on her list in Episode 1, and his numerous appearances during her time travelling only further his importance.

From that first, almost unreal, meeting with him - hearing his voice, seeing his face again, in the kitchen back in 1994, to him giving her the necklace he had made. Every time Leo appears, Erica is held in an almost trance-like state.

As I've already mentioned in previous discussions, just look who Erica gets wells-up the most over at her Bat Mitzvah candle lighting ceremony - it's Leo. Who persuades her to repeat her regret in holding the Halloween party at Casa Loma - it's Leo. Who figures in her perfect day - It's Leo.

There's an inevitability that this has all been building up to one moment - Erica confronting her biggest regret on the anniversary of Leo's death.

I'm always reminded of a line from the James Bond film You Only Live Twice, where M, explaining Bond's mission to him, informs him that: "This is the big one." I get the same feeling with this episode.

It's the one we've all been waiting for, the one we've all been anticipating. We know it's coming, a fact only confirmed by the "Previously on Being Erica..." introduction. This is Leo's episode, it's arrived.

I think with TV shows there's always that one episode that every fan waits for and has to see. This is that episode in Being Erica, certainly during the first couple of seasons anyway.

In previous analyses, I have labelled episodes as being particularly humorous or emotional. For me, there's one word which describes Episode 13 the best. Indeed, Erica uses itself when talking to Ethan at the end - intense.

It's an incredibly intense episode, keeping up the tradition of the most amazing writing and great performances from Erin and Michael, particularly in their scenes together, as ever. I don't have the words to be able to accurately do them justice.

I've also, during my discussions on the episodes, tried to relate and compare the situations and scenarios that Erica encounters to things in my own life. It stops here. How can I even begin? I've not lost a sibling, indeed, I have been fortunate enough never to lose anyone I've ever been very close to.

I have no idea what it's like waiting with dread for a date to come up every year - a day which brings back so much pain and hurt and memories. A date that can never be forgotten, or escaped from. It is forever on Erica's mind.

The episode begins in very clever fashion, with the mirroring of the opening of Season 1. However, for all the progress that we have witnessed Erica making over the course of the past few months, she makes it clear that there is still one she can never get past.

She intimates as much to Dr. Tom, she has been hanging onto it for so long. Perhaps why the writers felt it so necessary to address the Leo regret at the end of Season 1. Simply put, she can't move on properly and fulfil her potential until she has faced up to Leo's death.

Leo has hung over her, held her back. We get an idea of this later when, Leo having lived, we find Erica now Managing Director of Fiction at River Rock. Not only that, but Sam and Josh never became married, and her father is now a successful author.

It is the regret that means more to her, the one she must confront for her story to progress in Season 2 and beyond. It helps too that Season 1 goes out on such a bang that not renewing it it again would have been at outrageous decision by any TV executives.

It produces an episode which is full of that dark intensity and drama and one which, however many times I watch it, never fails to choke me up a bit. It was certainly distressing viewing at first. How could it not be?

Dr. Tom is well aware of the importance of this regret. Watching it for the first time, I was struck immediately by her entrance into Dr. Tom's office after trying to catch-up with her Mom.

There is no witty or joking remark from Dr. Tom. He's not sitting down, he's not acting up, he's not reading or spinning a prayer wheel or meditating. He is standing up, directly opposite the door, focusing purely on Erica, waiting for the very second that she enters.

The familiar jaunty tune which plays whenever he appears has gone too. Replaced instead with darker music, guaranteed to raise that heart rate up a few beats. It's all screaming "This is important." This is, as he puts it, "a juncture of sorts."

You certainly can't accuse Dr. Tom of not being able to sense tone, note how he invites her to sit down, then rests his hand on Erica's shoulder as she begins to explain her story - which he listens to silently and sympathetically.

There is no time for quotes or quips - this is a time for understanding and therapy in the very truest sense of the word. However, there is a nagging feeling of prolepsis throughout their serious conversation.

There are the warnings, the reminders of what Erica can and cannot do. Dr. Tom knows the powerful nature of this regret, and the implications and possible consequences of Erica going back and reliving it. However, he is also desperate to help deal with her regret.

It's perfectly encapsulated in that moment when he sends Erica back in time, yet we remain in his office for once - to see his reaction to her going back. A nervous and faint smile that he has done what she needed, but also fearing what might happen.

On reflection, it was almost inevitable that Erica would be unable to keep her promise, and there is that terrifically dramatic moment when she snaps. Not willing to allow Leo to simply die in front of her eyes again, she destroys his joint and all the weed in a cocktail of anger, relief, and joy.

Her happiness at her destruction is almost child-like, a feeling that she has got one over the universe and fate. She has broken the rules and got away with it. She has beaten the system. She has saved her brother's life.

That smiles remains until her explosive scene with Dr. Tom, barely able to contain his anger at what Erica has just done. This is one of the most seminal scenes of the entire first 13 episodes.

We've already seen that, despite his cool and calm exterior, Dr. Tom has a temper. He grabs Erica's arm in the very first episode, don't forget. He also explodes at her in Episode 7 when she blames him and the therapy for the breakdown of her relationship with Sam.

However, this is something completely different. He feels betrayed, that all the work he has put in to Erica has been thrown away. He is probably angry at himself a bit too, thinking he should have known Erica would have given into the temptation of changing history.

Again, Michael Riley pulls out all the stops, with his furious reaction at how the sanctity of the therapy has been abused - forcing Erica out of his office, and hurting her in the process.

It's often the case with calm people that, when they let their temper and rage show, they are more shocked that anybody else. We can tell that with Dr. Tom too, as he stands there, almost in disbelief at how he reacted to Erica.

When he receives the phone call - his slow walk to answering it is almost one of resignation. He expected it would be coming. I wonder too, if in his later conversation about "consequences to breaking the rules" he was referring to himself and his own conduct.

It is during their second explosive conversation, as Erica discovers that, despite her changing history, Leo is still destined to die. Roles are then reversed, as a devastated Erica, robbed of another goodbye with Leo, rages at Dr. Tom - believing it to be his doing.

However, he seems to have returned to his usual calm self - but now is simply cold to her. I guess it makes the conclusion with Naadiah all the more understandable.

Dr. Tom is questioning his own commitment to Erica - and almost mocks her that she chose Leo but now he is dead "again," and she only has the therapy which she was willing to turn her back on.

Of course, Erica does end up going back again and we see an amazing scene as she realises that, now she can't save Leo, she really is going to have to say goodbye properly.

It's incredibly sad and solemn, with Leo talking about "letting go" and Erica realising that is exactly what she needs to in regards to him and his death.

However, she does what she intended to all along - have a meaningful last conversation with him and, via the letter, help her parents and family to also move on and deal properly with him being gone.

It's amazing how, every time you watch Being Erica, you pick up on different and new things you've missed before. I guess you have to give major credit to the writers for that. Note that when Leo tells Erica he will "see her down there in a bit" she responds only with "goodbye."

That's because she knows that what this has been. She won't see him again - other than that moment watching through the window as she sees him walk to the barn - and his death.

She knows what is coming, and is powerless to stop it, resigned to the fact she must watch him die again, as she does when the barn burns to the ground once more.

On reflection, it was always strange how we knew Erica's brother was dead, yet we never saw her visit his grave. Now we know why she isn't able to, because he hasn't got one.

At this point, I'd like to congratulate once more those behind the music. I'd never heard that song by Sarah McLachlan before, but its poignancy really fits the circumstances. The haunting and weird music as Erica ends up going into her already occupied flat as she adjusts to her present-day life plus Leo is also excellent.

Of course, with her successfully re-living her regret over Leo - and helping her family in turn - there is one last twist before the beginning of Season 2. It was quite a shock as she enters a completely different office at the end.

Calming and serene, perhaps, with the sound of bells or wind chimes or something in the background, alongside the white and blue colours. However, Doctor Naadiah's office is also cold and impersonal. Not like Dr. Tom's stylish and intriguing office with the red - of anger and passion.

And then those shocking words: "I'm your new therapist." Cue bombshell. At least we know everything works out OK in the end.