Being Dr. Tom

Season 2, Episode 1: Being Dr. Tom

Episode Guide

Erica is still in Dr. Naadiah's office, trying to digest what she has just been told. She asks what Naadiah is talking about. Naadiah tries to calm her, suggesting she sits down and that she knows she has been through a lot. Erica replies that she doesn't.

She tells Naadiah that she isn't her doctor and requests to speak with Dr. Tom. Naadiah tells her she can't, and Erica asks why she can't and where he is. Naadiah reminds Erica that Dr. Tom told her that her therapy is about her and her only.

However, Erica points out that they made a commitment to one another, together. Naadiah disagrees though, and says she is now here to help Erica honour her commitment, pointing out she isn't finished with her list or therapy.

Erica wonders if Dr. Tom is being punished for losing his temper, and admits that it was her fault too. She says that she broke her promise and he had a reason to be upset. Naadiah insists that no-one is punishing Dr. Tom though.

Upset, Erica demands to know why she can't see him, and Naadiah reluctantly explains that Dr. Tom has decided to quit and that Erica can't see him as he doesn't want to see her. Erica turns away at this revelation and, finding a door, walks through it.

She finds herself entering her apartment via her front door. She tries to compose herself, but then Naadiah opens the door and follows her in. Erica is surprised to see her - reminding her that Ethan is asleep in the next room.

Naadiah says that their conversation isn't over, but Erica is adamant that it is. She tells Naadiah that she is sure she is very qualified but tells her it has nothing to do with her. Erica reiterates that her commitment was to Dr. Tom and that if he has quit, so will she.

Realising she is getting nowhere, Naadiah agrees to go, telling Erica she will give her some time. Erica is left in her apartment, trying to come to terms with everything.

Erica and Ethan are walking through the city streets and she narrates:

"How do you know when you're done? When it's time to move on? Sometimes, the decision is impulsive. Other times you think it through but, no matter how we decide we're ready, the truth remains that the past is a hard thing to let go of."

Ethan asks her if she has plans for dinner and lets her know he's made reservations at Monsoon. Erica is impressed and asks why they are going somewhere so fancy. Ethan replies that she deserves it after going through a lot in the last few days.

Just then, a man passing them on the sidewalk bumps into Erica - spilling the coffee she was holding onto the floor. He apologises profusely and hands Erica some money for her and Ethan to get another drink - pointing to a "great" coffee house just across the road.

They head to the coffee house, called Goblins, and Erica orders two small lattes. She leans on the counter and sighs and the barista, a young guy, asks her if everything is OK. Erica replies that she's fine, but explains about being bumped into and her coffee being spilled all over the street.

Ethan then joins Erica and, noticing there's something up with her, says she has been on edge all morning and asks what's bothering her. Erica bluffs that she is nervous about work, explaining that Julianne is going to be announcing who will get what new book titles.

He assures her that she will get something great, joking that, albeit not at first, Julianne now loves her. The barista then returns with their lattes, telling Erica they're on the house and advising her not to let anyone else bump into her.

Erica arrives at River Rock and is greeted by an excited Brent who begins to follow her around. She excuses herself to go to the washroom but, before she can enter, he blocks her path and tells Erica he has some information.

She wonders if it can wait, but Brent describes how he hacked into Julianne's computer and has seen the list of new books. Erica's interest captured, Brent explains that there are four new books - including an as yet untitled sex book.

Erica is surprised, and Brent says he got a tingly feeling and his jaw hit the floor when he saw it. She assures him that she's sure he is going to get it, with Brent twice commenting that he has "seniority." He tells Erica that, as the "master of libido," he feels born to edit the book.

Meeri then interrupts and informs them that they're already five minutes late for the meeting and Erica and Brent rush into the meeting room and apologise for their tardiness. Julianne quotes to them from The Secret of Now, with its author, Thomas Friedkin, explaining that Secret 89 reads "always be on time."

Julianne then starts the meeting, welcoming Friedkin, who she explains has come on board to help with their other self-help projects as well as writing his new book - The Mystery of Tomorrow.

He goes to sit down next to Erica, assuring them that he hasn't come to "bury Caesar, but to praise him" and that they shouldn't "get their knickers in a knot," confirming to a clearly unimpressed Erica that he has just said "knickers."

Julianne continues, telling them River Rock will be stepping outside of the box and traipsing down a very different road over the coming year, with Friedkin confirming their biggest title will be a sex book. Brent and Erica try to feign surprise.

She says that the book will revolutionise the sex help industry and, to everyone's surprise, announces that Erica will be the "lucky editor" to lead them through their sexual revolution. Brent is stunned at this revelation, and Erica can't believe it herself.

Julianne tells her that Erica deserves a lot of the credit for Stahl's book being put to bed in record time and, with the first few chapters of The None being so impressive, she and Galvin had concluded Erica deserved this shot. She then tells Brent he will be working on a book about origami.

After the meeting, Brent is quick to leave and Erica tries to catch him. He pretends to be power walking as Erica attempts to apologise to him, but he tells her he's fine and that it's a business.

He points to the success of Erica's last book compared to his and insists he can deal with it. Brent then leaves, although he is clearly pained when overhearing Meeri congratulate Erica.

Meanwhile, on top of a building in the city, Dr. Tom is gazing into the distance, deep in thought. Naadiah then approaches him and he tells her that he's not going to change his mind. She informs him of Erica's decision to quit, telling Dr. Tom she wants him or she's done.

He replies that it is just an initial reaction, and that Erica will come around. Naadiah wonders what will happen if she doesn't, and Dr. Tom states that if she doesn't it is her choice, before restating that he's made his.

Naadiah stands beside him, commenting that this is the Tom she remembers. He agrees with her, saying he's not cut out to be Erica's or anybody else's doctor. Naadiah suggests that Erica doesn't see it that way, but Dr. Tom reminds her that he grabbed Erica.

He describes how he got so angry he could feel it, and tells Naadiah it was just like "before" - not being able to think straight or stop himself. Dr. Tom concludes that Erica needs someone else, someone more together, and he agrees when Naadiah suggests someone like her.

She asks him why it feels like he is running away, he rejects this idea though, saying he has thought things through and that it is the right choice, adding "for Erica."

"Fear is the mind killer," Naadiah quotes at him. He tells her not to, and she agrees that it is annoying, before leaving him alone.

That evening, Erica and Ethan are at Monsoon for dinner, and she explains to him her surprise at being chosen over Brent to edit the sex book. Erica says she feels terrible, but Ethan tells her not to feel guilty and that tonight is about how great things are.

Erica agrees, describing how much has changed in the last six months and that she feels a million miles away from where she was when he first moved to Toronto. Ethan raises his glass, proposing a toast to her new project, and Erica adds to a fresh start, leaving the past behind, and looking ahead.

Just then, her cell phone rings and Ethan retrieves it for her from her purse. He notices that Dr. Naadiah is calling her, and asks Erica who she is. Erica is shocked, and tells him it is just work.

She tries to change the conversation onto what to eat, but a waiter then comes over and confirms that she is Erica Strange. He then informs her that Dr. Naadiah has called the restaurant and is on the phone for her. Ethan is surprised that she has called the restaurant, and Erica excuses herself to take care of the call.

Erica takes the phone and walks a safe distance away from the table before speaking. Dr. Naadiah apologises for the interruption, but insists that they need to talk. Erica, still walking, says they have nothing to talk about.

However, as she reminds her that she has quit, Erica suddenly finds herself passing straight through a wall and into Dr. Naadiah's office. Erica is stunned, but Dr. Naadiah tells her she's concerned she's making an impulsive decision.

Erica suggests that Dr. Naadiah doesn't know her at all, but she replies that she just wants Erica to think it through and ensure this is really what she wants. She is adamant that it is, explaining that a lot has changed in the past six months.

She tells Dr. Naadiah about being in a relationship with a man she loves, her family being closer than ever, and her career now taking off. Dr. Naadiah comments this is wonderful, and Erica describes how she is in a different place than she was when she started therapy.

Erica says she feels as though she is done with therapy, and Dr. Naadiah wonders whether her decision has nothing to do with Dr. Tom quitting. Frustrated, Erica tells her she's done and asks why she has to has to keep answering Dr. Naadiah's questions.

Dr. Naadiah explains she doesn't and, that if Erica really feels like she wants to quit, she is free to go. Pleased to hear this, Erica turns to leave, but stops in her tracks when Dr. Naadiah adds that she first must pay her debt.

Confused, she turns back around, and Dr. Naadiah tells her it is time to settle her accounts right now. Suddenly, Erica finds herself transported back in time - standing up on a bar, where she is implored to dance as she catches a pink bra thrown her way. Shocked, she ends up falling off the bar - landing in a watching guy's arms.

Afterwards, she is confronted by her angry boss, Lily, who wonders what has gotten into Erica, who she says is one of their best dancers. Erica tries to stammer a reply, and Lily tells her she should fire her - considering how many other girls would love her job.

Erica insists she needs the job and explains she is just having an off night. Lily calms down and understands, but warns Erica that people come to see her dance, not break her neck. She instructs Erica to go and do the rounds.

She does so, collecting bottles from the edge of the pool table where a disguised Dr. Naadiah is playing. She deliberately knocks the cue ball off the table, and Erica picks it up to hand it back to her.

She thanks her and Erica, recognising who it is, rages that she's going to kill her. Dr. Naadiah jokes that Erica's list of regrets is already long enough without adding another one to it.

They head into the washroom to talk and Erica asks what she's doing and that she doesn't even know what year it is. Dr. Naadiah explains that it's the summer of 1998, but Erica reminds her that she has quit.

Dr. Naadiah tells her she's not done, and questions whether Erica really thought that, for everything she has been given, she wouldn't have to give something back. Erica accepts, and asks what she has to do. Dr. Naadiah says she was helped and now Erica must help someone else in return.

Erica asks who she is supposed to help, and Dr. Naadiah replies "who indeed" before leaving Erica alone, confused.

Back behind the bar, Erica is trying to remember how to mix a Harvey Wallbanger for a customer when she spots a man she recognises down at the other end of the bar - Dr. Tom. She quickly finishes off making the customer's drink.

She asks Lily if the customer she has served said anything to her - asking about Erica or telling her something she needs to know. Lily jokes that the only thing she needs to know is he likes to drink expensive scotch, and then wonders whether an odd-acting Erica has been hit on the head.

Erica takes a break and approaches the table where sitting down is a young and more dishevelled looking Dr. Tom. She calls his name and he turns to her, looking confused. She begins to explain how glad she is to have found him and, referring to him as Dr. Tom again, admits that she knows he doesn't want to see her.

However, he interrupts her and explains to a confused Erica that, although his name is Tom, he's not a Doctor, and wonders whether the title is supposed to be some kind of flattering honorific like 'chief' or 'sir'.

He finishes off his drink and informs her he'd like another one, before admitting that, seeing as she isn't wearing her name tag, he doesn't know what she's called. Still confused, she tells him Erica Strange, and Tom comments on her interesting surname.

She takes the opportunity to enquire whether 'Tom' is all he goes by, but he replies by simply asking again for another drink. Instead, Erica sits down opposite him, and Tom groans - telling her that, although flattered, he's not the 'daddy type' she may be looking for.

Appalled by this suggestion, Erica explains she's not and is just providing superior customer service. Tom is relieved to hear this, commenting that Erica is barely older than his daughter. She is surprised by this disclosure, and he wonders why she finds it interesting that he has a daughter.

Erica bluffs that she might know her, and asks him what her name is. Tom asks again for another drink and Erica relents, apologising if he thought she was prying - which he confirms he did.

She says customers usually want to talk, but Tom suggests they come for the view - her shaking everything God gave her for tips. Erica confirms she is doing it to pay for grad school, and Tom comments that with brains and beauty she must be the complete package.

Erica jokes that, with a masters in English, she'll be the most well-read customer service rep he'll ever meet. He chuckles, and quotes to her: "I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be."

She is taking this in when Lily comes up and thrusts a cowgirl hat into her arms and telling her it's "showtime." Erica tells Tom she's has to go and strut her stuff, but asks him to promise not to go anywhere as she'll be right back.

He replies that he will, as long as she promises to bring him his scotch. Erica suggests a coffee instead and Tom threatens that he will go next door if that's the case.

She tells him she will make his drink a double if he stays and he agrees. Before she returns to the bar though, he informs her that his surname is "Wexlar."

Erica does her provocative dance on the bar, with Tom watching on, unimpressed. Afterwards, she returns to him, carrying a tray with a glass of scotch for them each. Erica informs him that she is on a break and he has her for a full 15 minutes.

Sitting down to rejoin him, she wonders whether his wife minds him spending all night alone in a bar. He shows her his left hand minus a wedding ring, asking if it looks like he's married. Erica tells him she assumed so considering he has a daughter.

Tom replies that you don't have to have a wife to have a daughter. Erica is determined that he answer the question, but he tells her that his daughter has a mother and she should leave it at that.

He then suggests that she takes a turn in the hot seat, and Erica agrees, telling him he can ask her anything he wants. Tom wonders whether her parents mind her working at the bar, but Erica points out that she isn't stripping.

Tom admits that he knows she needs the money, but she could earn cash in a million other ways. He tells her that he wouldn't allow her to work at the bar, and Erica, surprised by his attitude, replies that it's a good thing that Tom isn't her dad.

He insists that she shouldn't have to make money by teasing horny frat boys, but Erica responds that he is here, and wonders what that says about him. Tom then opens up his wallet and passes a large amount of money to Erica, explaining they are for the drinks and tips.

Erica tells him she can't accept so much, but he insists she does so she can quit her job and find another one. He concludes that she needs the money more than he does.

Then, the guy who caught Erica when she fell off the bar, approaches, and gives her back her cowgirl hat. He asks her what she's doing after her shift and Erica, obviously not interested in him, says she already has plans that involve a lot of sleep.

He tells her he likes to sleep, too, but Tom then interjects and tells him that Erica has made it plainly clear that she's not interested. The guy tells Tom to chill and explains that nobody is trying to "cockblock" him.

Erica doesn't take kindly to this comment and Tom responds angrily. The guy suggests he calms down and, pointing to the money Tom tried to give to Erica, mocks that, unlike Tom, he doesn't need to pay to score with a girl.

Tom stands up and confronts the guy, asking if he thinks it's funny to treat women like a piece of meat and suggesting he hasn't been taught how to respect them. He then launches himself at the guy, and knocks him onto the floor.

He then kicks him back onto the floor and punches him in the face a couple of times. Erica screams for him to stop, but Tom continues his attack, even throwing aside another guy who attempts to step in and stop him.

Tom then repeatedly kicks the guy in the stomach until two bouncers drag him away and throw him out of the club. Erica follows them, screaming for them to let go of Tom. Outside, she tries to see if he's OK but he shouts for her to go back inside, stay away, and leave him alone. He then walks away, leaving Erica stunned.

Back inside the bar, Erica is shocked to see a young Julianne dancing on the bar and taking off her bra. She then approaches Dr. Naadiah, and informs her she has found the guy she is supposed to help but doesn't know how to.

She says she doesn't have the training and isn't a therapist, but Dr. Naadiah suggests somebody must help him and Erica agrees that the Dr. Tom she knows in the present is not like that. She swears that Tom enjoyed hurting the guy - and could see it in his eyes.

Erica insists that she can't help him and wouldn't even know where to begin, but Dr. Naadiah suggests she hasn't tried very hard and asks Erica if she thinks Dr. Tom always knew how to help her. Erica repeats again that she's not a therapist, but Dr. Naadiah responds that she is resourceful and will think of something, before leaving.

However, as Dr. Naadiah leaves, she is confronted in a hallway by an angry Dr. Tom, who tells her she had no right. She replies that he walked away from his responsibilities to Erica and that her therapy is no longer his call or business.

Dr. Tom argues that she has taken Erica back into his past, and that makes it his business. She asks him why he cares after saying he was done. Dr. Naadiah questions why he cares what Erica does and doesn't know and why is he paying any attention to her at all. She then goes, leaving him to wonder.

Later that evening, Erica is back in her apartment searching for information about "Tom Wexlar" online and making notes on a pad of paper.

The next morning, she pays a visit to his place of work - Vadis - where she tries to gain access to Tom only to find an unhelpful secretary. She then accosts a man, and tells him she is a friend of Tom's daughter and is looking for him.

The man is surprised she is a friend of "Sarah's" and asks Erica if she knows where she is, before commenting that Sarah should be ashamed of herself. Erica tries, but fails, to persuade him to allow her to see Tom, and he instructs her to leave.

Frustrated, Erica does so, and presses the button for the elevator. However, when the doors open they reveal Dr. Naadiah's office, and Erica enters bemoaning the fact she has tried, but failed, to find Tom - and therefore can't help him.

She sits down, saying she knows nothing about Tom, but Dr. Naadiah disagrees, and tells Erica she knows more about him than she did even a day ago.

Erica begins to describe his anger management problem, his last name being Wexlar, his daughter being called Sarah, and the fact he was fired from his well-paid job. She then stops and concludes that Tom is like her, and Dr. Naadiah asks how.

She explains that, on the first day Dr. Tom found her, her life was a disaster, and compares it to the man she met in the bar who had hit rock bottom. Erica then leans forward in her chair and proclaims that Dr. Tom was a patient too.

Dr. Naadiah doesn't respond, but gets up out of her chair and asks Erica to follow her. Erica asks where they are going, and she explains they are going to see Dr. Tom.

Erica wonders what the point of her running around the city looking for him was if Dr. Naadiah could have just taken her to him. Dr. Naadiah explains that it was for context for what she is about see.

They stand in front of some blue and white curtains, which blow in the wind, and Erica steps outside to find herself on top of a building in the city. She is then shocked to spot Tom in the distance - sitting on the edge and looking down.

She begins to run towards him but then Dr. Tom steps in her way and commands her to stop, telling her that this is not her problem. Erica responds, telling him Dr. Naadiah is her therapist now and that she seems to think it is.

He pleads with her to leave it alone and tells Erica he doesn't want her to talk to him. Erica, welling up, says she has told Dr. Tom everything about her and exposed herself to him. She wonders how the Dr. Tom she knows could ever be the Tom she's met.

Erica tells Dr. Tom her purpose is to help the man who looks like he is about to throw himself off the building, but he insists that she can't help him. She concedes that, although that may be the case, she is going to try.

She runs up to Tom, who is surprised to hear her call his name. He asks how she has managed to get up to see him. Erica insists it doesn't matter, but he asks her who she is and what is going on.

Erica suggests he should think of her as a guardian angel type, but he laughs at this idea, asking where she has been for the last couple of years. Using the same quote he used to her when they first met, Erica tells Tom: "In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

He identifies it as a quote he uses and asks again who Erica is and why she has said that. She explains that it always reminds her there is a way out. Tom shakes his head, saying he doesn't think there is for him.

Erica explains that she knows how that feels and that is why she is here. She begs him not to jump, as it is not going to make anything better. Tom, starting to cry, tells her he can't live like he is anymore and that he can't see any opportunity.

She thinks for a bit and then replies that she is his opportunity, and asks him to go with her and find a better way to fix whatever there is that's wrong.

Just then, Erica hears Ethan's voice, calling her name, and she turns around. As she does, Tom jumps off the building, and Erica turns back around and screams at this sight. However, she suddenly finds herself back in the restaurant in the present day with the phone in her hand and Ethan behind her.

He asks her if she's OK and enquires what Dr. Naadiah wanted and how she knew where Erica was. She suggests that Meeri must have told her and that she won't be answering her phone anymore, and they head back to their table.

Later that evening, back in Erica's apartment, Ethan is asleep on the couch as she furiously searches online for information about Tom Wexlar. She struggles to hold back the tears as she reads the results on the search engine.

She clicks on one of the articles she finds - describing how Tom had been talked down from committing suicide off the top of the Vadis Tower. Erica can't understand what she's reading, and wipes the tears away from her eyes before standing up and pacing around, holding her head in her hands.

Suddenly, she stops, and looks to the front door of her apartment. She slowly approaches it, feeling a compulsion to open it. Leaning her head against the door and closing her eyes, she slowly turns the knob, hoping to reveal what she wants.

She opens the door to see Dr. Tom, standing in his office, looking out of the window. She enters and he turns around and they greet one another. He invites Erica to sit down, but she tells him that she saw him jump and he is supposed to be dead.

Dr. Tom explains that it's more complicated than that, but that he hasn't brought her to him to talk about that. He tells Erica he needs to apologise for breaking her trust, losing it like he did, and hurting her.

Emotional, Erica tells him that it's OK and motions to go to him, but Dr. Tom insists that it's not OK, and now she knows that it's not the first time he has lost his temper. He walks back towards the window and explains that he thought he was "done with all that."

He concedes that was obviously not the case and, as a result, decided that it was not in Erica's best interest to have him as a therapist. She asks what happened to him, and he agrees that back in 1998 he was angry.

Erica describes him as being bitter and sad - so different to how he is now, and asks Dr. Tom why. He approaches her and then, suddenly, then are both transported back in time to the city centre of Toronto.

She asks what year it is, and he explains it's 1996 and beckons her to follow him so he can show her something. He points in the distance to a group of teenagers hanging out, telling Erica that the girl there is his daughter, Sarah.

Dr. Tom explains to Erica how, when she was young, they were inseparable. However, things between her mother and him had become complicated and he had said and done things which he couldn't unsay or undo.

He describes how, after a while, Sarah had stopped coming home, but he always knew where he could find her. We then see Tom from 1996 approaching Sarah, where they engage in an argument, ending in her telling him she's never coming home.

As Dr. Tom and Erica watch, he says that this was one of many fights he and Sarah had, but he had said things he regretted on this occasion and tells her this was the last time he saw his daughter.

He explains how he didn't, and still doesn't, know whether Sarah is dead or alive and it led to him becoming more and more angry until he could feel nothing else and, one day, deciding that he was done. Erica insists that he doesn't need to explain himself to her.

However, Dr. Tom replies that he does, as he needs her to understand that when she went back and saved Leo that she did the one thing he wishes he would have done.

He explains how it triggered something inside of him and all his old feelings and things he thought he was done with had come rushing back - and he was unable to control them or himself.

Dr. Tom says a therapist can't act like that, and tells Erica that Dr. Naadiah will be a better fit for her.

Erica looks upset at this idea, and tells him that her therapy has been the craziest and most intense experience that she has ever had, but points out that he never lets her run away. Dr. Tom reminds her she made a committment and Erica responds that so did he.

She says that he promised to help her and, smiling, tells him he did. Erica concedes that while everything he has just said sounds like it makes sense, she still knows that him quitting is not the right thing.

Dr. Tom insists that he's not quitting, but just wants her to have the best therapist. Erica says that that person is him and that she doesn't care that he isn't perfect.

She understands that he thought, wrongly, that he was done making mistakes and being overwhelmed by the past and therefore needed to quit. However, she dismisses the notion of anybody ever being "done," maybe not even when they're dead.

Erica tells him she isn't done, and still has a list of regrets a mile long. She then assures him: "The one regret I don't have, Dr. Tom, is you." He smiles at these words, turns away, and then turns back to face her.

"When the student is ready, the teacher will appear," he quotes to her, suggesting in this instance that the teacher is Erica. She smiles and asks if they're good, which he confirms.
Erica sighs, expressing her relief and commenting that Dr. Naadiah's office isn't the warmest place she's ever been.

She jokes that even a throw rug or a space heater would help, and Dr. Tom tells her he'll mention it. They both nod at one another and Erica starts to walk away before turning and asking Dr. Tom if he's alive, dead, or an angel.

"For every thing there is a season and a time," he quotes to her, explaining that the time for that question has not yet come. Erica accepts this and continues to leave. She sighs again and finds herself transported back to the present day.

She is back in her apartment, where Ethan remains sleeping on the couch. Erica narrates as she goes over to stroke Ethan's hair.

"Growth is painful. Change is hard. And there are days when you wish it would just stop. Wouldn't it be great to just know, to feel like you've finally figured it all out, to just be done?

"It's the hardest and most wonderful thing about being alive. That, no matter how much you learn, grow, or change, you're never done."

Later that evening, Erica makes her way to Goblins for a coffee. She is greeted by the same barista from the morning, who asks her if the latte helped. Erica tells him it did and he asks if he can get her another one. She orders a decaf with vanilla syrup.

The barista asks his boss, Dave, where the vanilla syrup is and is told to look in the storage cupboard. He tells Erica to wait a sec, and Erica tries to tell him not to worry after all, but he pushes the door to the storage cupboard.

As he does, inside, Erica sees a garden with a man sitting behind a desk, reading. The barista walks in and the door closes. Stunned, Erica walks around to the cupboard and opens the door herself - only to find the shelves as normal.

Erica closes the door and tries to contemplate what she has just witnessed.