Season 2, Episode 12: The Importance of Being Erica
Analysis
It might be because I'm reviewing this episode after seeing Season 3, but I'm confident that the finale to Season 2 stands by itself as an excellent episode packed full of the substance and terrific acting that characterised the first two seasons.
It does the necessary job of wrapping up loose ends - notably Kai completely his prolonged stay in 2009. It also sets the scene nicely for the beginning of Season 3, as well as showing Erica's life being turned upside.
Unusually for Being Erica, it begins straight off from the cliffhanger ending to the previous episode. In doing so it immediately sets up the other crucial aspect of this episode - the end of Erica and Ethan's relationship.
Now, it's easy to paint Ethan in a negative light - as dull, safe, and boring. Maybe it's because I'm quite a cautious person like him though, that I think that would be a little harsh. After all, was he keeping Erica in the box, as she said, or was she trying to drag him out?
Or was it the simple case that one's a box dweller and one lives outside the box, hence their not right for one another? Perhaps it took them entering a relationship to find it out about themselves, although Erica must have known well that Ethan was a steady guy.
The eventual break up scene, towards the end of the episode, was superbly acted and incredibly sad.
For anyone who's been involved in such a break up, they will recognise just how realistic it was. This wasn't a break up full of hate and anger, where one of the people has done something wrong and brought things to a close.
This was the separation of two people who cared and loved about one another immensely. Two people who were friends first and foremost, who took things to the next level, but were unable to make their friendship translate into a relationship successfully.
Not because one of them wasn't trying or wasn't compromising, but because they ultimately wished for different things from life and were in different places. It's the very definition of separating - like two people who come to a fork in the road and need to take different paths.
Ethan was clearly devastated and Erica too - particularly at the hurt she was causing him. Note how she just keeps apologising and chooses to hug and comfort him. It was nice, too, how they slept on the same bed that night together before the slow goodbye.
I guess in a world of rationality and logic, the different things they wanted out of life would be things you discuss before embarking on a relationship, as they're the kinds of things which ultimately end them. But then we don't act on logic in relationships, but emotions.
Of course, it was the events of a very clever episode that led to her making the break with Ethan. It's an episode clearly about going your own way and thinking for yourself - as denoted by the title.
However, it's also clever seeing as Erica was studying The Importance of Being Earnest in her college time travel, and then you've the pun on Erica needing to be earnest in her career goals.
We initially see her torn on what to do - pulled between following Ethan's advice or going with Julianne into business. Culminating in that scene at the yoga class, where the mental and emotional torment she's under becomes too much.
That lack of direction, uncertainty about the right path, materialises itself in the corridor of doors Dr. Tom takes her to - a great concept, and surely echoing the opening titles to the start of Season 1?
In the end it took some enlightening time travel to solve her problems. It was good to see a return for Cassidy - who is always entertaining and her and Erica spark well off one another. Her disagreement with Ethan was a direct parallel with the present day too.
Note how she decided to follow Ethan's advice in how to deal with Professor Hogan only to see it make things worse. I wonder how much that played a part in Erica's decision in the present day?
In fact, the writing is superb in this episode. How easy it is to miss the clever link right at the start between Erica's narration of a "heaviness in her heart" she can't name, followed by her calling out for Ethan. I think she just named it, you know.
Anyway, Hogan provides Erica with the catalyst to make her decision - to do what she's known she's needed to do for a while in regards to her relationship, and to aspire to what she wants to do.
In all, a short, but key, time travelling experience, and the college ones are always some of the best and most fun ones too.
From a short experience to a long one, and it was a huge relief to see the Kai story brought to a close. It had dragged on and his on-off friendship with Erica became monotonous.
Still, this episode gave us some good scenes, with "Dr. Erica" on her first case helping Kai. It was a little sad at the end, after Kai had returned, how he had no longer remembered her. It was interesting to see that from a different perspective for once though.
Interesting, too, how she insists he doesn't look her up in the future or tell her about it - having seen Season 3 we know that's not the case. It was good of Dr. Fred to provide some closure for Erica on the matter - although why he was still back in the past from 2019, I don't know.
Then, that great conclusion - with a terrific sense of drama. Erica's compulsion to push the chalk outline on the wall again - and enter the corridor of doors herself showed her newly found confidence and assuredness about her future.
I'm sure that scene with Dr. Tom in the corridor will go down as one of the classic ones in the series, where we see the growth over the past two seasons to someone now not showing fear and having a desire to take the leap.
She has the confidence and bravery to chase her dreams and follow her own path. Not following Dr. Tom, not being held back by Ethan, not bowing to Julianne, but now knowing what way she wants to go. Through the door - and into the Rabbit Hole.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
The Importance of Being Erica
Season 2, Episode 12: The Importance of Being Erica
Episode Guide
Still in the kitchen, Erica can't believe that Ethan doesn't think it's a good idea, but he insists she's being impulsive. Annoyed, she apologises for even bringing the subject up and takes the unopened bottle of champagne to put back in the fridge.
He reminds her that she's just lost her first job in publishing and is now saying she wants to run her own business. Erica says a lot of people start their own companies and Ethan adds that a lot of people fail at it.
She takes this to mean he doesn't think that she can do it, with Ethan not knowing what to say to this accusation. He tries to defend himself, and says he's just being honest and that Erica doesn't know anything about running a business.
Erica says she'll figure it out, and he wonders what will happen if she can't. Ethan advises her to be realistic and asks her if she honestly believes she's a hundred per cent ready. She instantly replies yes, although begins to doubt herself and admits she doesn't know.
He says she's getting ahead of herself and jumping in totally blind. Ethan describes this as too risky and Erica sighs deeply and sits down to consider.
She concedes that he may be right and he puts his hand on her shoulder - telling her that slow and steady wins the race. Ethan then hugs her, although Erica doesn't appear happy.
The next morning, Erica wakes up in bed and stretches out her arm to Ethan's side of the bed - finding him not there. She narrates:
"Have you ever woken up and had that feeling - like something isn't right? Like you've slept all night but aren't rested? Like there's a weight, a heaviness in your heart that you can't quite name?"
She then calls out for Ethan, who opens the bedroom door on hearing his name and asks her what she's doing up. Erica jokes that she's awake by habit and he sits down on the bed and kisses her.
He asks her how she's feeling and she tells him she's OK. Ethan doubts this, but she insists that everything he said the previous night made sense and that she's just processing it. He understands and they tell one another they love each other.
Erica says she'll see him in the evening, and he replies she definitely will as he leaves to go to work. She lies back down in bed.
"Have you ever woken up in your own bed and just felt lost?"
She closes her eyes and tries to go back to sleep, only for the phone to start ringing. Erica groans and reluctantly answers it to find Julianne on the other end. Walking through the streets with a coffee, she tells Erica to rise and shine.
Erica points out that it's not even 8am, with Julianne sarcastically replying that she can tell the time. She reminds her that their level two Ashtanga class starts in less than an hour, but Erica tells her no.
Julianne warns her that it's a slippery slope and one morning she will sit down to watch Oprah and two years later she'll be agoraphobic, morbidly obese, and sharing her apartment with 53 cats. She concludes this is a cautionary tale.
Erica is annoyed she won't allow her to sleep in, and Julianne states that not only is it their yoga class but also their first business meeting and she hangs up after telling Erica to get a move on.
Meanwhile, at Goblins, Jody meets with Kai and Travis where he tells them that their demo was righteous, although raw. He checks that they got the song he sent them, which Travis does and informs him that the band is working on it.
Jody's pleased to hear it and asks Kai what he thinks of the songs. Kai seems to lack enthusement, saying that while the song is OK it's also commercial. Jody suggests this isn't a bad thing, and that their sound is a bit too garage band.
Kai checks that if they sign with him and sing his song then he'll get them a record deal. Jody says he will overnight and Kai wonders if they do whether it will be them or him who steers their ship.
Travis is surprised by the tone of Kai's questioning, and Jody thinks for a moment before saying that he's invited some guys to the open mic night at Goblins. He says if they play the song then everything will be golden.
He gets up to leave and warns them if they blow it then they'll be gone before the chorus. He then goes, telling them he'll see them in the evening. Agitated, Travis stands up and wonders if Kai is insane over his questions and reminds him that Jody wants to sign them.
Kai insists they have to protect themselves, but Travis warns him that if he screws it up for them then the band and their friendship will be over. He goes, leaving a shocked Kai.
At the yoga class, Erica arrives and greets Julianne. She sits down on the mat next to Julianne, who tells her that she loved the manuscript. Erica thinks this is great, although her face suggests otherwise.
Julianne, spotting this, reiterates that she liked the book and suggests Erica should be happy. Erica insists she is, but says she can't start a business. Julianne can't believe what she's saying and wonders why.
However, before Erica can explain the yoga instructor, Jess, begins the lesson. She instructs them to take things at their own pace and listen to their body. The class begins as Jess tells them to move in different positions.
As they do, she wanders around - checking how everyone is getting on. She notices Erica struggling and tries to help her hold her position and breathe properly. Erica begins gasping for air though and then loses her position and breaks down in tears.
Jess comforts her, rubbing her back, and assuring her that it happens and that Erica's just releasing what she's feeling. Julianne stops, concerned for Erica, who then excuses herself from the class in tears.
Erica tries to make a hasty exit, but Julianne catches up with her outside and tells her to hold up. She asks her what's wrong and Erica admits she doesn't know and is acting insane. Julianne wonders if it's about their plan and the manuscript and wants to know why Erica said she couldn't do it.
She replies that she talked with Ethan and decided that it was too risky, stating that she's barely a junior editor. Julianne tells her to stop, and admits that the previous day she'd been a "Debbie Downer" but she'd then thought about what Erica said and realised she was right.
Julianne says they have an amazing opportunity to do something bigger and enthuses that they're both smart, have had successes, and both want it. She asks Erica to confirm that she wants it, which she does.
She advises Erica that without risk there's no reward, and Erica admits that she's so confused. Julianne takes her hand and asks her to think about it, which Erica agrees to.
Meanwhile, Kai walks down the street when suddenly Dr. Fred walks up behind him. He begins walking with Kai and tells him he looks like a man on a mission. Kai explains that he's done fighting and states that Dr. Fred, Erica, and everybody wants him to finish his regret and he's sick of arguing about it.
He asks him what he's going to do and Kai explains he's going to finish the song and go back. Dr. Fred stops in front of him and says that the question is whether Kai's happy. Kai wonders if he looks happy, stating that his apartment runs out of hot water every morning and he can barely afford to eat.
Kai bemoans how all his friends act like teenagers and how he resents Travis - who now hates him. Dr. Fred guesses that Kai feels like he's made things worse and not better and Kai admits that he's worn down and he now understands that whatever he does he can't save Travis.
Dr. Fred says that therapy isn't about changing the past and never was, provoking an angry response from Kai, who asks what the point of it is. He tells Kai that it's for him to figure out, before walking off.
Elsewhere, Erica sits on a bench, deep in thought. Dr. Tom then approaches and sits down next to her. She waits for him to say something but he doesn't, and she eventually tells him that she's lost.
He pretends to be surprised and jokes that she's only three blocks from her house and points her in the right direction. Erica throws a wearied look at his attempt to be funny and Dr. Tom takes it that she means the other kind of lost.
Erica explains that Ethan's reasons for not opening a business totally make sense, but that what Julianne said also did. She asks Dr. Tom whose advice she should follow. He sighs, then gets up from the bench and, motioning with his head, says he wants to show her something and asks her to come with him.
He walks over towards a wall of a building and removes a stick of chalk from his jacket pocket. Dr. Tom uses the chalk to draw the outline of a door on the wall and Erica watches him, confused, and checking to see if they're being watched.
When finished drawing, Dr. Tom puts the chalk back in his pocket and steps back from the wall. He tells Erica that: "Every wall is a door," and she nods her head in understanding. He then tells her to go ahead and push the outline.
She indulges him and is shocked to discover the wall moving when she pushes it. Excited, Erica pushes harder and finds the outline moving inwards, like a door. Pushing the door all the way open, she steps into a narrow passage, followed by Dr. Tom.
The door closes behind them and they begin to walk down the passage. Erica asks Dr. Tom where they're going, although he simply replies "Where indeed?"
They eventually emerge into a wide hallway, filled with doors of all different kinds and colours. Erica struggles to comprehend her surroundings and Dr. Tom then instructs her to choose a door.
She wonders if she just choose any door, although he doesn't reply. Erica asks him to help her out and give her some context, asking him what she's supposed to do and how does she choose.
Dr. Tom merely quotes to her though: "One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire Cat. 'Which road do I take?' she asked. 'Where do you want to go?' was his response. 'I don't know,' answered Alice. 'Then,' said the cat, 'It doesn't matter.'"
Erica says she doesn't understand and he tells her it's not complicated as she can't stay in the hallway forever and she has to choose. She laughs nervously at this and wonders how she is supposed to decide.
Dr. Tom asks her which one feels right and she replies that she honestly doesn't know. Suddenly, he turns around and walks quickly towards one of the doors - opens it, enters, and closes the door behind him.
Left alone in the hallway, Erica looks around, unsure of what to do. She calls out to Dr. Tom, asking him to wait, and rushes towards the door he entered. She opens it and finds herself entering his office.
He turns around and, with a rueful smile, remarks that she followed him. Erica wonders where else she was expected to go. Dr. Tom takes this on board and, moving over to his desk, picks up her list and asks her to tell him about 'Silly Fingers.'
She asks him to wait a second, reminding Dr. Tom that he just threw her down the rabbit hole and she has no idea why. Erica asks if they can back up and, removing his jacket, he begins to explain that she had three choices.
He says choice one was choose a door, choice two was to stay in the hallway undecided, or choice three was to follow him. Erica makes her way over to her chair and concedes that she clearly made the wrong choice but only because she doesn't understand what he's trying to tell her.
Sitting down opposite her, Dr. Tom says that's why he wants to discuss 'Silly Fingers' and Erica begins to recount the tale. She says it was in 1999, when she'd just started her Masters programme.
Erica explains that she was working part time as a TA to her thesis advisor - Professor Audrey Hogan. She says she'd fought to get her and then lived to regret it - describing Hogan as brilliant but someone who didn't fool suffer fools and how everyone, including herself, was terrified of her.
She says that whenever Hogan would do something that would stress her out she'd email Cassidy - whose office was just down the hall from hers - and they'd write the most awful things.
Erica recalls how one time Hogan had got her really worked up so she emailed Cassidy, who emailed back. However, instead of hitting reply, she forwarded the message to Hogan by mistake.
She says she didn't even know she'd done it until an hour later when she was called into Hogan's office to be informed she was withdrawing as her thesis advisor, and Erica was formally reprimanded and assigned to a new professor who basically ignored her.
Erica sighs, saying she used to love academics and thrived in that world until her Masters. She says that Hogan and the whole stupid incident tarnished it for her. Leaning forward, Dr. Tom suggests that Erica is saying she might have stayed on and got her PhD.
She says she might have, and he asks her what she'd do differently if she could go back. Erica replies that she obviously wouldn't have sent the email and, at that moment, suddenly finds herself transported back where she's sitting in front of a computer.
Erica stumbles forward in her shock, just managing to avoid clicking the mouse to send the email to Hogan. She gasps in relief but as she gets up from her chair she knocks the desk and a book falls down onto the mouse.
The mouse clicks down and sends the email to Hogan - as Erica exclaims in despair that the email has again been sent. Panicking, she quickly rushes out of her office and into a hallway where she encounters Cassidy.
She grabs Cassidy by the hand and pulls her away from a conversation she's having. Cassidy asks Erica what's wrong and she explains that she accidentally forwarded the email to Hogan rather than replying to her.
Cassidy takes this in and they both rush down the stairs towards Hogan's office. When they arrive there though, they find her secretary is outside her office on the phone. Erica suggests they will have to abort their mission to intercept the email.
However, Cassidy tells her not to worry and removes a folder from her bag before approaching the secretary's desk. She tells her she needs to speak to Hogan, but is informed that she's not in and the secretary asks if she can give her a message.
Cassidy says that Hogan gave her a 'D' on a paper that she can't afford to get. The secretary says she can't help her, at which point Cassidy reaches over and snatches the contacts' book from her desk, saying that she'll have to call Hogan at home herself.
The secretary ends her phone call and rushes towards Cassidy, telling her she can't look in the book. Cassidy asks why, wondering if the secretary is going to call security. Erica realises that, with the secretary distracted, she has the chance to access Hogan's office.
As Cassidy continues to rant to the secretary, Erica sneaks into Hogan's office and goes over to her computer. She finds the email she mistakenly sent in her inbox and deletes it before hurrying out.
She greets Cassidy, who pretends to re-explain her dilemma to Erica - who assures her she's going to be fine and says that they should go. The secretary says Hogan will be back any minute and suggests Cassidy can wait.
Erica guides Cassidy away though, saying it will be better if she cools down. They both leave, agreeing how bad it would have been had Hogan got the email.
Later, during Hogan's lecture, Erica gazes around, not listening, as she takes in being back in familiar surroundings. Hogan talks about The Importance Of Being Earnest and debates with another student.
Hogan then asks Erica what her view is, noticing that she's not been paying attention. Caught out, Erica hesitates before replying that both Hogan and the student have made good points before offering a general comment about the characters.
Unimpressed, Hogan sarcastically thanks her for her summary, but tells Erica that she asked her for her point of view. Erica doesn't know what to say, and Hogan takes this to mean that she doesn't have one.
Afterwards, Erica pays a visit to Hogan's office where she's told they're meeting to discuss her thesis proposal. Erica says she'd like to talk about what happened in class, which surprises Hogan.
She concedes that it's Erica's choice, but informs her that her time is valuable and that, while she could spend it rehashing events from the morning, it would be better spent presenting her proposal.
Erica agrees, and says her thesis will be about hidden feminism in Bronte's Jane Eyre. Hogan is inmoved by this suggestion, but says she isn't going to stand in her way if she wishes to choose the blandest thesis topic.
This description shocks Erica, who says she's put a lot of research into it. Hogan acknowledges that she probably has but that Erica must know that as thesis topics go it's pedestrian, boring, and been done. Erica is dumbfounded, but Hogan tells her her thesis is approved and asks her to leave.
Erica discusses what happened as she walks with Ethan and Cassidy. She states that even though she didn't send the email she swears Hogan hates her even more than before. Cassidy suggests that Hogan is crazy, considering how smart, talented, and adorable she is.
She advises Erica to tell Hogan to shove it, which shocks Ethan. Cassidy argues that just because Hogan has a PhD it doesn't make her a God. She tells Erica to confront her and tell her off.
Ethan says that's the worst idea, although Erica reminds him of how when she stood up to Lozar things had got better. He makes the point that Lozar wasn't the head of the English Department though.
Cassidy can't believe Ethan's attitude, suggesting they teach him blind submission in teacher's college. He wonders why she's chewing his head off, and she replies that university is about passion and original thought and taking a stand - reminding them of the '60s and Vietnam.
Ethan says that most students in the '60s weren't sticking flowers in guns and taking acid trips at Woodstock. He tells Cassidy that they were at university to learn and graduate and get real jobs.
Irritated by his attitude, Cassidy says she has to go. Erica tries to make her stay, but Cassidy says that if everyone was as complacent as Ethan then her and Erica wouldn't even be allowed to go to university.
She leaves, and Ethan suggests to Erica that Cassidy needs to chill out. He tells her that she can't afford to alienate her advisor and she needs to win over Hogan. Exasperated, Erica asks how and says she has no idea what Hogan wants.
Ethan suggests that she asks Hogan and gets her involved. He says that people love being asked for their advice and that that's what he'd do, and Erica considers this advice.
Later on, she catches up with Hogan, who is in a hurry, to talk. They walk and talk as Erica explains that she's been thinking about what what Hogan had said about her thesis. She says the last thing she wants to do is present a topic that's underwhelming.
Hogan enquires if she has another topic in mind and Erica wonders if she has any ideas or suggestions. This comment makes Hogan stop in her place and, astonished, she suggests Erica is asking her to come up with her thesis proposal .
Erica denies this and says she's just asking for some guidance. Hogan disagrees though and suggests Erica is asking her to do the work for her. She asks Erica to remind her why exactly she's in the Masters programme.
She struggles to answer this question before saying she's just trying to give Hogan what she wants. Annoyed, Hogan tells Erica it has nothing to do with her, and that it's her thesis, her degree, and her life.
Hogan tells Erica to figure it out and to do it with another thesis advisor, stating that she doesn't have the time for it. Erica can't believe the turn of events and suggests she can't just quit. Hogan says she can though and walks off leaving her astounded.
The next day, Erica turns up early to see Hogan in the lecture theatre. She asks what Erica is doing there, and she replies that she needs to talk to her. Hogan tells her she's not going to change her mind, which Erica accepts.
Erica asks what she did to make Hogan dislike her. Hogan tells her that Erica never answered the question about why she is in the Masters programme. Erica replies that she needs her degree - but this answer doesn't impress Hogan.
She informs Erica that when she was her age there wasn't one tenured female professor in the faculty, but that she didn't care because she knew this was what she was meant to do.
She wonders if Erica knows how frustrating it is to watch students wasting years hiding out at university when they could be pursuing their dreams. Erica asks how Hogan knows she's hiding out and she replies because Erica can't answer the most basic question of why she's there.
Erica, once more, struggles to reply, and Hogan tells her she's a bright girl and asks what she wants to do with her life. After thinking, Erica eventually replies that she wants to be an editor and publish books and, suddenly having got clarity, that she wants to start her own company - as crazy as it sounds.
Impressed, Hogan explains how thirty years ago she'd told her father that one day she wanted to chair the English Department he laughed in her face. She advises Erica to leave the degrees to the academics and to follow her heart - and not let anyone try and stop her.
Inspired by this, Erica smiles to herself and begins to walk away. She turns around and thanks Hogan who tells her she's welcome. Erica walks out of the lecture theatre but finds herself passing out of the wall through the chalk outlined door in the present day.
Almost immediately, she gets her cell phone out of her bag and calls Julianne, and asks her what she's doing.
They meet up for a coffee and Erica says that if her crazy nervous breakdown didn't put her off the idea that she'd still really like to go into business together. Julianne reminds her that in the morning Erica was saying it was all too risky and now she's saying it's peachy, and asks her what the deal is.
Erica says that Ethan convinced her that it was a bad idea, and Julianne suggests that maybe it is for him, but that he's not her. She wonders what this means, and Julianne says that Ethan isn't exactly Jean Claude Van Damme and that he plays it pretty safe, although Erica insists he'll come around.
Julianne accepts this and says she just wants to make sure before she says yes that Erica isn't going to change her mind again or let Ethan change it for her. Erica promises and they hug one another, excited, and Julianne tells her how stoked she is, referring to Erica as her partner.
Back home, Erica is working at her desk when there's a knock at the door. She checks through the spy hole to see who's there before opening the door to Kai. She asks what he's doing there and he acknowledges that she said she needed her space.
Kai says he's not there to get in her way, but he needs to tell her something. Erica asks him what's wrong and he explains that he's finished his regret and writing Alien Like You but is still in 2009. Her wonders why he's still stuck in the past.
Inside her apartment, Kai explains how he doesn't understand and wonders if Dr. Fred is messing with him and if it's some kind of test. Erica, pouring a glass of water, says that everything is a test with therapists and she wonders what made him finally go through with the regret.
Kai says when he first got back things were great - Travis was alive and there was no money or drugs. Erica concludes that he made the decision to stay and Kai confirms so, saying it was great for a while but he now feels like he's messing it up with the band and Travis.
He says he keeps trying to change things and it's not working, and Erica tells him that therapy isn't really about changing the past. Kai replies that this is what Dr. Fred said, and she tells him it's true and that you learn that little lesson pretty quick.
Frustrated, Kai asks what the point is and what they want him to do. Erica suggests that it's called therapy for a reason. She says that changing the past is easy but changing yourself is much harder.
She tells him that he needs figure out why he's really here. Kai wonders how and says he has no idea. Erica suddenly has a thought and moves a chair from the table and positions it opposite her desk.
He asks what she's doing and Erica replies that she's helping him. She invites him to sit down, prompting him to call her "Dr. Erica." She asks him to indulge her and they sit down facing one another on opposite sides of the desk.
Erica suggests they go back to the beginning and, putting on a Freudian/Austrian accent, asks him to explain why Alien Like You was a regret. Kai says that if they're going to talk about it then she has to act like a normal person and Erica apologises for getting a little carried away.
He explains that the song was honest and was how he felt when he wrote it. Kai says he wasn't trying to please anyone or sell records. Erica suggests that he was just being true to himself, which he agrees with.
Erica thinks for a bit and says that if she was Dr. Tom then she would say, quoting Shakespeare: "This above all, to all thine own self be true." She admits it sounds so much better when he does it, but Kai gets what she's saying.
She asks him how he can be true to himself in his current situation and what he can do. Kai stops to consider and suddenly has a dawning.
That evening, Kai and Erica go to a packed Goblins and he suggests he should go and find his band mates. He asks her if it all works and he goes back what it will be like when he gets there. She replies that it will be the same for the most part.
Kai asks if he'll remember everything and her. She confirms so, which he's pleased to hear. He asks whether he should look her up in the future and Erica pleads with him not to and, if he does, not to tell her as it would be too weird to think about it.
She adds that she'd be 40, and he jokes that she'd actually be 42. Erica smiles and tells him she's going to miss him. He assures her she's going to be fine and reminds her that she has Ethan. Erica nods her head and Kai suggests she won't even notice he's gone.
Emotional, she says she will. He tries to comfort her but Erica kisses him on the cheek. She tells Kai to go and find his band mates and that she'll come and see him afterwards and he leaves.
On stage, Dave introduces Head as Erica and Jody watch on. Kai makes his way to the mic, but not before putting his arm around Travis and apologising for letting him down of late. Travis tells him not to worry about it and they hug.
Kai's behaviour prompts Travis to ask him if he's OK, and Kai insists he's great and he addresses the crowd over the mic, asking them how they're doing. He tells them he's going to play a song called Alien Like You.
This surprises Travis and Jody bows his head at the news. Kai explains that it took him a while to finish the song and they're the first ones to hear it in its entirety. He gets ready to play, but before he can Travis puts his hand over the mic and questions what Kai is doing.
Kai rebuffs him though and begins to play and sing. Erica and Jody watch on, intrigued, as Kai sings and, eventually, Travis begins to play along with him.
As she listens, Erica reflects upon the time she's spent with Kai - from their first meeting, to the do-over day where he ended up kissing her, and their many encounters at Goblins. When Kai finishes she enthusiastically applauds along with the rest of the audience.
Afterwards, Jody talks to the band and tells them to hire a lawyer as they'll have to sign some contracts the next day. He shakes Kai's hand, as he tells them he has balls for choosing to play his own song like that.
At that moment, Kai appears to change and Travis hugs and congratulates him. Erica then comes bounding up to him, calling his name, grabbing him by the hand, and telling him how incredible it was.
He gives her a vague look as he politely thanks her though. Erica tells him it was perfect and that she's so glad he sung the song. Kai continues to look blankly at her though and, telling her he doesn't mean to be rude, explains that he has a terrible memory for names.
Erica realises that he doesn't know her and that the Kai she knew has been transported back to the future. She hides her disappointment as Kai asks her who she is and she tells him she's nobody and just a fan. He thanks her and she walks off and glances back to see Kai celebrating with his band mates.
Back at her apartment, she returns home to find Ethan sitting on the couch, reading, and he asks where she was. Erica apologises for not leaving a message, explaining that she got caught up and before she knew it, it was late.
Ethan says that if she didn't have dinner that there's leftover pasta in the fridge which he can heat up if she's hungry. She replies that she's not really hungry though and sits down next to him on the couch.
Erica explains that there's lots going on in her head and she needs to talk about it. Ethan puts down his book as she begins to tells him how she met with Julianne and how she's going into business with her.
He takes this in and wonders what she expects him to say. Erica says she wants him to say he understands and that he gets how much it means to her. Ethan says he can't, as he doesn't understand why she wants to take on that kind of stress and turn her life upside down.
Erica replies that it's exciting and challenging and, while she know he's just looking out for her, pleads with him to back her up on it. Ethan shakes his head and apologises, and she reminds him it's her career.
He gets up from the couch and tells her it's their life together and that they have to start thinking about the future and what they want. Erica accepts this and asks what exactly that is. Ethan replies that it's not this or her running from job to job - getting fired one day and opening a business the next.
Erica begins to explain that if the situation was reversed and he guesses that she'd support him and that she thinks he's being a shitty boyfriend because he's being honest. She denies that's what she's saying but he tells her that the situation wouldn't be reversed because he wouldn't do it.
She understands this to mean that there's nothing else he wants and that he's got it all. Ethan replies that he's got a career he loves, and friends, and - sitting back down beside Erica - says he has her.
Erica asks him about ten years time, and he suggests they'd be married, have kids, a dog, and a house. She listens to this description, stony-faced. He says he'll still be teaching and she'd be working and life is simple and they'd be happy.
She lets out a big sigh when she hears this and puts her face in her hands. Ethan puts his hand on her shoulder and asks if she's crying. Erica insists she isn't, but gets up from the couch. She tells him she's freaking out and he says that he thought that she wanted it.
Erica admits that she did, but that right now they're in completely different places. Ethan shakes his head in disbelief and Erica continues saying there's a voice inside her telling her something she doesn't want to hear.
Ethan tries to interject, as she explains how she's trying so hard not to hear it. He listens in silence as Erica concludes that she doesn't think they're right for each other. Ethan finds this incredulous.
She sits back down and, struggling to contain her emotions, says there's no amount of talking that's going to fix it and that it's a fundamental difference between them.
Erica says whether it's their sex life, or her career, or the future, that every time she tries to step outside the box a little it's like he tries to keep pushing her in. She finally tells Ethan that she thinks they should break up.
Astounded and trying not to cry, Ethan tells her not to and suggests that she's overreacting and that they're just having a conversation. He says that you don't just give up, but she interrupts him to insists she's not giving up.
She warns that if they keep going they're going to keep pulling in different directions until they tear apart. Ethan bows his head and struggles to hold back the tears. Erica says that even though she can't stand the thought of him not in her life she can't keep shutting out the voice inside telling her they aren't right.
Ethan says he can't believe what's happening and Erica tells him how sorry she is. They both cry and she keeps apologising as he struggles to look at her. Eventually she hugs him and holds him against her.
That evening, they lie next to one another on the bed, both struggling to sleep. The next morning, Ethan packs up his belongings and leaves the apartment. Erica cries to herself on the bed and over time packs his things into a box and adapts to him being gone.
Judith pays her a visit to cheer her up and they go out to Goblins. When they arrive, she asks if Erica is sure she wants to have drinks there, but Erica says it's fine and she insists that it has a lot of good memories.
Erica goes to find them a table as Judith offers to buy the drinks - which Erica jokes is a good thing seeing as she's unemployed. As she sits down, Dr. Fred approaches her table and joins her.
He tells her that he won't find Kai there and she replies that for some reason she kind of knew that. Dr. Fred explains that Kai quit yesterday when Jody signed the band and that he's already got them working on their line-up for V Fest.
Erica thinks this is fast and Dr. Fred says Jody's striking while the iron is hot. She asks him about the Kai she knows, and he informs her that he's adjusting, suggesting she remembers what it was like, which she admits she does. He thanks her for her help and leaves.
Later, Erica walks home alone, passing the wall where the chalk outlined door that Dr. Tom drew still remains. She stops and looks at it and then slowly advances towards it. She decides to re-enter the hallway of doors and finds Dr. Tom waiting there for her.
He greets her and she asks him where he's been. Dr. Tom says he's been waiting until she was ready. Erica begins to walk towards him, explaining that she broke up with Ethan - which he tells her he knows.
She adds that Kai has gone back to where he belongs, and she now has no job and no boyfriend. Dr. Tom asks her how that feels and Erica admits it feels scary but strangely OK. He smiles and asks her why that is.
Erica says that talking to Ethan made her realise how much she's changed. She tells Dr. Tom that everything he's taught her has made her braver somehow and that fear no longer holds her back but actually motivates her, wondering if that makes sense.
Dr. Tom smiles to himself and takes a deep breath. Looking around the hallway, he walks away from Erica and tells her that: "We cannot teach people anything, we can only help them discover it within themselves."
She smiles and he tells her it's time. Dr. Tom instructs Erica to, once more, choose a door. She begins to look around at the doors before selecting an old-looking wooden door. She opens it, steps inside, and closes it behind her and he watches her walk in.
Episode Guide
Still in the kitchen, Erica can't believe that Ethan doesn't think it's a good idea, but he insists she's being impulsive. Annoyed, she apologises for even bringing the subject up and takes the unopened bottle of champagne to put back in the fridge.
He reminds her that she's just lost her first job in publishing and is now saying she wants to run her own business. Erica says a lot of people start their own companies and Ethan adds that a lot of people fail at it.
She takes this to mean he doesn't think that she can do it, with Ethan not knowing what to say to this accusation. He tries to defend himself, and says he's just being honest and that Erica doesn't know anything about running a business.
Erica says she'll figure it out, and he wonders what will happen if she can't. Ethan advises her to be realistic and asks her if she honestly believes she's a hundred per cent ready. She instantly replies yes, although begins to doubt herself and admits she doesn't know.
He says she's getting ahead of herself and jumping in totally blind. Ethan describes this as too risky and Erica sighs deeply and sits down to consider.
She concedes that he may be right and he puts his hand on her shoulder - telling her that slow and steady wins the race. Ethan then hugs her, although Erica doesn't appear happy.
The next morning, Erica wakes up in bed and stretches out her arm to Ethan's side of the bed - finding him not there. She narrates:
"Have you ever woken up and had that feeling - like something isn't right? Like you've slept all night but aren't rested? Like there's a weight, a heaviness in your heart that you can't quite name?"
She then calls out for Ethan, who opens the bedroom door on hearing his name and asks her what she's doing up. Erica jokes that she's awake by habit and he sits down on the bed and kisses her.
He asks her how she's feeling and she tells him she's OK. Ethan doubts this, but she insists that everything he said the previous night made sense and that she's just processing it. He understands and they tell one another they love each other.
Erica says she'll see him in the evening, and he replies she definitely will as he leaves to go to work. She lies back down in bed.
"Have you ever woken up in your own bed and just felt lost?"
She closes her eyes and tries to go back to sleep, only for the phone to start ringing. Erica groans and reluctantly answers it to find Julianne on the other end. Walking through the streets with a coffee, she tells Erica to rise and shine.
Erica points out that it's not even 8am, with Julianne sarcastically replying that she can tell the time. She reminds her that their level two Ashtanga class starts in less than an hour, but Erica tells her no.
Julianne warns her that it's a slippery slope and one morning she will sit down to watch Oprah and two years later she'll be agoraphobic, morbidly obese, and sharing her apartment with 53 cats. She concludes this is a cautionary tale.
Erica is annoyed she won't allow her to sleep in, and Julianne states that not only is it their yoga class but also their first business meeting and she hangs up after telling Erica to get a move on.
Meanwhile, at Goblins, Jody meets with Kai and Travis where he tells them that their demo was righteous, although raw. He checks that they got the song he sent them, which Travis does and informs him that the band is working on it.
Jody's pleased to hear it and asks Kai what he thinks of the songs. Kai seems to lack enthusement, saying that while the song is OK it's also commercial. Jody suggests this isn't a bad thing, and that their sound is a bit too garage band.
Kai checks that if they sign with him and sing his song then he'll get them a record deal. Jody says he will overnight and Kai wonders if they do whether it will be them or him who steers their ship.
Travis is surprised by the tone of Kai's questioning, and Jody thinks for a moment before saying that he's invited some guys to the open mic night at Goblins. He says if they play the song then everything will be golden.
He gets up to leave and warns them if they blow it then they'll be gone before the chorus. He then goes, telling them he'll see them in the evening. Agitated, Travis stands up and wonders if Kai is insane over his questions and reminds him that Jody wants to sign them.
Kai insists they have to protect themselves, but Travis warns him that if he screws it up for them then the band and their friendship will be over. He goes, leaving a shocked Kai.
At the yoga class, Erica arrives and greets Julianne. She sits down on the mat next to Julianne, who tells her that she loved the manuscript. Erica thinks this is great, although her face suggests otherwise.
Julianne, spotting this, reiterates that she liked the book and suggests Erica should be happy. Erica insists she is, but says she can't start a business. Julianne can't believe what she's saying and wonders why.
However, before Erica can explain the yoga instructor, Jess, begins the lesson. She instructs them to take things at their own pace and listen to their body. The class begins as Jess tells them to move in different positions.
As they do, she wanders around - checking how everyone is getting on. She notices Erica struggling and tries to help her hold her position and breathe properly. Erica begins gasping for air though and then loses her position and breaks down in tears.
Jess comforts her, rubbing her back, and assuring her that it happens and that Erica's just releasing what she's feeling. Julianne stops, concerned for Erica, who then excuses herself from the class in tears.
Erica tries to make a hasty exit, but Julianne catches up with her outside and tells her to hold up. She asks her what's wrong and Erica admits she doesn't know and is acting insane. Julianne wonders if it's about their plan and the manuscript and wants to know why Erica said she couldn't do it.
She replies that she talked with Ethan and decided that it was too risky, stating that she's barely a junior editor. Julianne tells her to stop, and admits that the previous day she'd been a "Debbie Downer" but she'd then thought about what Erica said and realised she was right.
Julianne says they have an amazing opportunity to do something bigger and enthuses that they're both smart, have had successes, and both want it. She asks Erica to confirm that she wants it, which she does.
She advises Erica that without risk there's no reward, and Erica admits that she's so confused. Julianne takes her hand and asks her to think about it, which Erica agrees to.
Meanwhile, Kai walks down the street when suddenly Dr. Fred walks up behind him. He begins walking with Kai and tells him he looks like a man on a mission. Kai explains that he's done fighting and states that Dr. Fred, Erica, and everybody wants him to finish his regret and he's sick of arguing about it.
He asks him what he's going to do and Kai explains he's going to finish the song and go back. Dr. Fred stops in front of him and says that the question is whether Kai's happy. Kai wonders if he looks happy, stating that his apartment runs out of hot water every morning and he can barely afford to eat.
Kai bemoans how all his friends act like teenagers and how he resents Travis - who now hates him. Dr. Fred guesses that Kai feels like he's made things worse and not better and Kai admits that he's worn down and he now understands that whatever he does he can't save Travis.
Dr. Fred says that therapy isn't about changing the past and never was, provoking an angry response from Kai, who asks what the point of it is. He tells Kai that it's for him to figure out, before walking off.
Elsewhere, Erica sits on a bench, deep in thought. Dr. Tom then approaches and sits down next to her. She waits for him to say something but he doesn't, and she eventually tells him that she's lost.
He pretends to be surprised and jokes that she's only three blocks from her house and points her in the right direction. Erica throws a wearied look at his attempt to be funny and Dr. Tom takes it that she means the other kind of lost.
Erica explains that Ethan's reasons for not opening a business totally make sense, but that what Julianne said also did. She asks Dr. Tom whose advice she should follow. He sighs, then gets up from the bench and, motioning with his head, says he wants to show her something and asks her to come with him.
He walks over towards a wall of a building and removes a stick of chalk from his jacket pocket. Dr. Tom uses the chalk to draw the outline of a door on the wall and Erica watches him, confused, and checking to see if they're being watched.
When finished drawing, Dr. Tom puts the chalk back in his pocket and steps back from the wall. He tells Erica that: "Every wall is a door," and she nods her head in understanding. He then tells her to go ahead and push the outline.
She indulges him and is shocked to discover the wall moving when she pushes it. Excited, Erica pushes harder and finds the outline moving inwards, like a door. Pushing the door all the way open, she steps into a narrow passage, followed by Dr. Tom.
The door closes behind them and they begin to walk down the passage. Erica asks Dr. Tom where they're going, although he simply replies "Where indeed?"
They eventually emerge into a wide hallway, filled with doors of all different kinds and colours. Erica struggles to comprehend her surroundings and Dr. Tom then instructs her to choose a door.
She wonders if she just choose any door, although he doesn't reply. Erica asks him to help her out and give her some context, asking him what she's supposed to do and how does she choose.
Dr. Tom merely quotes to her though: "One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire Cat. 'Which road do I take?' she asked. 'Where do you want to go?' was his response. 'I don't know,' answered Alice. 'Then,' said the cat, 'It doesn't matter.'"
Erica says she doesn't understand and he tells her it's not complicated as she can't stay in the hallway forever and she has to choose. She laughs nervously at this and wonders how she is supposed to decide.
Dr. Tom asks her which one feels right and she replies that she honestly doesn't know. Suddenly, he turns around and walks quickly towards one of the doors - opens it, enters, and closes the door behind him.
Left alone in the hallway, Erica looks around, unsure of what to do. She calls out to Dr. Tom, asking him to wait, and rushes towards the door he entered. She opens it and finds herself entering his office.
He turns around and, with a rueful smile, remarks that she followed him. Erica wonders where else she was expected to go. Dr. Tom takes this on board and, moving over to his desk, picks up her list and asks her to tell him about 'Silly Fingers.'
She asks him to wait a second, reminding Dr. Tom that he just threw her down the rabbit hole and she has no idea why. Erica asks if they can back up and, removing his jacket, he begins to explain that she had three choices.
He says choice one was choose a door, choice two was to stay in the hallway undecided, or choice three was to follow him. Erica makes her way over to her chair and concedes that she clearly made the wrong choice but only because she doesn't understand what he's trying to tell her.
Sitting down opposite her, Dr. Tom says that's why he wants to discuss 'Silly Fingers' and Erica begins to recount the tale. She says it was in 1999, when she'd just started her Masters programme.
Erica explains that she was working part time as a TA to her thesis advisor - Professor Audrey Hogan. She says she'd fought to get her and then lived to regret it - describing Hogan as brilliant but someone who didn't fool suffer fools and how everyone, including herself, was terrified of her.
She says that whenever Hogan would do something that would stress her out she'd email Cassidy - whose office was just down the hall from hers - and they'd write the most awful things.
Erica recalls how one time Hogan had got her really worked up so she emailed Cassidy, who emailed back. However, instead of hitting reply, she forwarded the message to Hogan by mistake.
She says she didn't even know she'd done it until an hour later when she was called into Hogan's office to be informed she was withdrawing as her thesis advisor, and Erica was formally reprimanded and assigned to a new professor who basically ignored her.
Erica sighs, saying she used to love academics and thrived in that world until her Masters. She says that Hogan and the whole stupid incident tarnished it for her. Leaning forward, Dr. Tom suggests that Erica is saying she might have stayed on and got her PhD.
She says she might have, and he asks her what she'd do differently if she could go back. Erica replies that she obviously wouldn't have sent the email and, at that moment, suddenly finds herself transported back where she's sitting in front of a computer.
Erica stumbles forward in her shock, just managing to avoid clicking the mouse to send the email to Hogan. She gasps in relief but as she gets up from her chair she knocks the desk and a book falls down onto the mouse.
The mouse clicks down and sends the email to Hogan - as Erica exclaims in despair that the email has again been sent. Panicking, she quickly rushes out of her office and into a hallway where she encounters Cassidy.
She grabs Cassidy by the hand and pulls her away from a conversation she's having. Cassidy asks Erica what's wrong and she explains that she accidentally forwarded the email to Hogan rather than replying to her.
Cassidy takes this in and they both rush down the stairs towards Hogan's office. When they arrive there though, they find her secretary is outside her office on the phone. Erica suggests they will have to abort their mission to intercept the email.
However, Cassidy tells her not to worry and removes a folder from her bag before approaching the secretary's desk. She tells her she needs to speak to Hogan, but is informed that she's not in and the secretary asks if she can give her a message.
Cassidy says that Hogan gave her a 'D' on a paper that she can't afford to get. The secretary says she can't help her, at which point Cassidy reaches over and snatches the contacts' book from her desk, saying that she'll have to call Hogan at home herself.
The secretary ends her phone call and rushes towards Cassidy, telling her she can't look in the book. Cassidy asks why, wondering if the secretary is going to call security. Erica realises that, with the secretary distracted, she has the chance to access Hogan's office.
As Cassidy continues to rant to the secretary, Erica sneaks into Hogan's office and goes over to her computer. She finds the email she mistakenly sent in her inbox and deletes it before hurrying out.
She greets Cassidy, who pretends to re-explain her dilemma to Erica - who assures her she's going to be fine and says that they should go. The secretary says Hogan will be back any minute and suggests Cassidy can wait.
Erica guides Cassidy away though, saying it will be better if she cools down. They both leave, agreeing how bad it would have been had Hogan got the email.
Later, during Hogan's lecture, Erica gazes around, not listening, as she takes in being back in familiar surroundings. Hogan talks about The Importance Of Being Earnest and debates with another student.
Hogan then asks Erica what her view is, noticing that she's not been paying attention. Caught out, Erica hesitates before replying that both Hogan and the student have made good points before offering a general comment about the characters.
Unimpressed, Hogan sarcastically thanks her for her summary, but tells Erica that she asked her for her point of view. Erica doesn't know what to say, and Hogan takes this to mean that she doesn't have one.
Afterwards, Erica pays a visit to Hogan's office where she's told they're meeting to discuss her thesis proposal. Erica says she'd like to talk about what happened in class, which surprises Hogan.
She concedes that it's Erica's choice, but informs her that her time is valuable and that, while she could spend it rehashing events from the morning, it would be better spent presenting her proposal.
Erica agrees, and says her thesis will be about hidden feminism in Bronte's Jane Eyre. Hogan is inmoved by this suggestion, but says she isn't going to stand in her way if she wishes to choose the blandest thesis topic.
This description shocks Erica, who says she's put a lot of research into it. Hogan acknowledges that she probably has but that Erica must know that as thesis topics go it's pedestrian, boring, and been done. Erica is dumbfounded, but Hogan tells her her thesis is approved and asks her to leave.
Erica discusses what happened as she walks with Ethan and Cassidy. She states that even though she didn't send the email she swears Hogan hates her even more than before. Cassidy suggests that Hogan is crazy, considering how smart, talented, and adorable she is.
She advises Erica to tell Hogan to shove it, which shocks Ethan. Cassidy argues that just because Hogan has a PhD it doesn't make her a God. She tells Erica to confront her and tell her off.
Ethan says that's the worst idea, although Erica reminds him of how when she stood up to Lozar things had got better. He makes the point that Lozar wasn't the head of the English Department though.
Cassidy can't believe Ethan's attitude, suggesting they teach him blind submission in teacher's college. He wonders why she's chewing his head off, and she replies that university is about passion and original thought and taking a stand - reminding them of the '60s and Vietnam.
Ethan says that most students in the '60s weren't sticking flowers in guns and taking acid trips at Woodstock. He tells Cassidy that they were at university to learn and graduate and get real jobs.
Irritated by his attitude, Cassidy says she has to go. Erica tries to make her stay, but Cassidy says that if everyone was as complacent as Ethan then her and Erica wouldn't even be allowed to go to university.
She leaves, and Ethan suggests to Erica that Cassidy needs to chill out. He tells her that she can't afford to alienate her advisor and she needs to win over Hogan. Exasperated, Erica asks how and says she has no idea what Hogan wants.
Ethan suggests that she asks Hogan and gets her involved. He says that people love being asked for their advice and that that's what he'd do, and Erica considers this advice.
Later on, she catches up with Hogan, who is in a hurry, to talk. They walk and talk as Erica explains that she's been thinking about what what Hogan had said about her thesis. She says the last thing she wants to do is present a topic that's underwhelming.
Hogan enquires if she has another topic in mind and Erica wonders if she has any ideas or suggestions. This comment makes Hogan stop in her place and, astonished, she suggests Erica is asking her to come up with her thesis proposal .
Erica denies this and says she's just asking for some guidance. Hogan disagrees though and suggests Erica is asking her to do the work for her. She asks Erica to remind her why exactly she's in the Masters programme.
She struggles to answer this question before saying she's just trying to give Hogan what she wants. Annoyed, Hogan tells Erica it has nothing to do with her, and that it's her thesis, her degree, and her life.
Hogan tells Erica to figure it out and to do it with another thesis advisor, stating that she doesn't have the time for it. Erica can't believe the turn of events and suggests she can't just quit. Hogan says she can though and walks off leaving her astounded.
The next day, Erica turns up early to see Hogan in the lecture theatre. She asks what Erica is doing there, and she replies that she needs to talk to her. Hogan tells her she's not going to change her mind, which Erica accepts.
Erica asks what she did to make Hogan dislike her. Hogan tells her that Erica never answered the question about why she is in the Masters programme. Erica replies that she needs her degree - but this answer doesn't impress Hogan.
She informs Erica that when she was her age there wasn't one tenured female professor in the faculty, but that she didn't care because she knew this was what she was meant to do.
She wonders if Erica knows how frustrating it is to watch students wasting years hiding out at university when they could be pursuing their dreams. Erica asks how Hogan knows she's hiding out and she replies because Erica can't answer the most basic question of why she's there.
Erica, once more, struggles to reply, and Hogan tells her she's a bright girl and asks what she wants to do with her life. After thinking, Erica eventually replies that she wants to be an editor and publish books and, suddenly having got clarity, that she wants to start her own company - as crazy as it sounds.
Impressed, Hogan explains how thirty years ago she'd told her father that one day she wanted to chair the English Department he laughed in her face. She advises Erica to leave the degrees to the academics and to follow her heart - and not let anyone try and stop her.
Inspired by this, Erica smiles to herself and begins to walk away. She turns around and thanks Hogan who tells her she's welcome. Erica walks out of the lecture theatre but finds herself passing out of the wall through the chalk outlined door in the present day.
Almost immediately, she gets her cell phone out of her bag and calls Julianne, and asks her what she's doing.
They meet up for a coffee and Erica says that if her crazy nervous breakdown didn't put her off the idea that she'd still really like to go into business together. Julianne reminds her that in the morning Erica was saying it was all too risky and now she's saying it's peachy, and asks her what the deal is.
Erica says that Ethan convinced her that it was a bad idea, and Julianne suggests that maybe it is for him, but that he's not her. She wonders what this means, and Julianne says that Ethan isn't exactly Jean Claude Van Damme and that he plays it pretty safe, although Erica insists he'll come around.
Julianne accepts this and says she just wants to make sure before she says yes that Erica isn't going to change her mind again or let Ethan change it for her. Erica promises and they hug one another, excited, and Julianne tells her how stoked she is, referring to Erica as her partner.
Back home, Erica is working at her desk when there's a knock at the door. She checks through the spy hole to see who's there before opening the door to Kai. She asks what he's doing there and he acknowledges that she said she needed her space.
Kai says he's not there to get in her way, but he needs to tell her something. Erica asks him what's wrong and he explains that he's finished his regret and writing Alien Like You but is still in 2009. Her wonders why he's still stuck in the past.
Inside her apartment, Kai explains how he doesn't understand and wonders if Dr. Fred is messing with him and if it's some kind of test. Erica, pouring a glass of water, says that everything is a test with therapists and she wonders what made him finally go through with the regret.
Kai says when he first got back things were great - Travis was alive and there was no money or drugs. Erica concludes that he made the decision to stay and Kai confirms so, saying it was great for a while but he now feels like he's messing it up with the band and Travis.
He says he keeps trying to change things and it's not working, and Erica tells him that therapy isn't really about changing the past. Kai replies that this is what Dr. Fred said, and she tells him it's true and that you learn that little lesson pretty quick.
Frustrated, Kai asks what the point is and what they want him to do. Erica suggests that it's called therapy for a reason. She says that changing the past is easy but changing yourself is much harder.
She tells him that he needs figure out why he's really here. Kai wonders how and says he has no idea. Erica suddenly has a thought and moves a chair from the table and positions it opposite her desk.
He asks what she's doing and Erica replies that she's helping him. She invites him to sit down, prompting him to call her "Dr. Erica." She asks him to indulge her and they sit down facing one another on opposite sides of the desk.
Erica suggests they go back to the beginning and, putting on a Freudian/Austrian accent, asks him to explain why Alien Like You was a regret. Kai says that if they're going to talk about it then she has to act like a normal person and Erica apologises for getting a little carried away.
He explains that the song was honest and was how he felt when he wrote it. Kai says he wasn't trying to please anyone or sell records. Erica suggests that he was just being true to himself, which he agrees with.
Erica thinks for a bit and says that if she was Dr. Tom then she would say, quoting Shakespeare: "This above all, to all thine own self be true." She admits it sounds so much better when he does it, but Kai gets what she's saying.
She asks him how he can be true to himself in his current situation and what he can do. Kai stops to consider and suddenly has a dawning.
That evening, Kai and Erica go to a packed Goblins and he suggests he should go and find his band mates. He asks her if it all works and he goes back what it will be like when he gets there. She replies that it will be the same for the most part.
Kai asks if he'll remember everything and her. She confirms so, which he's pleased to hear. He asks whether he should look her up in the future and Erica pleads with him not to and, if he does, not to tell her as it would be too weird to think about it.
She adds that she'd be 40, and he jokes that she'd actually be 42. Erica smiles and tells him she's going to miss him. He assures her she's going to be fine and reminds her that she has Ethan. Erica nods her head and Kai suggests she won't even notice he's gone.
Emotional, she says she will. He tries to comfort her but Erica kisses him on the cheek. She tells Kai to go and find his band mates and that she'll come and see him afterwards and he leaves.
On stage, Dave introduces Head as Erica and Jody watch on. Kai makes his way to the mic, but not before putting his arm around Travis and apologising for letting him down of late. Travis tells him not to worry about it and they hug.
Kai's behaviour prompts Travis to ask him if he's OK, and Kai insists he's great and he addresses the crowd over the mic, asking them how they're doing. He tells them he's going to play a song called Alien Like You.
This surprises Travis and Jody bows his head at the news. Kai explains that it took him a while to finish the song and they're the first ones to hear it in its entirety. He gets ready to play, but before he can Travis puts his hand over the mic and questions what Kai is doing.
Kai rebuffs him though and begins to play and sing. Erica and Jody watch on, intrigued, as Kai sings and, eventually, Travis begins to play along with him.
As she listens, Erica reflects upon the time she's spent with Kai - from their first meeting, to the do-over day where he ended up kissing her, and their many encounters at Goblins. When Kai finishes she enthusiastically applauds along with the rest of the audience.
Afterwards, Jody talks to the band and tells them to hire a lawyer as they'll have to sign some contracts the next day. He shakes Kai's hand, as he tells them he has balls for choosing to play his own song like that.
At that moment, Kai appears to change and Travis hugs and congratulates him. Erica then comes bounding up to him, calling his name, grabbing him by the hand, and telling him how incredible it was.
He gives her a vague look as he politely thanks her though. Erica tells him it was perfect and that she's so glad he sung the song. Kai continues to look blankly at her though and, telling her he doesn't mean to be rude, explains that he has a terrible memory for names.
Erica realises that he doesn't know her and that the Kai she knew has been transported back to the future. She hides her disappointment as Kai asks her who she is and she tells him she's nobody and just a fan. He thanks her and she walks off and glances back to see Kai celebrating with his band mates.
Back at her apartment, she returns home to find Ethan sitting on the couch, reading, and he asks where she was. Erica apologises for not leaving a message, explaining that she got caught up and before she knew it, it was late.
Ethan says that if she didn't have dinner that there's leftover pasta in the fridge which he can heat up if she's hungry. She replies that she's not really hungry though and sits down next to him on the couch.
Erica explains that there's lots going on in her head and she needs to talk about it. Ethan puts down his book as she begins to tells him how she met with Julianne and how she's going into business with her.
He takes this in and wonders what she expects him to say. Erica says she wants him to say he understands and that he gets how much it means to her. Ethan says he can't, as he doesn't understand why she wants to take on that kind of stress and turn her life upside down.
Erica replies that it's exciting and challenging and, while she know he's just looking out for her, pleads with him to back her up on it. Ethan shakes his head and apologises, and she reminds him it's her career.
He gets up from the couch and tells her it's their life together and that they have to start thinking about the future and what they want. Erica accepts this and asks what exactly that is. Ethan replies that it's not this or her running from job to job - getting fired one day and opening a business the next.
Erica begins to explain that if the situation was reversed and he guesses that she'd support him and that she thinks he's being a shitty boyfriend because he's being honest. She denies that's what she's saying but he tells her that the situation wouldn't be reversed because he wouldn't do it.
She understands this to mean that there's nothing else he wants and that he's got it all. Ethan replies that he's got a career he loves, and friends, and - sitting back down beside Erica - says he has her.
Erica asks him about ten years time, and he suggests they'd be married, have kids, a dog, and a house. She listens to this description, stony-faced. He says he'll still be teaching and she'd be working and life is simple and they'd be happy.
She lets out a big sigh when she hears this and puts her face in her hands. Ethan puts his hand on her shoulder and asks if she's crying. Erica insists she isn't, but gets up from the couch. She tells him she's freaking out and he says that he thought that she wanted it.
Erica admits that she did, but that right now they're in completely different places. Ethan shakes his head in disbelief and Erica continues saying there's a voice inside her telling her something she doesn't want to hear.
Ethan tries to interject, as she explains how she's trying so hard not to hear it. He listens in silence as Erica concludes that she doesn't think they're right for each other. Ethan finds this incredulous.
She sits back down and, struggling to contain her emotions, says there's no amount of talking that's going to fix it and that it's a fundamental difference between them.
Erica says whether it's their sex life, or her career, or the future, that every time she tries to step outside the box a little it's like he tries to keep pushing her in. She finally tells Ethan that she thinks they should break up.
Astounded and trying not to cry, Ethan tells her not to and suggests that she's overreacting and that they're just having a conversation. He says that you don't just give up, but she interrupts him to insists she's not giving up.
She warns that if they keep going they're going to keep pulling in different directions until they tear apart. Ethan bows his head and struggles to hold back the tears. Erica says that even though she can't stand the thought of him not in her life she can't keep shutting out the voice inside telling her they aren't right.
Ethan says he can't believe what's happening and Erica tells him how sorry she is. They both cry and she keeps apologising as he struggles to look at her. Eventually she hugs him and holds him against her.
That evening, they lie next to one another on the bed, both struggling to sleep. The next morning, Ethan packs up his belongings and leaves the apartment. Erica cries to herself on the bed and over time packs his things into a box and adapts to him being gone.
Judith pays her a visit to cheer her up and they go out to Goblins. When they arrive, she asks if Erica is sure she wants to have drinks there, but Erica says it's fine and she insists that it has a lot of good memories.
Erica goes to find them a table as Judith offers to buy the drinks - which Erica jokes is a good thing seeing as she's unemployed. As she sits down, Dr. Fred approaches her table and joins her.
He tells her that he won't find Kai there and she replies that for some reason she kind of knew that. Dr. Fred explains that Kai quit yesterday when Jody signed the band and that he's already got them working on their line-up for V Fest.
Erica thinks this is fast and Dr. Fred says Jody's striking while the iron is hot. She asks him about the Kai she knows, and he informs her that he's adjusting, suggesting she remembers what it was like, which she admits she does. He thanks her for her help and leaves.
Later, Erica walks home alone, passing the wall where the chalk outlined door that Dr. Tom drew still remains. She stops and looks at it and then slowly advances towards it. She decides to re-enter the hallway of doors and finds Dr. Tom waiting there for her.
He greets her and she asks him where he's been. Dr. Tom says he's been waiting until she was ready. Erica begins to walk towards him, explaining that she broke up with Ethan - which he tells her he knows.
She adds that Kai has gone back to where he belongs, and she now has no job and no boyfriend. Dr. Tom asks her how that feels and Erica admits it feels scary but strangely OK. He smiles and asks her why that is.
Erica says that talking to Ethan made her realise how much she's changed. She tells Dr. Tom that everything he's taught her has made her braver somehow and that fear no longer holds her back but actually motivates her, wondering if that makes sense.
Dr. Tom smiles to himself and takes a deep breath. Looking around the hallway, he walks away from Erica and tells her that: "We cannot teach people anything, we can only help them discover it within themselves."
She smiles and he tells her it's time. Dr. Tom instructs Erica to, once more, choose a door. She begins to look around at the doors before selecting an old-looking wooden door. She opens it, steps inside, and closes it behind her and he watches her walk in.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
What Goes Up Must Come Down: Analysis
Season 2, Episode 11: What Goes Up Must Come Down
Analysis
As episode titles go, few encapsulate the events of an episode as well as this one's does. Erica, riding high with the launch of The None, is about to come crashing back down to earth - and then keep falling.
This is definitely one of the most fun episodes of Season 2, with some great time travelling as Erica lurches from riches to rags in Dr. Tom's attempts to give her a little bit of perspective about life's up and downs.
Elsewhere, we finally see Kai begin to make some progress in dealing with his regret over Travis. His eyes have been opened when it comes to who was really pushing for the band to become big, and why he hasn't any reason to feel as guilty as he does.
Of course, this dealing with the regret and actually working with, instead of against, Dr. Fred is all gearing up for the barista to neatly round off his work back in 2009 before the end of the season.
Back to Erica though, and I know from my own experience how easy it is to wallow. It's also easy to allow something bad or a terrible experience to take you off course. I know it certainly did with me. However, as Dr. Tom says, setbacks shouldn't be seen as the end.
Rather, we should approach them as a challenge and should use our hardships to make us grow stronger and wiser. Easier said than done though, and Erica had the same problem.
The negative response to The None clearly rocked her, although tempting fate that her day couldn't get any worse proved wildly misguided. Which brings me onto her and Julianne's firing by Galvin.
True, The None didn't do so well with the reviews, but they had no idea whether it was going to sell. True also, Erica shouldn't have gone to see Horowitz. But firing her? That seemed extreme.
Julainne's dismissal was easier to understand. After all, she's the boss and ultimately carries the can. Then again, I think Galvin should look to himself too. He clearly promoted her beyond her abilities off the back of one success.
If she has not been up to the top job, the Friedkin stuff aside, then he should look to himself for - like her - being too impulsive with his decision making.
Of course, the firing sows the seeds of animosity between Erica and Brent, with the latter ruthlessly deciding not to inform them during the big argument that Galvin was there. That's Brent though.
So it's up to Dr. Tom to show a distraught Erica - unable to take comfort in the ever-practical Ethan's advice for her to immediately update her CV - the reality of her situation.
It's funny how people do always equate money to having things easy - as Erica does. I'm not so sure, and never have been. I guess it's a double edged sword, and everyone knows that money can't bring lasting happiness.
As Erica finds out when she lives the high life, including a great cameo performance from Dr. Tom as her fashion designer. As I mentioned earlier in this season's analyses, Judith's fear of them losing touch actually became reality - and we could see how hurt Erica was by that.
Then there's the very clever bit of returning Erica to where we see her getting fired from in the very first few minutes of the very first episode. Great stuff from the writers.
Much amusement abounds as Erica is constantly patronised by Vera, as she worries that this is her reality and that she is now back further down that she was before.
Erica frantically searching for Dr. Tom and that whole scene in his office was particularly good. His "on the hoof" safari story and how she blew her money were funny. Her refusal to leave his office was also good.
Ultimately though, it is down to Barbara to give her daughter the advice and perspective she needs. We've seen her mom's strength in Season 1 over Gary's affair but, for me, this is where Barbara and Kathleen really shine.
That's the kind of parent you want. That speech, the analogy with the cards, and talk about getting up and keeping fighting was superb. Arguably the best speech in the entire season actually.
It provides her with the inspiration to storm into River Rock and confront Brent - interestingly in charge of things in the Non Fiction department - and ask him for a job. Cue that old vicious circle dilemma of experience and opportunities, but it is a crucial one.
Erica need not start right at the bottom back in the present day, as she actually has experience. True, she could be rich, but she is still better off then she was before having worked at River Rock and got experience.
Overall, things could be worse, and they may just be about to with the dramatic final twist. Mind you, plenty of cracks are on evidence before that final scene between Erica and Ethan.
She is clearly annoyed by his flippant attitude towards the reviews of The None, and who didn't think he'd got her jewellery in that box instead of a pen? Erica clearly did too, although she disguised how underwhelmed she was pretty well.
That final scene clearly showed that contrast between the two though. We'd already seen such a dilemma over whether Erica should write the sex book earlier in the season. Ethan's caution against her willingness to take a punt.
It's not opposites meshing, it's opposites clashing. Forget trouble in paradise, more paradise lost. Time to cut the cord.
Analysis
As episode titles go, few encapsulate the events of an episode as well as this one's does. Erica, riding high with the launch of The None, is about to come crashing back down to earth - and then keep falling.
This is definitely one of the most fun episodes of Season 2, with some great time travelling as Erica lurches from riches to rags in Dr. Tom's attempts to give her a little bit of perspective about life's up and downs.
Elsewhere, we finally see Kai begin to make some progress in dealing with his regret over Travis. His eyes have been opened when it comes to who was really pushing for the band to become big, and why he hasn't any reason to feel as guilty as he does.
Of course, this dealing with the regret and actually working with, instead of against, Dr. Fred is all gearing up for the barista to neatly round off his work back in 2009 before the end of the season.
Back to Erica though, and I know from my own experience how easy it is to wallow. It's also easy to allow something bad or a terrible experience to take you off course. I know it certainly did with me. However, as Dr. Tom says, setbacks shouldn't be seen as the end.
Rather, we should approach them as a challenge and should use our hardships to make us grow stronger and wiser. Easier said than done though, and Erica had the same problem.
The negative response to The None clearly rocked her, although tempting fate that her day couldn't get any worse proved wildly misguided. Which brings me onto her and Julianne's firing by Galvin.
True, The None didn't do so well with the reviews, but they had no idea whether it was going to sell. True also, Erica shouldn't have gone to see Horowitz. But firing her? That seemed extreme.
Julainne's dismissal was easier to understand. After all, she's the boss and ultimately carries the can. Then again, I think Galvin should look to himself too. He clearly promoted her beyond her abilities off the back of one success.
If she has not been up to the top job, the Friedkin stuff aside, then he should look to himself for - like her - being too impulsive with his decision making.
Of course, the firing sows the seeds of animosity between Erica and Brent, with the latter ruthlessly deciding not to inform them during the big argument that Galvin was there. That's Brent though.
So it's up to Dr. Tom to show a distraught Erica - unable to take comfort in the ever-practical Ethan's advice for her to immediately update her CV - the reality of her situation.
It's funny how people do always equate money to having things easy - as Erica does. I'm not so sure, and never have been. I guess it's a double edged sword, and everyone knows that money can't bring lasting happiness.
As Erica finds out when she lives the high life, including a great cameo performance from Dr. Tom as her fashion designer. As I mentioned earlier in this season's analyses, Judith's fear of them losing touch actually became reality - and we could see how hurt Erica was by that.
Then there's the very clever bit of returning Erica to where we see her getting fired from in the very first few minutes of the very first episode. Great stuff from the writers.
Much amusement abounds as Erica is constantly patronised by Vera, as she worries that this is her reality and that she is now back further down that she was before.
Erica frantically searching for Dr. Tom and that whole scene in his office was particularly good. His "on the hoof" safari story and how she blew her money were funny. Her refusal to leave his office was also good.
Ultimately though, it is down to Barbara to give her daughter the advice and perspective she needs. We've seen her mom's strength in Season 1 over Gary's affair but, for me, this is where Barbara and Kathleen really shine.
That's the kind of parent you want. That speech, the analogy with the cards, and talk about getting up and keeping fighting was superb. Arguably the best speech in the entire season actually.
It provides her with the inspiration to storm into River Rock and confront Brent - interestingly in charge of things in the Non Fiction department - and ask him for a job. Cue that old vicious circle dilemma of experience and opportunities, but it is a crucial one.
Erica need not start right at the bottom back in the present day, as she actually has experience. True, she could be rich, but she is still better off then she was before having worked at River Rock and got experience.
Overall, things could be worse, and they may just be about to with the dramatic final twist. Mind you, plenty of cracks are on evidence before that final scene between Erica and Ethan.
She is clearly annoyed by his flippant attitude towards the reviews of The None, and who didn't think he'd got her jewellery in that box instead of a pen? Erica clearly did too, although she disguised how underwhelmed she was pretty well.
That final scene clearly showed that contrast between the two though. We'd already seen such a dilemma over whether Erica should write the sex book earlier in the season. Ethan's caution against her willingness to take a punt.
It's not opposites meshing, it's opposites clashing. Forget trouble in paradise, more paradise lost. Time to cut the cord.
What Goes Up Must Come Down
Season 2, Episode 11: What Goes Up Must Come Down
Episode Guide
The official launch of The None is taking place one evening at River Rock. Erica goes up to the podium on a stage at the front and welcomes the gathered crowd. She introduces Katie onto the stage, and hugs her as people cheer.
Katie tells the watching audience how excited she is and pays tribute to her friend and editor Erica, who she describes as the vision behind the launch. As she watches Katie up on the stage, Erica watches and narrates:
"Ever get that feeling that you've hit your stride? You're in the groove? On top of the world? Like everything you've worked so hard for is finally yours?"
Julianne comes up to Erica and praises her for the launch, telling her it's incredible work. Erica thanks her and, as Katie calls on some bachelors to come onto the stage, Julianne says that her "spidey senses" are telling her the book is destined to be a New York Times best seller.
Erica returns home to her apartment, where Ethan is sitting on the couch watching TV, in a triumphant mood. He chuckles as she dances around and asks him who "the man is" and suggesting herself.
Ethan concludes that she's had a good night, and she agrees that it was the best. She jumps over the back of the couch to kneel beside him. Beaming, Erica tells him that all the work and months of stress have finally paid off and that the whole night was perfect from beginning to end.
He's pleased to hear this and tells her to stay where she is while he goes over to his bag and removes a long thin box, which looks likely to contain jewellery of some kind. Erica asks him what it is, and Ethan tells her to open it.
She does and finds inside a pen, engraved with the words 'You're The One.' Ethan confesses that it's kind of corny, but she tells him she loves it and they kiss. He asks her if she's coming to bed, but Erica says she will in a minute as she can't wait to read the first online reviews of The None which come out in a minute.
Erica goes over to her desk and eagerly sits down in front of her laptop to search online for the reviews.
"But that perfect moment, no matter how badly we want it to, won't last forever."
She reacts in shock when she reads a scathing review of the book. Ethan, unaware of what the review has said, suggests that it's good. He goes over and puts his arm on her shoulder as she reads out a critical review.
He assures her that it's only one review, which Erica clarifies as a "terrible review." Ethan doubts whether anyone will care about the source of it though, and advises her not to think about it and go to bed.
She replies that she'll be right there, and as Ethan heads into the bedroom, she continues to read other scathing reviews. Erica puts her head in her hands in disbelief and despair.
"Because without warning a setback can strike, setting us even further back than where we started from."
The next morning, Erica and Ethan walk through the city together on their way to work. Erica reads a review in the paper as she walks, describing The None as "a colossal failure" and attributing it to Larry Horowitz.
Ethan responds by calling him "Larry Jerkowitz," but she informs him that he is the one of the top literary critics in Toronto. He replies that it's just a couple of people's opinions and wonders who reads reviews anyway.
Erica says that everyone in the industry does - including her bosses and the public - and that a review can make or break a book. He looks on aghast as she states how bad it is and that her day can't get any worse. Ethan kisses her goodbye and tells her to hang in there.
At River Rock, Erica sits at her desk, glancing around anxiously towards Julianne in her office. Eventually she decides to go and speak to her. She knocks on the door and enters, beginning to talk about the reviews for The None.
Julianne interrupts her, suggesting they were catastrophic. Erica says she feels like she should do something, but Julianne replies that, as much as she herself would like to give Horowitz a piece of her mind, nothing can be done.
Erica agrees, saying that she read the review and, while normally agreeing with Larry, feels like he misunderstood what Katie was trying to say and that his interpretation of the message was way off.
Julianne understands that Erica feels like she wants to cry and share feelings. She replies that it's not that, rather she feels like the review was unfair. Julianne suggests that she gets some perspective and that no-one will remember the reviews if the book sells.
Erica doubts this, but Julianne assures her and tells her to scoot - advising her not to dwell and after having a cry in the bathroom to just focus on "the sex book." She stresses the importance of being on their game, as Galvin is returning later in the day.
Returning to her desk, Erica sits down before wheeling over on her chair to another desk and picking up a copy of the paper with Horowitz's review. She scrunches it up tightly in her hand, telling the picture of him that he didn't even read the book.
She puts the paper down beside her and tries to get to work but can't help glancing back at it. Erica looks at her watch and looks back around at Julianne in her office. She picks up her bag and heads over to the elevator.
As she waits, hers and Julianne's attention is drawn to Brent, apologising to an author and telling him that they're looking for something more relatable given their recent colossal failure.
He looks over to Julianne as he says these last words and smiles as he walks past her office door. The author then takes back his manuscript and joins Erica waiting for the elevator. He explains to her that he just got another rejection.
She tells him she's sorry to hear it but he remarks that at the ninth time that he's almost stopped feeling it. Erica smiles at this and looks around at Brent at his desk, commenting to the author that he can be pretty tough.
He asks if she is an editor too, and Erica replies that she likes to think so. He introduces himself as Seth Newman and, stepping into the elevator together, she glances at the front page of his manuscript, and asks him what The Purple Door is about.
As the doors close, he tells her it's the story of his life. They continue talking about the book as they walk through the city streets and Erica recounts the tale of how he was raised in a cult by his parents but managed to escape.
Seth says he was one of the lucky ones and that he had to escape. He says he hasn't looked back until now and Erica suggests that it's an amazing story. She tells him that, although she can't promise anything, she'd be happy to read his manuscript.
Encouraged, he says he's happy to let her read it and that he appreciates her offer. Erica takes the manuscript and tells Seth she'll be in touch before they shake hands and go their separate ways.
Erica heads to the National Post newspapers offices where she waits to see Larry Horowitz. He greets her, saying her visit is a first and jokes that she has a gun in her bag. She dismisses the notion, but he replies that he's just checking.
Larry suggests that an editor coming to visit him on the day he gives a bad review, and Erica interrupts him to suggest that it's "unorthodox." He says that's one word, and that "crazy" is another.
They make their way through the newsroom towards his desk and he asks her what he can do for her that he hasn't already done. Erica replies that she's read his review and that she thinks he misinterpreted what Katie was trying to say.
He doubts this, but Erica insists the book sends out an optimistic message and that it's about finding happiness. Larry adds that this is a with a guy that you don't love and that it's about finding happiness through mediocrity and settling.
Erica finds this view a little simplistic and states that they were saying to stop holding out for Mr Right. He replies that they should instead settle for Mr Wrong. She disagrees, and says Mr Real, which Larry describes as a worthy idea but one that doesn't appear in the book.
She insists it's the whole backbone of the book, but Larry disagrees suggesting that the backbone is the cynical flipside - that all men are fixer-uppers and that there's no hope in finding a soul mate.
Erica says that wasn't the intention and he repeats his question of what she wants from him, suggesting a new review or retraction. She struggles to answer him, before saying she just wanted to understand.
Larry replies that she now does and admits that the book made him angry as it's a manual on giving up and how to stop looking for love. Erica is shocked to hear this, as he describes how he's been married to his soulmate for 20 years and assures her that he didn't marry "The None."
He hands her back a copy of the book, assuming that their conversation is over. He goes, leaving a dejected Erica.
Meanwhile, at Goblins, Kai is clearing tables as Travis comes in and reminds him of the time he said they were too raw to enter V Fest and that it would be a waste of time. Kai recalls saying this, and Travis tells him that they got in.
Kai is speechless, and Travis explains that, although they won't be on the main stage, key industry people will be there to hear them play. However, Kai insists that they're not going to do it. Travis replies that they are, but Kai tells him it's not what they need.
He reminds Travis that he said himself that he wanted to keep the band small. Travis refutes having ever said that, and tells Kai that the band is doing it before leaving angrily. Kai watches on, before turning around on hearing Dr. Fred's voice.
Dr. Fred, sitting at the counter, suggests that Travis has a point, as he doesn't say he wants to keep the band small until June 18 2012. He tells Kai he is a couple of years early, but Kai replies that Travis just doesn't know it now. Dr Fred suggests this is because hindsight is 20:20.
Kai confirms that he thinks so, but Dr. Fred say it isn't always, and tells Kai that Travis has big dreams too. Kai insists that Travis can't handle them, but Dr. Fred, while conceding that may be true, say that's not the point.
Dr. Fred points out that Kai's future - which he keeps fighting against - has found him. He exits Goblins and leaves Kai wondering.
Back at River Rock, Erica leaves the elevator to find Julianne working in her office and Brent making his way back to his desk. Julianne leaves her office and goes over to Brent, asking him for a quick word.
She tells him she has been reviewing the latest chapters of The Mystery Of Tomorrow and that they're not exactly up to snuff. Hearing this, Erica turns around in her chair, intrigued. Brent, unhappy, folds his arms, and replies that Friedkin felt strongly about the chapters.
Julianne says she feels very strongly that they need work, and he asks her to be specific. She says she'll do so when she gives him her notes, before telling Brent she doesn't like his tone. He replies that he doesn't trust her unreliable of late instincts.
She is shocked at this comment, and reminds him that she's his boss. Brent remarks that that is what her business cards say and insists that the chapters will remain as they are. Astonished at his behaviour, Erica gets up out of her chair and asks Brent what's wrong with him.
He replies that it's none of her business, but Erica reminds him that Julianne gave him his shot. Unbeknown to Erica and Julianne, Galvin then walks in behind them to hear their confrontation.
Erica states that if it wasn't for Julianne then Brent would still be working in the mail room. Brent spots Galvin's presence as the row escalates and immediately changes his tone, trying to calm things down and saying they should remain professional.
Julianne scoffs at Brent's calming words and suggests that the way he went behind her back to Galvin wasn't professional. Well aware of Galvin's silent presence, Brent replies that he was looking out for River Rock.
She rejects this idea though, and says Brent was looking out for himself. Julianne concludes that Galvin is either too naive or in the early stages of Alzheimer's not to be able to see that. Angered, and having heard enough, Galvin suddenly calls out Julianne's name.
Julianne turns around, shocked. Galvin then calls out Erica's name too, and tells them he wants to see them in the boardroom. Other employees in the office watch on as Erica and Julianne, stunned, look at Brent, disgusted.
They stand, side by side, in the boardroom, as an angry Galvin paces around. He scolds them for engaging in a public shouting match with a fellow employee. Julianne apologises, to which he responds that he keeps hearing apology after apology from her.
He says he's come back to find her department once again in shambles, highlighting Erica going to visit and accost Larry Horowitz at his office as a case in point. Julianne is shocked to learn this, and Erica tries to explain that she just wanted some clarification.
Julianne tells her they don't go and see critics, and Erica apologises, and tries to explain her thinking. Galvin interrupts her though, and says she didn't think and neither did Julianne.
Galvin concludes that Julianne dropped the ball on The None in giving a junior editor free rein, and reminds her that she also crossed the line with Friedkin - a bestseller. She tries to respond to his comments, but he continues, saying she managed to talk him into the sex book based largely on the projected success of The None.
He picks up a copy of the book on the table and slams it back down, saying it's only logical that they now kill that title. Erica tries to interject and explain that the sex book and The None are completely different.
Galvin is stunned at her outspokenness though and shouts at Erica, asking her who the hell she thinks she is - stunning her into silence. He then turns to Julianne, and says that she brought them great success with Friedkin and, based on that, he was prepared to overlook a few stumbles.
He concludes though that they've reached the point where her errors in judgement are now compromising the reputation of the company and that he can't stand by and let it happen.
Julianne pleads with him but he says that both her and Erica need to pack up their desks and be out of the office by lunch. Galvin exits the boardroom, leaving the pair of them stunned. Brent, watching on, smiles ruefully to himself.
Back home, Ethan tries to comfort a devastated Erica who is crying and drinking a beer. He tells her it's going to be OK, but she tells him it's not and that getting fired is the story of her life.
He insists that she'll find another job and always has. Erica wonders what she'll find a job in, suggesting customer service or telemarketing. Ethan assures her that she'll bounce back though and, although it may not seem like it, that this could be an opportunity.
Erica replies that it's an opportunity to collect welfare. He suggests that she's always wanted to work in fiction and that she now has the chance to apply for those kinds of jobs but she insists that Ethan doesn't realise just how small the industry is.
She says that everyone reads reviews and that no-one is going to hire her after this. Ethan disagrees, and says he will help her. He reaches over to her laptop and goes to open it up. Erica asks what he's doing, and he suggests they update her CV.
He says the best thing she can do is to get right back into the game. Erica sighs at this suggestion and closes the laptop. She concedes that Ethan's trying to make her feel better but, taking the laptop and walking towards the bedroom, says all she wants to do is crawl into bed and disappear.
However, when she goes to open her bedroom door she finds the laptop disappearing from her hand and her walking into Dr. Tom's office. Sitting in her usual chair, he reads a review from a paper, commenting that The None is a "refreshing take on love and tells it like it is."
He states this isn't bad and puts the paper on his desk. Erica heads to lie down on his couch and suggests that he goes and tells Larry Horowitz that. She adds that it doesn't matter anyway, seeing as she got fired.
Erica wonders why it has to be so hard, and Dr. Tom asks what would make things better, suggesting a vacation, a good book, or some perspective. She replies that a lottery ticket would, to which he assumes she means money.
Dr. Tom contemplates this, interested. He wonders what Erica thinks this would solve for her, speculating that it could buy her a little happiness. She replies that it's not about buying anything but that it's about freedom.
Hearing this, he gets out of her chair and says it brings them to her list, which he picks up off his desk. Dr. Tom asks her if she wants to take a stab and guess which regret he's talking about. Erica immediately replies "meandyoumakes2.com" and he congratulates her on being right.
Dr. Tom asks her what happened there, and she explains it was a dot-com company she worked for in the boom. Erica says she quit a few months before they were bought out and that it was the lottery ticket she threw away.
She states that it doesn't matter anyway, as he has previously told her she can't go back to win the lottery. Dr. Tom reminds her he said she can't go back and buy a ticket, but that this is different as it's a legitimate regret.
He asks her to indulge him and, sitting up on the couch, Erica suggests that, had she stayed, she'd have been rich in her 20s and could have paid off all her student loans and never had to work at a call centre.
Erica continues, describing how she would have had the time and means to dedicate to her writing and how her life would have been completely different. Suddenly, she finds herself transported back to where she stands in front of a mirror, applying lipstick.
She's then shocked to find a guy wearing just a towel around his waist come in behind her. He wonders why she's so surprised, and she smiles nervously. He tells her he has made reservations for them at Canoe.
Erica tries to digest this, and, noting her lack of enthusiasm informs her he had to call in some serious favours to get them a table at the last minute, before suggesting a "thanks Luke" is in order.
Realising that he's referring to himself, Erica thanks him and smiles. She's then shocked when he turns around, removes his towel and dries his hair, leaving himself naked in front of her.
She tries to take in the luxurious surroundings she finds herself in, with its fine interior and furnishings. Luke then comes down the stairs, informing her he's got a meeting at Goldman Sachs and asking her to call him after her meeting as he wants to hear all about it.
Erica is unsure what meeting he's referring to, and he reminds her she's going to River Rock about her book. She's surprised to hear this, although Luke concedes that while it's not a book yet he believes in her.
He then goes to the front door to leave, opens it, before handing Erica "her paper," with her believing for a moment that his words refer to her owning the newspaper title itself, rather than it simply being the one she has delivered.
Erica nervously says she'll read it with her coffee, and Luke checks she's OK before kissing her goodbye and leaving. She shuts the door behind him and continues exploring her house, becoming almost giddy with excitement when she spots a first edition of Ulysses on a shelf.
The doorbell then rings, and Erica opens it to find Dr. Tom, dressed as a fashion designer, entering - pushing a rack of clothing. He informs her he's got the 2004 Fall collection with him, to which she reminds him that she worked at the dot-com business in 2001.
Dr. Tom explains that she didn't quit and it's three years later on - after she made millions. Erica smiles at this news, as he holds a dress up against her, describing it as looking "fierce." She asks if he's her personal shopper, and he replies that he prefers "stylist."
He removes the sunglasses he's wearing, and informs her that the dress is for her meeting, with Erica checking he's referring to the one at River Rock about the book she's apparently been writing in her big fancy mansion that she bought with her millions.
She then tells him about the first edition copy of Ulysses she owns. He whistles, impressed with this, and she runs over to pick it up and show him, wondering if it's signed. However, Dr. Tom picks up a manuscript from a table and suggests Erica focuses on it instead.
Erica is shocked to see the manuscript is Little Feats which she recalls was a short story from her class with Professor Lozar. Dr. Tom replies that it's now the first chapter of her first novel, and points to how she's already started to expand it.
She's surprised she's managed to snag a meeting at River Rock, guessing that it's because of her wealth. Dr. Tom confirms that she's now in good company, and that it turns out she frequents the same private club as Frank Galvin's daughter.
He tells Erica that: "Success is often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable," before putting his sunglasses back on and she thanks him before he leaves.
She heads to River Rock, where she emerges from the elevator - surprised to see how different it looks. Erica spots Galvin in his office, who waves for her to come in.
In his office, he flicks through her pages as she explains how her book is about a girl from rural Ontario who suffers hardship after hardship and how she falls in love. Galvin looks on intrigued, although Erica senses he may be unsure about how "sexy" Ontario and hardship is.
She states that the story has been important to her since university though, and that she really connects with the protagonist, describing herself as an "underdog." At this point, Galvin stops her, and informs Erica he was born after the Great Depression and had seven siblings.
Erica confirms she knows this, as he continues to describe how he built his company from nothing. He states that he's lived through poverty whereas she became wealthy overnight. She concedes this point, and he reminds her of the saying to write what you know.
Galvin tells her that authenticity is everything and wonders how she could possibly know anything about her protagonist. Erica is surprised at this, but accepts his point, suggesting that she could make her character more urban.
He says that would be a start, but proposes they start from scratch. Erica tries to respond, but he interrupts her, advising her to stop trying to be the next Margaret Atwood and be what she is. Galvin recommends she writes the next Devil Wears Prada or Shopaholic book.
She looks disappointed that this is his impression of her, as he once again concludes that she should write what she knows. He gets out of his chair, telling Erica that's the best advice he give her. They shake hands and she thanks him as he wishes her good luck and she leaves.
Erica returns home and, as she enters, her cell phone begins to ring. She answers it, and the person on the other end asks her where she is. Not recognising the voice, Erica asks who she's speaking to, and is told it's Shana - who suggests Erica's forgotten about their shiatsus.
She denies so, although has to ask her where they're meeting.
At the massage parlour, Erica enjoys being given her massage, telling Shana that she could get used to it. Shana agrees, stating that one a week really isn't enough. She then says she needs to know whether Erica is coming with them that evening.
Once more unsure what she means, Erica asks Shana to remind her and is informed that there's a Noam Chomsky lecture about his new book. Erica says this sounds amazing, and asks if they get to meet him. Shana confirms so, adding that they'll have drinks with him.
Shana explains that the plan is to pick up Jenny and Tassie - with Erica excited to hear the mention of Jenny's name - in her new car. She says she'll then swing round to pick up Erica - who'll then spend the evening finding her a future husband.
Erica replies that it sounds perfect, before wondering about Judith coming, stating that Noam Chomsky is right up her alley.
Shana is surprised to hear Erica mention Judith's name though, and wonders if they ever talk seeing as Judith is so jealous of Erica. She tells Erica she can invite who she wants, but that she's not picking Judith up - which shocks Erica.
Erica arranges to meet up with Judith in a coffee house, and is pleased to see her turn up. She thanks her for coming, and Judith asks what the emergency is. Erica replies that she wants to know why they don't talk anymore - which astounds Judith.
She pleads with Judith to tell her why she stopped talking to her. Annoyed, Judith questions Erica's motives, but Erica insists that she knows Judith will tell her the truth, and asks her to lay it on her and not hold anything back.
After taking this in, Judith agrees to and informs Erica that she used to be ambitious and reminds her that she wanted to be an author and win a Booker. She says that ever since cashing in, all Erica has done is shop or travel or to go parties and lectures and silent auctions.
Erica looks ashamed to hear this as Judith concludes that she doesn't even try anymore. She asks Judith what happened between them, and Judith replies that she stills loves Erica as they were best friends for years.
She states that they're in different places right now, which disappoints Erica. Judith says she has to go back to work, but before leaving informs Erica that she was the one who stopped calling. She leaves a sad Erica deep in thought.
That evening, Erica returns home to find Luke sitting on the bed, in just his boxers, reading. He says he thought she was going to see Chomsky, but she informs him she cancelled before sitting down on the end of the bed.
Luke asks why, and she tells him she ended up meeting Judith for coffee. He sarcastically replies that that must have been fun, which Erica doesn't appreciate. He presumes her meeting at River Rock didn't go well, and she sighs and asks him what she does.
He thinks she means about Judith, but she says she means what she does day after day. Erica concludes that she doesn't have a job, she goes for massages with Shana, and wonders if the rest of her day is spent sitting around eating bonbons and talking about politics.
Luke reminds her she's writing a book, before suggesting she doesn't need River Rock and that she should self publish. Erica can't take him seriously, but he rejects the idea that she needs to go in and beg on her knees, stating she can publish herself or buy a publishing company.
Erica doubts it's that easy and disagrees with the view that if she can't do it herself that she should just buy it. As she then sarcastically doubts the idea about money not being able to buy happiness, she suddenly finds herself transported again.
She ends up sitting behind a desk at a cell centre, and is shocked to hear a caller's voice in her headset and an instructor standing over her telling her to answer with "WTP Insurance, how can I help you?"
Overwhelmed by where she finds herself though, Erica is unable to, and her instructor removes her headset and goes to answer the call herself - only to find the line dead. She apologises to Erica, and suggests she's going too fast.
Patronising Erica, she points to the phone on the desk and tells her that it's what they use in 2009 to transmit voices. Erica then looks down to see a badge on her top which says she's a trainee.
The instructor wonders if Erica is understanding her, but Erica is still dumbfounded by what has happened and how. Her instructor suggests it isn't happening and begins to suggest that Erica is putting the "u in incompetent" before realising her spelling error.
Erica tells Vera, the instructor, that she just needs a second. Vera tells her not to move or answer the phone though, which she writes on a post-it note and sticks on Erica's nose. Erica removes it, throwing it away in anger.
The phone then rings, and Erica answers it to find Dr. Tom on the other line. Annoyed, she asks him where he is and she puts down her headset to go and search for him. She heads to the ladies washroom where she confidently opens the door and, as expected, enters Dr. Tom's office.
He is sitting behind his desk, and she marches in and asks him what the hell is going on. Dr. Tom replies that he thinks Vera has made it perfectly clear and, pointing to her badge, says Erica is in training.
Erica asks him what she is doing at WTP in 2009, because she doesn't work there then. Dr. Tom explains that she does now and that, after living the good life for a while, the well ran dry.
He adds that it didn't help having Luke as her boyfriend and financial advisor, as he was apparently terrible at both. Panicking, Erica asks him to wait and wonders what he's saying.
She is stunned when Dr. Tom says all her money is gone and that she is at WTP because she had nothing to fall back on.
Erica can't believe it, and asks about Little Feats. Leaning back in his chair, Dr. Tom says little came of it as, after her and Luke broke up, rather than work on the book she decided she wanted to get away from it all and went on a safari to Tanzania.
Seemingly making it up as he goes along, Dr. Tom describes how she saw lots of lions, a giraffe or two, and monkeys. Erica struggles to come to terms with the fact she didn't finish her book and now has nothing.
Dr. Tom replies that she still has her mom, who she lives with - which stuns Erica. He gets up from his chair and moves over to the door, opening it for her and suggesting she doesn't want to keep Vera waiting.
Erica, anxious, checks that he's going to send her back to the real 2009. Dr. Tom wonders who said that it isn't the real 2009. She can't believe this, but he instructs her to go and enjoy the first day of the rest of her life.
She angrily rips off her badge though, throwing it down on the desk, and refuses to. She goes to sit down on her chair, telling Dr. Tom she's not going anywhere. However, as she does, Erica finds herself sitting back down on her chair at WTP - with her badge back on.
Erica looks around at all the other call centre workers there, and Vera then comes up, asking where she was. She tries to reply, and Vera guesses that she had to use the washroom. She reminds Erica that the rest of them have to wait until the scheduled break - in forty two and half minutes.
Annoyed, Erica tells her to back off and Vera suggests that she's being hostile and doesn't like her attitude. Angrily standing up, Erica is just about to speak when Vera stops her and starts making a beeping sound - saying she's getting a signal. She writes on a post-it note before sticking it on a stunned Erica and leaving.
Back home, Erica is sitting in the kitchen with her mom, describing how she was fired by sticky note, which she concludes is worse than being let go by email. Barbara assures her it will be fine and she'll find something else.
Erica suggests it'll be another call centre job, or that she can go and work for Uncle Ruby at White Dreams. Barbara says that when you hit a bump you pick yourself up and keep going. Erica replies that it isn't a bump but a giant wall.
She wonders if this is her life and whether she needs to accept that this is as good as it will get. Annoyed at her attitude, Barbara reminds Erica that she said she didn't even want the job and tells her she doesn't get it.
Barbara tells her that losing a job is one thing, but that losing a son and then your marriage is another. She stresses she's not trying to diminish what Erica is going through, but Erica agrees with her mom that she's wallowing.
She tells Erica that when her and Gary first got together it felt like she could see their entire future complete with three healthy kids, but that things don't always turn out the way you imagined.
Barbara explains that life deals you a hand and, no matter what cards you're holding, you have to play them. She says that it's hard and never stops being so, but that you learn and change and grow and that, even in her darkest moments, she reminds herself it's the reason why everyone is here.
Hearing this, Erica smiles, and Barbara reflects that, while she got fired and is now back on the bottom again, it could be worse. She implores a teary Erica to get back up and keep fighting.
Erica returns to River Rock and spots Brent in Julianne's usual office, putting some things on a shelf. She marches in, says hello, and introduces herself. He asks if she has an appointment as they both sit down.
Erica confirms she doesn't, but that she hoped to talk to him about working at River Rock. She hands him her resume, and he looks at it as she explains how she loves books and feels as though she has what it takes to work with authors and develop projects.
Brent takes this in, as she accepts that her CV doesn't reflect so. He replies that it reflects she has a Masters in English Lit. from ten years ago, which Erica corrects as nine years before taking his point.
He sighs, and tells her he has a soft spot for go-getters but that she needs a reality check. Brent hands her back her CV and says she has no experience. Erica bows her head, before stopping and handing her resume back, asking him to hire her in the mailroom.
Brent replies that mail sorters don't wear Prada, but Erica guesses that he did. She quotes "Secret Number 34" of dressing to impress, and promises him that she won't stay in the mail room for long.
Impressed by her attitude, he takes another look at her resume, and she confirms to him that both her home and cell numbers are on there. Brent tells her he'll see what he can do and they smile at one another and shake hands before Erica thanks him and leaves.
As she goes to walk back into the elevator though, she finds herself transported home into her apartment, with her laptop, entering her bedroom. Realising where she is, she breathes a sigh of relief and clutches the laptop close to her as she sits down on the bed and reflects.
The next morning, she prints out copies of her updated CV. Ethan comes into the kitchen, suggesting she's up early, and she replies that she had to get her CV ready and has drawn up a list of every publishing company in town.
Ethan comments on the difference a night's sleep makes, and Erica kisses him and tells him he was right. He replies that he usually is and he wishes her good luck as she leaves. She heads around publishing companies in the city, handing them her resume and checking them off her list as she does.
Exhausted, she takes a break and sits down on a bench where she spots a nearby bus shelter carrrying a poster for The None on the side of it. She sighs at she sees it's been vandalised with the words "is for losers" added.
She removes an orange from her bag to eat, and then notices the manuscript from Seth, which she also takes out and starts to read.
Later, she arranges to meet up with Julianne for lunch. She greets Julianne, who removes the sunglasses she's wearing to disguise the fact she's been crying.
Julianne tells Erica she better have a good reason for calling her as she has a half-eaten container of Chunky Monkey and Season 4 of The Golden Girls waiting at home for her.
Erica shows her Seth's manuscript and Julianne asks what it is. She explains that it's amazing and, handing it to her, says that, although it needs some work, it's different from anything else she's ever read.
Julianne reminds her that, in case she's forgotten, they're unemployed and pariahs. Erica asks her to hear her out, and suggests that they publish it. Julianne replies that someone needs to share their anti-depressants.
Erica insists she's being serious and, smiling broadly, says they should start a company together. Julianne says that setting up a company is a big deal and isn't like setting up a lemonade stand. However, Erica tells her to stop being such a "Debbie Downer."
Julianne is shocked to hear her own phrase being used against her, but Erica wonders when she has ever given up without a fight. She concedes that Julianne made a mistake with Friedkin and she herself screwed up on The None.
She's reminded by Julianne that they were fired, but Erica calls it a setback and says that it's an opportunity to try something. Erica suggests it may be the universe's way of giving them a push, and Julianne recalls that: "when the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."
Erica is surprised to hear this, and Julianne explains it's from The Sound Of Music. She agrees to read the manuscript but can't guarantee that she'll like it. Erica assures her that she'll love it and says she has a tingly feeling, and they smile at one another.
Meanwhile, at Goblins, Travis waits for Kai - who enters and suggests that he's stalking him. Travis sarcastically replies that he's stalking the lead singer of a non-existent band and Kai sits down beside him.
He concedes that he's been acting weird, and Travis says he's been like a completely different person. He reminds Kai that he was talking a few months ago about Head becoming the new U2, and Kai replies that success isn't everything.
Kai says that if they go to V Fest there's a chance they could blow up and wonders if that's what Travis wants.
Travis replies that that is the whole point, and he argues that you either go big or go home. He implores Kai not to back out now, as they can't do it without him. He hold out his first for Kai to bump, and he does, with Travis assuring him he's not going to regret it.
He leaves, telling Kai he'll see him at practice. Kai then notices Dr. Fred's presence, and tells him he doesn't want to hear anything. Dr. Fred accepts this, but sits down besides Kai and tells him he handled it really well.
Kai admits that it's not how he remembered it, and Dr. Fred guesses that Kai thought he was the one who pushed Travis into it, which he confirms. Dr. Fred says that Kai thinks everything he did led to Travis's suicide, but that the way he remembers things aren't how they really happened.
He gets up and suggests it's something for Kai to think about. Dr. Fred tells him to take it easy and Kai thanks him as he walks off.
Erica walks through the city, smiling, when she encounters Dr. Tom, sitting on a bench. She stops to talk, and he suggests that she's happy to be back. He stands up and they walk together as she replies that he has no idea how happy.
He laughs, and wonders about her desire to win the lottery. Erica replies that it's not all it's cracked up to be. Dr. Tom remarks that it gave her the freedom she was talking about, but she says that it gave her the freedom to coast and stop trying.
Erica concludes that having it easy solved some problems but created a whole bunch of new ones. Dr. Tom asks for an example, and she explains that all the hard years and struggle to find her way made her different and better.
He wonders where we'd be without struggle and hardship and pain. Dr. Tom asserts that it's easy to forget how much such moments shape and teach us and how different we'd be without them. Erica admits that it's hard to look at a setback as a gift.
Dr. Tom asks why though, saying that's exactly what it is. He quotes to Erica: "The struggle itself towards the height is enough to fill a man's heart." He leaves her and she smiles and narrates:
"Setbacks. We face them every day. Some cause us to stumble, others bring us to our knees. And along with pain and heartache each setback brings the opportunity to rise up, be stronger, and better, and braver than before."
Back in her apartment, Erica gets out some glasses and a bottle of champagne from the fridge. Ethan then returns home and she lights a candle. He notices everything and wonders if they're celebrating something, which she confirms.
He guesses that she got a new job already and Erica replies that it's more of a new direction and invites him to take a seat as she explains. Ethan sits down and she asks him what he thinks about her and Julianne starting up their own publishing company.
Ethan is surprised, and she concedes that it's crazy. He asks if it was Julianne's idea, and Erica explains it was hers and that she had read a manuscript by a new author that blew her away. She can't help but notice the concerned look on Ethan's face though, and asks him what's wrong.
He replies that starting her own publishing company is a risky move and that it's not something you decide on a whim. Erica tells him she isn't, and admits that she's going to have take out a business loan and that the hours are going to be crazy.
Ethan interjects and reminds her that she's never run a business and that it might not work out. She wonders why he's being so negative, but he disagrees that he is and that he doesn't mean to sound like a jerk but that he thinks they should be practical.
He says he just doesn't think it's a good idea, as Erica looks on aghast and disappointed.
"But, no sooner have we conquered a set back, we'll find another just waiting to take its place."
Episode Guide
The official launch of The None is taking place one evening at River Rock. Erica goes up to the podium on a stage at the front and welcomes the gathered crowd. She introduces Katie onto the stage, and hugs her as people cheer.
Katie tells the watching audience how excited she is and pays tribute to her friend and editor Erica, who she describes as the vision behind the launch. As she watches Katie up on the stage, Erica watches and narrates:
"Ever get that feeling that you've hit your stride? You're in the groove? On top of the world? Like everything you've worked so hard for is finally yours?"
Julianne comes up to Erica and praises her for the launch, telling her it's incredible work. Erica thanks her and, as Katie calls on some bachelors to come onto the stage, Julianne says that her "spidey senses" are telling her the book is destined to be a New York Times best seller.
Erica returns home to her apartment, where Ethan is sitting on the couch watching TV, in a triumphant mood. He chuckles as she dances around and asks him who "the man is" and suggesting herself.
Ethan concludes that she's had a good night, and she agrees that it was the best. She jumps over the back of the couch to kneel beside him. Beaming, Erica tells him that all the work and months of stress have finally paid off and that the whole night was perfect from beginning to end.
He's pleased to hear this and tells her to stay where she is while he goes over to his bag and removes a long thin box, which looks likely to contain jewellery of some kind. Erica asks him what it is, and Ethan tells her to open it.
She does and finds inside a pen, engraved with the words 'You're The One.' Ethan confesses that it's kind of corny, but she tells him she loves it and they kiss. He asks her if she's coming to bed, but Erica says she will in a minute as she can't wait to read the first online reviews of The None which come out in a minute.
Erica goes over to her desk and eagerly sits down in front of her laptop to search online for the reviews.
"But that perfect moment, no matter how badly we want it to, won't last forever."
She reacts in shock when she reads a scathing review of the book. Ethan, unaware of what the review has said, suggests that it's good. He goes over and puts his arm on her shoulder as she reads out a critical review.
He assures her that it's only one review, which Erica clarifies as a "terrible review." Ethan doubts whether anyone will care about the source of it though, and advises her not to think about it and go to bed.
She replies that she'll be right there, and as Ethan heads into the bedroom, she continues to read other scathing reviews. Erica puts her head in her hands in disbelief and despair.
"Because without warning a setback can strike, setting us even further back than where we started from."
The next morning, Erica and Ethan walk through the city together on their way to work. Erica reads a review in the paper as she walks, describing The None as "a colossal failure" and attributing it to Larry Horowitz.
Ethan responds by calling him "Larry Jerkowitz," but she informs him that he is the one of the top literary critics in Toronto. He replies that it's just a couple of people's opinions and wonders who reads reviews anyway.
Erica says that everyone in the industry does - including her bosses and the public - and that a review can make or break a book. He looks on aghast as she states how bad it is and that her day can't get any worse. Ethan kisses her goodbye and tells her to hang in there.
At River Rock, Erica sits at her desk, glancing around anxiously towards Julianne in her office. Eventually she decides to go and speak to her. She knocks on the door and enters, beginning to talk about the reviews for The None.
Julianne interrupts her, suggesting they were catastrophic. Erica says she feels like she should do something, but Julianne replies that, as much as she herself would like to give Horowitz a piece of her mind, nothing can be done.
Erica agrees, saying that she read the review and, while normally agreeing with Larry, feels like he misunderstood what Katie was trying to say and that his interpretation of the message was way off.
Julianne understands that Erica feels like she wants to cry and share feelings. She replies that it's not that, rather she feels like the review was unfair. Julianne suggests that she gets some perspective and that no-one will remember the reviews if the book sells.
Erica doubts this, but Julianne assures her and tells her to scoot - advising her not to dwell and after having a cry in the bathroom to just focus on "the sex book." She stresses the importance of being on their game, as Galvin is returning later in the day.
Returning to her desk, Erica sits down before wheeling over on her chair to another desk and picking up a copy of the paper with Horowitz's review. She scrunches it up tightly in her hand, telling the picture of him that he didn't even read the book.
She puts the paper down beside her and tries to get to work but can't help glancing back at it. Erica looks at her watch and looks back around at Julianne in her office. She picks up her bag and heads over to the elevator.
As she waits, hers and Julianne's attention is drawn to Brent, apologising to an author and telling him that they're looking for something more relatable given their recent colossal failure.
He looks over to Julianne as he says these last words and smiles as he walks past her office door. The author then takes back his manuscript and joins Erica waiting for the elevator. He explains to her that he just got another rejection.
She tells him she's sorry to hear it but he remarks that at the ninth time that he's almost stopped feeling it. Erica smiles at this and looks around at Brent at his desk, commenting to the author that he can be pretty tough.
He asks if she is an editor too, and Erica replies that she likes to think so. He introduces himself as Seth Newman and, stepping into the elevator together, she glances at the front page of his manuscript, and asks him what The Purple Door is about.
As the doors close, he tells her it's the story of his life. They continue talking about the book as they walk through the city streets and Erica recounts the tale of how he was raised in a cult by his parents but managed to escape.
Seth says he was one of the lucky ones and that he had to escape. He says he hasn't looked back until now and Erica suggests that it's an amazing story. She tells him that, although she can't promise anything, she'd be happy to read his manuscript.
Encouraged, he says he's happy to let her read it and that he appreciates her offer. Erica takes the manuscript and tells Seth she'll be in touch before they shake hands and go their separate ways.
Erica heads to the National Post newspapers offices where she waits to see Larry Horowitz. He greets her, saying her visit is a first and jokes that she has a gun in her bag. She dismisses the notion, but he replies that he's just checking.
Larry suggests that an editor coming to visit him on the day he gives a bad review, and Erica interrupts him to suggest that it's "unorthodox." He says that's one word, and that "crazy" is another.
They make their way through the newsroom towards his desk and he asks her what he can do for her that he hasn't already done. Erica replies that she's read his review and that she thinks he misinterpreted what Katie was trying to say.
He doubts this, but Erica insists the book sends out an optimistic message and that it's about finding happiness. Larry adds that this is a with a guy that you don't love and that it's about finding happiness through mediocrity and settling.
Erica finds this view a little simplistic and states that they were saying to stop holding out for Mr Right. He replies that they should instead settle for Mr Wrong. She disagrees, and says Mr Real, which Larry describes as a worthy idea but one that doesn't appear in the book.
She insists it's the whole backbone of the book, but Larry disagrees suggesting that the backbone is the cynical flipside - that all men are fixer-uppers and that there's no hope in finding a soul mate.
Erica says that wasn't the intention and he repeats his question of what she wants from him, suggesting a new review or retraction. She struggles to answer him, before saying she just wanted to understand.
Larry replies that she now does and admits that the book made him angry as it's a manual on giving up and how to stop looking for love. Erica is shocked to hear this, as he describes how he's been married to his soulmate for 20 years and assures her that he didn't marry "The None."
He hands her back a copy of the book, assuming that their conversation is over. He goes, leaving a dejected Erica.
Meanwhile, at Goblins, Kai is clearing tables as Travis comes in and reminds him of the time he said they were too raw to enter V Fest and that it would be a waste of time. Kai recalls saying this, and Travis tells him that they got in.
Kai is speechless, and Travis explains that, although they won't be on the main stage, key industry people will be there to hear them play. However, Kai insists that they're not going to do it. Travis replies that they are, but Kai tells him it's not what they need.
He reminds Travis that he said himself that he wanted to keep the band small. Travis refutes having ever said that, and tells Kai that the band is doing it before leaving angrily. Kai watches on, before turning around on hearing Dr. Fred's voice.
Dr. Fred, sitting at the counter, suggests that Travis has a point, as he doesn't say he wants to keep the band small until June 18 2012. He tells Kai he is a couple of years early, but Kai replies that Travis just doesn't know it now. Dr Fred suggests this is because hindsight is 20:20.
Kai confirms that he thinks so, but Dr. Fred say it isn't always, and tells Kai that Travis has big dreams too. Kai insists that Travis can't handle them, but Dr. Fred, while conceding that may be true, say that's not the point.
Dr. Fred points out that Kai's future - which he keeps fighting against - has found him. He exits Goblins and leaves Kai wondering.
Back at River Rock, Erica leaves the elevator to find Julianne working in her office and Brent making his way back to his desk. Julianne leaves her office and goes over to Brent, asking him for a quick word.
She tells him she has been reviewing the latest chapters of The Mystery Of Tomorrow and that they're not exactly up to snuff. Hearing this, Erica turns around in her chair, intrigued. Brent, unhappy, folds his arms, and replies that Friedkin felt strongly about the chapters.
Julianne says she feels very strongly that they need work, and he asks her to be specific. She says she'll do so when she gives him her notes, before telling Brent she doesn't like his tone. He replies that he doesn't trust her unreliable of late instincts.
She is shocked at this comment, and reminds him that she's his boss. Brent remarks that that is what her business cards say and insists that the chapters will remain as they are. Astonished at his behaviour, Erica gets up out of her chair and asks Brent what's wrong with him.
He replies that it's none of her business, but Erica reminds him that Julianne gave him his shot. Unbeknown to Erica and Julianne, Galvin then walks in behind them to hear their confrontation.
Erica states that if it wasn't for Julianne then Brent would still be working in the mail room. Brent spots Galvin's presence as the row escalates and immediately changes his tone, trying to calm things down and saying they should remain professional.
Julianne scoffs at Brent's calming words and suggests that the way he went behind her back to Galvin wasn't professional. Well aware of Galvin's silent presence, Brent replies that he was looking out for River Rock.
She rejects this idea though, and says Brent was looking out for himself. Julianne concludes that Galvin is either too naive or in the early stages of Alzheimer's not to be able to see that. Angered, and having heard enough, Galvin suddenly calls out Julianne's name.
Julianne turns around, shocked. Galvin then calls out Erica's name too, and tells them he wants to see them in the boardroom. Other employees in the office watch on as Erica and Julianne, stunned, look at Brent, disgusted.
They stand, side by side, in the boardroom, as an angry Galvin paces around. He scolds them for engaging in a public shouting match with a fellow employee. Julianne apologises, to which he responds that he keeps hearing apology after apology from her.
He says he's come back to find her department once again in shambles, highlighting Erica going to visit and accost Larry Horowitz at his office as a case in point. Julianne is shocked to learn this, and Erica tries to explain that she just wanted some clarification.
Julianne tells her they don't go and see critics, and Erica apologises, and tries to explain her thinking. Galvin interrupts her though, and says she didn't think and neither did Julianne.
Galvin concludes that Julianne dropped the ball on The None in giving a junior editor free rein, and reminds her that she also crossed the line with Friedkin - a bestseller. She tries to respond to his comments, but he continues, saying she managed to talk him into the sex book based largely on the projected success of The None.
He picks up a copy of the book on the table and slams it back down, saying it's only logical that they now kill that title. Erica tries to interject and explain that the sex book and The None are completely different.
Galvin is stunned at her outspokenness though and shouts at Erica, asking her who the hell she thinks she is - stunning her into silence. He then turns to Julianne, and says that she brought them great success with Friedkin and, based on that, he was prepared to overlook a few stumbles.
He concludes though that they've reached the point where her errors in judgement are now compromising the reputation of the company and that he can't stand by and let it happen.
Julianne pleads with him but he says that both her and Erica need to pack up their desks and be out of the office by lunch. Galvin exits the boardroom, leaving the pair of them stunned. Brent, watching on, smiles ruefully to himself.
Back home, Ethan tries to comfort a devastated Erica who is crying and drinking a beer. He tells her it's going to be OK, but she tells him it's not and that getting fired is the story of her life.
He insists that she'll find another job and always has. Erica wonders what she'll find a job in, suggesting customer service or telemarketing. Ethan assures her that she'll bounce back though and, although it may not seem like it, that this could be an opportunity.
Erica replies that it's an opportunity to collect welfare. He suggests that she's always wanted to work in fiction and that she now has the chance to apply for those kinds of jobs but she insists that Ethan doesn't realise just how small the industry is.
She says that everyone reads reviews and that no-one is going to hire her after this. Ethan disagrees, and says he will help her. He reaches over to her laptop and goes to open it up. Erica asks what he's doing, and he suggests they update her CV.
He says the best thing she can do is to get right back into the game. Erica sighs at this suggestion and closes the laptop. She concedes that Ethan's trying to make her feel better but, taking the laptop and walking towards the bedroom, says all she wants to do is crawl into bed and disappear.
However, when she goes to open her bedroom door she finds the laptop disappearing from her hand and her walking into Dr. Tom's office. Sitting in her usual chair, he reads a review from a paper, commenting that The None is a "refreshing take on love and tells it like it is."
He states this isn't bad and puts the paper on his desk. Erica heads to lie down on his couch and suggests that he goes and tells Larry Horowitz that. She adds that it doesn't matter anyway, seeing as she got fired.
Erica wonders why it has to be so hard, and Dr. Tom asks what would make things better, suggesting a vacation, a good book, or some perspective. She replies that a lottery ticket would, to which he assumes she means money.
Dr. Tom contemplates this, interested. He wonders what Erica thinks this would solve for her, speculating that it could buy her a little happiness. She replies that it's not about buying anything but that it's about freedom.
Hearing this, he gets out of her chair and says it brings them to her list, which he picks up off his desk. Dr. Tom asks her if she wants to take a stab and guess which regret he's talking about. Erica immediately replies "meandyoumakes2.com" and he congratulates her on being right.
Dr. Tom asks her what happened there, and she explains it was a dot-com company she worked for in the boom. Erica says she quit a few months before they were bought out and that it was the lottery ticket she threw away.
She states that it doesn't matter anyway, as he has previously told her she can't go back to win the lottery. Dr. Tom reminds her he said she can't go back and buy a ticket, but that this is different as it's a legitimate regret.
He asks her to indulge him and, sitting up on the couch, Erica suggests that, had she stayed, she'd have been rich in her 20s and could have paid off all her student loans and never had to work at a call centre.
Erica continues, describing how she would have had the time and means to dedicate to her writing and how her life would have been completely different. Suddenly, she finds herself transported back to where she stands in front of a mirror, applying lipstick.
She's then shocked to find a guy wearing just a towel around his waist come in behind her. He wonders why she's so surprised, and she smiles nervously. He tells her he has made reservations for them at Canoe.
Erica tries to digest this, and, noting her lack of enthusiasm informs her he had to call in some serious favours to get them a table at the last minute, before suggesting a "thanks Luke" is in order.
Realising that he's referring to himself, Erica thanks him and smiles. She's then shocked when he turns around, removes his towel and dries his hair, leaving himself naked in front of her.
She tries to take in the luxurious surroundings she finds herself in, with its fine interior and furnishings. Luke then comes down the stairs, informing her he's got a meeting at Goldman Sachs and asking her to call him after her meeting as he wants to hear all about it.
Erica is unsure what meeting he's referring to, and he reminds her she's going to River Rock about her book. She's surprised to hear this, although Luke concedes that while it's not a book yet he believes in her.
He then goes to the front door to leave, opens it, before handing Erica "her paper," with her believing for a moment that his words refer to her owning the newspaper title itself, rather than it simply being the one she has delivered.
Erica nervously says she'll read it with her coffee, and Luke checks she's OK before kissing her goodbye and leaving. She shuts the door behind him and continues exploring her house, becoming almost giddy with excitement when she spots a first edition of Ulysses on a shelf.
The doorbell then rings, and Erica opens it to find Dr. Tom, dressed as a fashion designer, entering - pushing a rack of clothing. He informs her he's got the 2004 Fall collection with him, to which she reminds him that she worked at the dot-com business in 2001.
Dr. Tom explains that she didn't quit and it's three years later on - after she made millions. Erica smiles at this news, as he holds a dress up against her, describing it as looking "fierce." She asks if he's her personal shopper, and he replies that he prefers "stylist."
He removes the sunglasses he's wearing, and informs her that the dress is for her meeting, with Erica checking he's referring to the one at River Rock about the book she's apparently been writing in her big fancy mansion that she bought with her millions.
She then tells him about the first edition copy of Ulysses she owns. He whistles, impressed with this, and she runs over to pick it up and show him, wondering if it's signed. However, Dr. Tom picks up a manuscript from a table and suggests Erica focuses on it instead.
Erica is shocked to see the manuscript is Little Feats which she recalls was a short story from her class with Professor Lozar. Dr. Tom replies that it's now the first chapter of her first novel, and points to how she's already started to expand it.
She's surprised she's managed to snag a meeting at River Rock, guessing that it's because of her wealth. Dr. Tom confirms that she's now in good company, and that it turns out she frequents the same private club as Frank Galvin's daughter.
He tells Erica that: "Success is often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable," before putting his sunglasses back on and she thanks him before he leaves.
She heads to River Rock, where she emerges from the elevator - surprised to see how different it looks. Erica spots Galvin in his office, who waves for her to come in.
In his office, he flicks through her pages as she explains how her book is about a girl from rural Ontario who suffers hardship after hardship and how she falls in love. Galvin looks on intrigued, although Erica senses he may be unsure about how "sexy" Ontario and hardship is.
She states that the story has been important to her since university though, and that she really connects with the protagonist, describing herself as an "underdog." At this point, Galvin stops her, and informs Erica he was born after the Great Depression and had seven siblings.
Erica confirms she knows this, as he continues to describe how he built his company from nothing. He states that he's lived through poverty whereas she became wealthy overnight. She concedes this point, and he reminds her of the saying to write what you know.
Galvin tells her that authenticity is everything and wonders how she could possibly know anything about her protagonist. Erica is surprised at this, but accepts his point, suggesting that she could make her character more urban.
He says that would be a start, but proposes they start from scratch. Erica tries to respond, but he interrupts her, advising her to stop trying to be the next Margaret Atwood and be what she is. Galvin recommends she writes the next Devil Wears Prada or Shopaholic book.
She looks disappointed that this is his impression of her, as he once again concludes that she should write what she knows. He gets out of his chair, telling Erica that's the best advice he give her. They shake hands and she thanks him as he wishes her good luck and she leaves.
Erica returns home and, as she enters, her cell phone begins to ring. She answers it, and the person on the other end asks her where she is. Not recognising the voice, Erica asks who she's speaking to, and is told it's Shana - who suggests Erica's forgotten about their shiatsus.
She denies so, although has to ask her where they're meeting.
At the massage parlour, Erica enjoys being given her massage, telling Shana that she could get used to it. Shana agrees, stating that one a week really isn't enough. She then says she needs to know whether Erica is coming with them that evening.
Once more unsure what she means, Erica asks Shana to remind her and is informed that there's a Noam Chomsky lecture about his new book. Erica says this sounds amazing, and asks if they get to meet him. Shana confirms so, adding that they'll have drinks with him.
Shana explains that the plan is to pick up Jenny and Tassie - with Erica excited to hear the mention of Jenny's name - in her new car. She says she'll then swing round to pick up Erica - who'll then spend the evening finding her a future husband.
Erica replies that it sounds perfect, before wondering about Judith coming, stating that Noam Chomsky is right up her alley.
Shana is surprised to hear Erica mention Judith's name though, and wonders if they ever talk seeing as Judith is so jealous of Erica. She tells Erica she can invite who she wants, but that she's not picking Judith up - which shocks Erica.
Erica arranges to meet up with Judith in a coffee house, and is pleased to see her turn up. She thanks her for coming, and Judith asks what the emergency is. Erica replies that she wants to know why they don't talk anymore - which astounds Judith.
She pleads with Judith to tell her why she stopped talking to her. Annoyed, Judith questions Erica's motives, but Erica insists that she knows Judith will tell her the truth, and asks her to lay it on her and not hold anything back.
After taking this in, Judith agrees to and informs Erica that she used to be ambitious and reminds her that she wanted to be an author and win a Booker. She says that ever since cashing in, all Erica has done is shop or travel or to go parties and lectures and silent auctions.
Erica looks ashamed to hear this as Judith concludes that she doesn't even try anymore. She asks Judith what happened between them, and Judith replies that she stills loves Erica as they were best friends for years.
She states that they're in different places right now, which disappoints Erica. Judith says she has to go back to work, but before leaving informs Erica that she was the one who stopped calling. She leaves a sad Erica deep in thought.
That evening, Erica returns home to find Luke sitting on the bed, in just his boxers, reading. He says he thought she was going to see Chomsky, but she informs him she cancelled before sitting down on the end of the bed.
Luke asks why, and she tells him she ended up meeting Judith for coffee. He sarcastically replies that that must have been fun, which Erica doesn't appreciate. He presumes her meeting at River Rock didn't go well, and she sighs and asks him what she does.
He thinks she means about Judith, but she says she means what she does day after day. Erica concludes that she doesn't have a job, she goes for massages with Shana, and wonders if the rest of her day is spent sitting around eating bonbons and talking about politics.
Luke reminds her she's writing a book, before suggesting she doesn't need River Rock and that she should self publish. Erica can't take him seriously, but he rejects the idea that she needs to go in and beg on her knees, stating she can publish herself or buy a publishing company.
Erica doubts it's that easy and disagrees with the view that if she can't do it herself that she should just buy it. As she then sarcastically doubts the idea about money not being able to buy happiness, she suddenly finds herself transported again.
She ends up sitting behind a desk at a cell centre, and is shocked to hear a caller's voice in her headset and an instructor standing over her telling her to answer with "WTP Insurance, how can I help you?"
Overwhelmed by where she finds herself though, Erica is unable to, and her instructor removes her headset and goes to answer the call herself - only to find the line dead. She apologises to Erica, and suggests she's going too fast.
Patronising Erica, she points to the phone on the desk and tells her that it's what they use in 2009 to transmit voices. Erica then looks down to see a badge on her top which says she's a trainee.
The instructor wonders if Erica is understanding her, but Erica is still dumbfounded by what has happened and how. Her instructor suggests it isn't happening and begins to suggest that Erica is putting the "u in incompetent" before realising her spelling error.
Erica tells Vera, the instructor, that she just needs a second. Vera tells her not to move or answer the phone though, which she writes on a post-it note and sticks on Erica's nose. Erica removes it, throwing it away in anger.
The phone then rings, and Erica answers it to find Dr. Tom on the other line. Annoyed, she asks him where he is and she puts down her headset to go and search for him. She heads to the ladies washroom where she confidently opens the door and, as expected, enters Dr. Tom's office.
He is sitting behind his desk, and she marches in and asks him what the hell is going on. Dr. Tom replies that he thinks Vera has made it perfectly clear and, pointing to her badge, says Erica is in training.
Erica asks him what she is doing at WTP in 2009, because she doesn't work there then. Dr. Tom explains that she does now and that, after living the good life for a while, the well ran dry.
He adds that it didn't help having Luke as her boyfriend and financial advisor, as he was apparently terrible at both. Panicking, Erica asks him to wait and wonders what he's saying.
She is stunned when Dr. Tom says all her money is gone and that she is at WTP because she had nothing to fall back on.
Erica can't believe it, and asks about Little Feats. Leaning back in his chair, Dr. Tom says little came of it as, after her and Luke broke up, rather than work on the book she decided she wanted to get away from it all and went on a safari to Tanzania.
Seemingly making it up as he goes along, Dr. Tom describes how she saw lots of lions, a giraffe or two, and monkeys. Erica struggles to come to terms with the fact she didn't finish her book and now has nothing.
Dr. Tom replies that she still has her mom, who she lives with - which stuns Erica. He gets up from his chair and moves over to the door, opening it for her and suggesting she doesn't want to keep Vera waiting.
Erica, anxious, checks that he's going to send her back to the real 2009. Dr. Tom wonders who said that it isn't the real 2009. She can't believe this, but he instructs her to go and enjoy the first day of the rest of her life.
She angrily rips off her badge though, throwing it down on the desk, and refuses to. She goes to sit down on her chair, telling Dr. Tom she's not going anywhere. However, as she does, Erica finds herself sitting back down on her chair at WTP - with her badge back on.
Erica looks around at all the other call centre workers there, and Vera then comes up, asking where she was. She tries to reply, and Vera guesses that she had to use the washroom. She reminds Erica that the rest of them have to wait until the scheduled break - in forty two and half minutes.
Annoyed, Erica tells her to back off and Vera suggests that she's being hostile and doesn't like her attitude. Angrily standing up, Erica is just about to speak when Vera stops her and starts making a beeping sound - saying she's getting a signal. She writes on a post-it note before sticking it on a stunned Erica and leaving.
Back home, Erica is sitting in the kitchen with her mom, describing how she was fired by sticky note, which she concludes is worse than being let go by email. Barbara assures her it will be fine and she'll find something else.
Erica suggests it'll be another call centre job, or that she can go and work for Uncle Ruby at White Dreams. Barbara says that when you hit a bump you pick yourself up and keep going. Erica replies that it isn't a bump but a giant wall.
She wonders if this is her life and whether she needs to accept that this is as good as it will get. Annoyed at her attitude, Barbara reminds Erica that she said she didn't even want the job and tells her she doesn't get it.
Barbara tells her that losing a job is one thing, but that losing a son and then your marriage is another. She stresses she's not trying to diminish what Erica is going through, but Erica agrees with her mom that she's wallowing.
She tells Erica that when her and Gary first got together it felt like she could see their entire future complete with three healthy kids, but that things don't always turn out the way you imagined.
Barbara explains that life deals you a hand and, no matter what cards you're holding, you have to play them. She says that it's hard and never stops being so, but that you learn and change and grow and that, even in her darkest moments, she reminds herself it's the reason why everyone is here.
Hearing this, Erica smiles, and Barbara reflects that, while she got fired and is now back on the bottom again, it could be worse. She implores a teary Erica to get back up and keep fighting.
Erica returns to River Rock and spots Brent in Julianne's usual office, putting some things on a shelf. She marches in, says hello, and introduces herself. He asks if she has an appointment as they both sit down.
Erica confirms she doesn't, but that she hoped to talk to him about working at River Rock. She hands him her resume, and he looks at it as she explains how she loves books and feels as though she has what it takes to work with authors and develop projects.
Brent takes this in, as she accepts that her CV doesn't reflect so. He replies that it reflects she has a Masters in English Lit. from ten years ago, which Erica corrects as nine years before taking his point.
He sighs, and tells her he has a soft spot for go-getters but that she needs a reality check. Brent hands her back her CV and says she has no experience. Erica bows her head, before stopping and handing her resume back, asking him to hire her in the mailroom.
Brent replies that mail sorters don't wear Prada, but Erica guesses that he did. She quotes "Secret Number 34" of dressing to impress, and promises him that she won't stay in the mail room for long.
Impressed by her attitude, he takes another look at her resume, and she confirms to him that both her home and cell numbers are on there. Brent tells her he'll see what he can do and they smile at one another and shake hands before Erica thanks him and leaves.
As she goes to walk back into the elevator though, she finds herself transported home into her apartment, with her laptop, entering her bedroom. Realising where she is, she breathes a sigh of relief and clutches the laptop close to her as she sits down on the bed and reflects.
The next morning, she prints out copies of her updated CV. Ethan comes into the kitchen, suggesting she's up early, and she replies that she had to get her CV ready and has drawn up a list of every publishing company in town.
Ethan comments on the difference a night's sleep makes, and Erica kisses him and tells him he was right. He replies that he usually is and he wishes her good luck as she leaves. She heads around publishing companies in the city, handing them her resume and checking them off her list as she does.
Exhausted, she takes a break and sits down on a bench where she spots a nearby bus shelter carrrying a poster for The None on the side of it. She sighs at she sees it's been vandalised with the words "is for losers" added.
She removes an orange from her bag to eat, and then notices the manuscript from Seth, which she also takes out and starts to read.
Later, she arranges to meet up with Julianne for lunch. She greets Julianne, who removes the sunglasses she's wearing to disguise the fact she's been crying.
Julianne tells Erica she better have a good reason for calling her as she has a half-eaten container of Chunky Monkey and Season 4 of The Golden Girls waiting at home for her.
Erica shows her Seth's manuscript and Julianne asks what it is. She explains that it's amazing and, handing it to her, says that, although it needs some work, it's different from anything else she's ever read.
Julianne reminds her that, in case she's forgotten, they're unemployed and pariahs. Erica asks her to hear her out, and suggests that they publish it. Julianne replies that someone needs to share their anti-depressants.
Erica insists she's being serious and, smiling broadly, says they should start a company together. Julianne says that setting up a company is a big deal and isn't like setting up a lemonade stand. However, Erica tells her to stop being such a "Debbie Downer."
Julianne is shocked to hear her own phrase being used against her, but Erica wonders when she has ever given up without a fight. She concedes that Julianne made a mistake with Friedkin and she herself screwed up on The None.
She's reminded by Julianne that they were fired, but Erica calls it a setback and says that it's an opportunity to try something. Erica suggests it may be the universe's way of giving them a push, and Julianne recalls that: "when the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."
Erica is surprised to hear this, and Julianne explains it's from The Sound Of Music. She agrees to read the manuscript but can't guarantee that she'll like it. Erica assures her that she'll love it and says she has a tingly feeling, and they smile at one another.
Meanwhile, at Goblins, Travis waits for Kai - who enters and suggests that he's stalking him. Travis sarcastically replies that he's stalking the lead singer of a non-existent band and Kai sits down beside him.
He concedes that he's been acting weird, and Travis says he's been like a completely different person. He reminds Kai that he was talking a few months ago about Head becoming the new U2, and Kai replies that success isn't everything.
Kai says that if they go to V Fest there's a chance they could blow up and wonders if that's what Travis wants.
Travis replies that that is the whole point, and he argues that you either go big or go home. He implores Kai not to back out now, as they can't do it without him. He hold out his first for Kai to bump, and he does, with Travis assuring him he's not going to regret it.
He leaves, telling Kai he'll see him at practice. Kai then notices Dr. Fred's presence, and tells him he doesn't want to hear anything. Dr. Fred accepts this, but sits down besides Kai and tells him he handled it really well.
Kai admits that it's not how he remembered it, and Dr. Fred guesses that Kai thought he was the one who pushed Travis into it, which he confirms. Dr. Fred says that Kai thinks everything he did led to Travis's suicide, but that the way he remembers things aren't how they really happened.
He gets up and suggests it's something for Kai to think about. Dr. Fred tells him to take it easy and Kai thanks him as he walks off.
Erica walks through the city, smiling, when she encounters Dr. Tom, sitting on a bench. She stops to talk, and he suggests that she's happy to be back. He stands up and they walk together as she replies that he has no idea how happy.
He laughs, and wonders about her desire to win the lottery. Erica replies that it's not all it's cracked up to be. Dr. Tom remarks that it gave her the freedom she was talking about, but she says that it gave her the freedom to coast and stop trying.
Erica concludes that having it easy solved some problems but created a whole bunch of new ones. Dr. Tom asks for an example, and she explains that all the hard years and struggle to find her way made her different and better.
He wonders where we'd be without struggle and hardship and pain. Dr. Tom asserts that it's easy to forget how much such moments shape and teach us and how different we'd be without them. Erica admits that it's hard to look at a setback as a gift.
Dr. Tom asks why though, saying that's exactly what it is. He quotes to Erica: "The struggle itself towards the height is enough to fill a man's heart." He leaves her and she smiles and narrates:
"Setbacks. We face them every day. Some cause us to stumble, others bring us to our knees. And along with pain and heartache each setback brings the opportunity to rise up, be stronger, and better, and braver than before."
Back in her apartment, Erica gets out some glasses and a bottle of champagne from the fridge. Ethan then returns home and she lights a candle. He notices everything and wonders if they're celebrating something, which she confirms.
He guesses that she got a new job already and Erica replies that it's more of a new direction and invites him to take a seat as she explains. Ethan sits down and she asks him what he thinks about her and Julianne starting up their own publishing company.
Ethan is surprised, and she concedes that it's crazy. He asks if it was Julianne's idea, and Erica explains it was hers and that she had read a manuscript by a new author that blew her away. She can't help but notice the concerned look on Ethan's face though, and asks him what's wrong.
He replies that starting her own publishing company is a risky move and that it's not something you decide on a whim. Erica tells him she isn't, and admits that she's going to have take out a business loan and that the hours are going to be crazy.
Ethan interjects and reminds her that she's never run a business and that it might not work out. She wonders why he's being so negative, but he disagrees that he is and that he doesn't mean to sound like a jerk but that he thinks they should be practical.
He says he just doesn't think it's a good idea, as Erica looks on aghast and disappointed.
"But, no sooner have we conquered a set back, we'll find another just waiting to take its place."
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Papa Can You Hear Me?: Analysis
Season 2, Episode 10: Papa Can You Hear Me?
Analysis
Here's an incredibly predictable comment: I love this episode. For me, it's one of the best of Season 2 as Dr. Tom takes centre stage and gets to travel back in time to re-live his regret over his daughter, Sarah.
This is something we saw right at the start of Season 2, as Dr. Tom took Erica back in time to show how he and his daughter had fallen out. He also referred to her in Episode 4 and her love of taking risks.
It was a nice touch from the writers, therefore, to bring the matter back and deal with it to a certain extent towards the end of Season 2. And a clever way of showing the growth and development in the relationship between Dr. Tom and Erica.
Indeed, relationships are at the centre of this episode. I have to say, right from the outset, I disagree with Erica's assertion that relationships are solid. Maybe I'm wrong to, but I see them as very fragile. Capable of ending and breaking in an instant.
Plenty of relationships are put under the radar in this episode. We'll deal with the primary one between Dr. Tom and his daughter Sarah first of all though.
It's clearly a big issue for Dr. Tom, as he doesn't even know where his daughter is in the present day, or whether she's even alive. For a parent, that must be a nightmare.
I think one of the reasons I enjoy this episode so much as well is because I have a difficult relationship with my own parents. We're not close to say the least. I guess it's one of those things which begins in teenage years.
You just have to hope that as you mature and grow up, that you become closer again. It's not always the case though. Clearly Dr. Tom and Sarah, with their strawberry milkshakes with extra whipped cream, used to be close.
It's that classic parent-kid dilemma though. The parent wants their kid to be happy but they also want them to be the best they can be and think they know what's best for them. The kid disagrees and wants to live their own life and make their own choices. Cue confrontation.
I don't doubt that being a parent is the hardest job in the world, and I certainly doubt my own ability to be a father, if it were to ever happen.
I do feel lucky as a kid though that my parents have never been very pushy in terms of my future and been happy for me to do whatever I want.
On his return to the past, Dr. Tom sees how wrong he has been about Sarah - and realising how she has a talent for art which should be encouraged and nurtured rather than shut down. How he did he discover it? By taking the time to listen and understand.
Obviously Sarah's rant over dinner resonated with him, as he realises that the way he has been acting with Erica, controlling the direction of her therapy, has produced a similar negative reaction from her.
I liked the fact that he was able to keep the drawing of Sarah's though, proudly hanging it up on his wall in his office. However, he was clearly sad on his time travelling of the wasted and missed years that he will never be able to get back as he watched his talented daughter at work.
Great acting as ever from Michael, who is given more time than usual to shine. I also liked the different therapist interaction in this episode - with the return of Dr. Naadiah and Dr. Fred also making an appearance.
Ultimately, Dr. Tom - maybe in a sign of how he cares about Erica - does go and pay a visit to Kai, as she requested. Obviously something he said got through to the barista too, judging by his decision at the end to return to Goblins to work.
Speaking of Kai, the turbulent friendship between him and Erica takes another twist in this episode. Seriously, it's getting pretty boring by now.
They are going to be friends, they aren't going to be friends. They are going to talk about things, they aren't going to talk about things. Erica is going to go to Goblins for coffee, Erica isn't going to go for Goblins for coffee.
She, naively, thinks initially that things with Kai can go on as normal, despite her confessing feelings for him. She seems to have forgotten what happened during a similar thing in Season 1 when she told Ethan she loved him though.
How uncomfortable she now is around Ethan is a clear sign of the confused feelings she has though. The words of Sam about her relationship with Josh and the "made up" view he had of her clearly strike a chord too.
My own view is that most relationships break up because the two people aren't right for one another in the first place. The only difference is how long it takes for that to be discovered - sometimes it can take a couple of dates, sometimes months, sometimes years.
The other difference can be whether it is a discovery made internally or whether an external factor provides the catalyst for this discovery. I guess this is where Kai comes in, causing confusion and doubt in Erica's mind about what she really wants.
You'd think the fact her issues with Kai stops her from sleeping in the middle of the night, causing her to go to Goblins late, falling out with her therapist, and not wanting her boyfriend kissing her would give her some kind of indication though.
Of course, as is the way so often in Season 2, the episode ends with Erica saying she can't be friends with Kai. Talk about deja vu. You get the feeling it is the last desperate act to save her relationship with Ethan. The inevitable just keeps getting delayed.
Analysis
Here's an incredibly predictable comment: I love this episode. For me, it's one of the best of Season 2 as Dr. Tom takes centre stage and gets to travel back in time to re-live his regret over his daughter, Sarah.
This is something we saw right at the start of Season 2, as Dr. Tom took Erica back in time to show how he and his daughter had fallen out. He also referred to her in Episode 4 and her love of taking risks.
It was a nice touch from the writers, therefore, to bring the matter back and deal with it to a certain extent towards the end of Season 2. And a clever way of showing the growth and development in the relationship between Dr. Tom and Erica.
Indeed, relationships are at the centre of this episode. I have to say, right from the outset, I disagree with Erica's assertion that relationships are solid. Maybe I'm wrong to, but I see them as very fragile. Capable of ending and breaking in an instant.
Plenty of relationships are put under the radar in this episode. We'll deal with the primary one between Dr. Tom and his daughter Sarah first of all though.
It's clearly a big issue for Dr. Tom, as he doesn't even know where his daughter is in the present day, or whether she's even alive. For a parent, that must be a nightmare.
I think one of the reasons I enjoy this episode so much as well is because I have a difficult relationship with my own parents. We're not close to say the least. I guess it's one of those things which begins in teenage years.
You just have to hope that as you mature and grow up, that you become closer again. It's not always the case though. Clearly Dr. Tom and Sarah, with their strawberry milkshakes with extra whipped cream, used to be close.
It's that classic parent-kid dilemma though. The parent wants their kid to be happy but they also want them to be the best they can be and think they know what's best for them. The kid disagrees and wants to live their own life and make their own choices. Cue confrontation.
I don't doubt that being a parent is the hardest job in the world, and I certainly doubt my own ability to be a father, if it were to ever happen.
I do feel lucky as a kid though that my parents have never been very pushy in terms of my future and been happy for me to do whatever I want.
On his return to the past, Dr. Tom sees how wrong he has been about Sarah - and realising how she has a talent for art which should be encouraged and nurtured rather than shut down. How he did he discover it? By taking the time to listen and understand.
Obviously Sarah's rant over dinner resonated with him, as he realises that the way he has been acting with Erica, controlling the direction of her therapy, has produced a similar negative reaction from her.
I liked the fact that he was able to keep the drawing of Sarah's though, proudly hanging it up on his wall in his office. However, he was clearly sad on his time travelling of the wasted and missed years that he will never be able to get back as he watched his talented daughter at work.
Great acting as ever from Michael, who is given more time than usual to shine. I also liked the different therapist interaction in this episode - with the return of Dr. Naadiah and Dr. Fred also making an appearance.
Ultimately, Dr. Tom - maybe in a sign of how he cares about Erica - does go and pay a visit to Kai, as she requested. Obviously something he said got through to the barista too, judging by his decision at the end to return to Goblins to work.
Speaking of Kai, the turbulent friendship between him and Erica takes another twist in this episode. Seriously, it's getting pretty boring by now.
They are going to be friends, they aren't going to be friends. They are going to talk about things, they aren't going to talk about things. Erica is going to go to Goblins for coffee, Erica isn't going to go for Goblins for coffee.
She, naively, thinks initially that things with Kai can go on as normal, despite her confessing feelings for him. She seems to have forgotten what happened during a similar thing in Season 1 when she told Ethan she loved him though.
How uncomfortable she now is around Ethan is a clear sign of the confused feelings she has though. The words of Sam about her relationship with Josh and the "made up" view he had of her clearly strike a chord too.
My own view is that most relationships break up because the two people aren't right for one another in the first place. The only difference is how long it takes for that to be discovered - sometimes it can take a couple of dates, sometimes months, sometimes years.
The other difference can be whether it is a discovery made internally or whether an external factor provides the catalyst for this discovery. I guess this is where Kai comes in, causing confusion and doubt in Erica's mind about what she really wants.
You'd think the fact her issues with Kai stops her from sleeping in the middle of the night, causing her to go to Goblins late, falling out with her therapist, and not wanting her boyfriend kissing her would give her some kind of indication though.
Of course, as is the way so often in Season 2, the episode ends with Erica saying she can't be friends with Kai. Talk about deja vu. You get the feeling it is the last desperate act to save her relationship with Ethan. The inevitable just keeps getting delayed.
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